Ask Enishi

I just couldn't resist posting this, since I laughed my 4S$ off.

Dear Enishi-dono;
I am living with a woman that I'm not married to. Not only do I protect her from attackers, but I clean the dojo, do the laundry, and take care of the children. In return, she beats me over the head with her shinai and repeatedly calls me "baka". I want to say something, but I'm afraid. What should I do?
~Oro
Tokyo, Japan

Oro in Tokyo:
Get revenge on this insolent woman. Kill or seriously injure someone close to her. Behead her favorite pet. If you're feeling industrious, burn her house down. Remember, revenge is sweet, but senseless massacre is sweeter.
~Enishi

Enishi-san;
I'm a doctor, and I have feelings for one of my patients. He, however, doesn't seem to notice, or just doesn't care. On top of all that, he's always getting hurt so that I have to fix him up again. What should I do? Is he playing hard to get, or is he just an idiot?
~fox-girl
Tokyo, Japan

fox-girl:
I say kill him. Unrequited love sucks, so get rid of it. Plus, they won't ask you to treat a dead guy.
~Enishi

Dear Enishi-san,
There's this guy I'm deeply in love with.....He's ambitious, intelligent, a great fighter; a born leader with a great vision. And he soooooo utterly cool!!!! My problem is ....I'm technically male (though I think I'm very pretty....) and he's dead. He has a lover, (dead) but she can't fight, unlike me (and duelling is all he cares about). Will we ever be together? Please help me, I'm going insane just thinking about him... I can't forget him! What should I do?
--Cute little desperate Scythe-Wielder
Kyoto, Japan

Scythe-Wielder~
What the hell?! There is NO WAY that relationship is gonna work. Apart from the fact that you're a man, the GUY is DEAD. Face it. Get over it. Find yourself another, more ALIVE object of devotion and move on. Geez, and people say I'M crazy...
~Enishi


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|_0L!, 3|/|i5|-|1 r0x0r!!!