Art B-Werx pics

BakaMattSu · May 5, 2008

b-tuvs said: ↑

I think I finally made Elle look really angry here, what do you guys think?
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Yup, I think you've got it this time.

Back on the subject of Riza's Parlor, you seem to have a good footprint going with your plot ideas.

After corpse girl Yugi is introduced to the cast in chapter 2, adapting to her new lifestyle opens up some opportunities for later plots - immediate possible ideas coming to mind:
-Yugi develops a crush on Sol. Naturally, her feelings are not reciprocated and her advances only end up as misunderstandings (not to mention Sol is scared of even being near her).
-After working for Riza for so long Yugi ends up forgetting that she's dead and causes a stir when she goes for a stroll around the town.
-Yugi happens to recognize one of the regular corpses brought to the parlor. It turns out the old woman was a classmate. This makes Yugi realize she's been dead for much longer than she thought. She takes the opportunity to try and learn what has happened to people she knew back when she was alive.

To make the night job (Chapter 3) interesting, I think it would be great to set it up so that it looks like an easy job at first, but then just turn it into massive chaos. Something like:

Riza takes care of the corpse and wipes her hands clean. Sol, cringing and turned away, dares to peek after the noise dies down. "That's it?" Riza looks up without emotion, "Yeah. You were expecting more?" Sol gestures frantically to all the equipment they towed along, "You mean to tell me that we lugged the Gut Sucker 2000, the Mummy Masher, and the Mutilator 400 out here, and we didn't even need all this junk?"

Riza's expression doesn't change. "The Mutilator 500. The 400 had some serious design flaws and tended to jam up pretty badly."

Sol shoots her a stern gaze. Riza hefts the contraption back on her shoulder. "Look Sol, in our line of business you can't be caught unprepared. There was no telling what was going to be here. Better safe than sorry."

Sol finds that he has to accept that answer. "I guess you're right."

"Come on, let's go eat! I'm starving." Riza calls out. (The panel focus is not on her, but a gravestone dripping with guts)

The utter chaos I was mentioning could be anything that now catches them off-guard. However, through the use of all the tools at their disposal they triumph in the end.

Possibility #1 - Riza fails to notice that the creep she killed was actually an unusual form of Zombie - a Regrowth. This heavy duty version of undead has amazing regenerative powers and pulls itself back together from the splattered guts moments after they leave the scene.

Possibility #2 - The creep they kill is just the tip of the iceberg and before they can leave the scene, Riza and company find themselves utterly surrounded by a classic swarm of mindless zombies.

Again, just throwing things out there. Feel free to use anything that inspires.

b-tuvs · Aug 20, 2008

Two More pages to go!!!

More pages for Girl Project Code 'L'!

It's been ages since I last put anything on this thread

Things got a bit complicated again and I am not able to draw anything for the past three weeks! It makes me feel sad that the works on Riza's Parlor and Girl Project - Alternate were put on hold indefinitely losing inspiration and complications of life can really put an artist down... Even though things are getting pretty tough on me right now, I will still try and get back to what I love to do, making amateur manga works eventho I still suck at drawing after all these years, I will still keep on drawing

Here are two more pages for Girl Project Code 'L'. Alpha is seriously damaged and yet she still insists on fighting against Elle. I hope you guys like it, only two more pages to go till the finish! (Finally...)

For those who would like to see the rest of the manga you can click on the links below, enjoy!

Page 01 Page 02 Page 03 Page 04 Page 05 Page 06 Page 07 Page 08 Page 09 Page 10 Page 11 Page 12 Page 13 Page 14 Page 15 Page 16 Page 17 Page 18 Page 19 Page 20 Page 21 Page 22 Page 23 Page 24 Page 25 Page 26

A New story that sprung from Elle's Droid clone! After being trashed, Genma took Elle's Droid clone to his workshop... "I SWEAR, I WILL REPAIR YOU!!"

[!]READ FROM RIGHT TO LEFT

Girl Project - ALTERNATE Page 02

Girl Project - ALTERNATE Page 03

Girl Project - ALTERNATE Page 04

*Print Available in DeviantArt!!!

BakaMattSu · Aug 21, 2008

b-tuvs said: ↑

It makes me feel sad that the works on Riza's Parlor and Girl Project - Alternate were put on hold indefinitely
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"Indefinitely?"

Please please please tell me that's a translation error. I was pumped and psyched to see the development of Riza's Parlor, and would be very sad to never hear of it again. There was always something about that story that really clicked with me.

Do you mind sharing exactly what happened?

Back on topic, I have nothing but praises for the current crop of images from your doujinshi. I'm positively envious of your talent.

Basher · Aug 21, 2008

Nice job.

Bummer life got in the way. We have all the time in the world but it sure doesn't feel that way. I feel your pain.

b-tuvs · Oct 8, 2008

New Manga Work on the way^^

It's been a long while since I last posted anything here^^;
Even though life has a lot of complications, I'm still doing what I love to do, drawing mangas The final two pages of 'GP code L' are still on hold and I'm hoping sometime next week I will have some free time to get back on working with it. As for the Riza's Parlor Manga Project, two additional pages have been sketched, but they are still not inked yet. Those two pages will be the opening pages for RP and I think I did some pretty nifty scenes there (so you guys better watch out for that^^)

Right now, these are all I can afford to post, a side story of Girl Project which I called Girl Project - ALTERNATE. This story revolves around Lambda, a discarded experimental droid of Stink Worx. The format may confuse you because this is the first time I wrote a manga using the right to left format (same as Japanese Manga) I hope you guys enjoy

[NOTICE!] Please read the manga from RIGHT to LEFT

BakaMattSu · Oct 8, 2008

I am so happy to see you working again on your passion! I think you've outdone yourself on the presentation of Girl Project - Alternate, and that just sets me up in a major way to be excited about your offerings to come.

I know for a fact I will be holding my breath to see your work on Riza's Parlor. I was extremely sad when you announced it was being shelved almost two months ago, so it was a surprise when I read you were revisiting the material.

Coincidentally, the tidbits you had previously dropped on the boards sparked inspiration in me and I was actually working on a derivative sort of fan novelization. This was in response to previous indication and assumption that you were dropping the whole thing altogether. I realize now that it was a bit tacky to follow up on something that fell under your creative umbrella, but I was so enamoured with the idea that I just couldn't bear to see it not come about in some format.

Suffice it to say, I hope you are alright if I sort of unofficially pen a "fanfiction" version of the story. It likely won't follow your own vision of things, but I just couldn't help myself.

The following is based on some of your initial concepts previously detailed earlier in this thread. I was torn between several different introductions. I initially was inclined to follow through with an opening involving Riza, with ideas branching from your original introduction where Sol and Riza are childhood friends to one where Riza is a loner whom Sol sort of admires but knows little about.

Following the second train of thought, I originally planned to have Riza stop him in the hallway and awkwardly tell him she "needs" him. The obvious misinterpretation occurs where Sol believes they are about to go on a date, but it actually turns out Riza's usual helper (yugi, the corpse girl) vanished wihout notice and she's short-handed to do a job.

Then I stumbled upon this part of your original draft and knew I hard my starting point:

b-tuvs said:

“Oh good morning Sol, I thought you’ve already gone to school” Riza greeted, “you know that I got things to do in the morning before I go to school!” Sol blurted. “What, putting up talismans around your room so that no dead person can enter?” Riza chuckled sarcastically, “ha-ha very funny! It’s because you haven’t been victimized by the dead before” Sol grumbled. As Sol kept on talking he begins to recall his nasty ordeal with the undead-dead! It was in his youth when his grandfather died, Sol was his grandfather’s favorite grandchild and they often play together when Sol’s family comes over for a visit. During the funeral service Sol cried his heart out calling to his diseased grandfather, although his parents told him not to do that. Then, a shocking thing happened, his grandfather’s coffin opened up and out popped Sol’s dead grandfather reaching out it’s stiff cold arms toward him, everybody in the service ran out terrified and the poor young Sol was left alone all day in the cold arms of his dead relative, the next day they found the poor boy traumatized.
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My grandfather died when I was very young. One morning he simply just didn't wake up. Died in his sleep. Went peacefully, the doctor said.

My parents described it as a tragic loss. Of course, death just wasn't a concept I had at the time. I didn't understand whey everyone around me was suddenly so crestfallen. I couldn't grasp the situation that had come about to abolish the light-hearted smiles around me that I had gotten so accostumed to. Worst of all, I was flat our angry when I was told my grandfather was going away and not coming back. It sounds a little silly when I think about it today, but back then, looking on with the innocent eyes of a child who regarded everything around him as immortal, it just felt like everyone else was accepting and perpetuating a lie.

I had at a lot of friends growing up, but I'd be hard-pressed to give you any names today. It's not that I wasn't exactly insincere with any of my friendships. Rather, it had more to do with how nothing lived up to the things I did with my grandfather. It seemed that every time we went for a visit he had discovered a new wilderness site for the two of us to go explore. We'd almost immediately rush out into the surrounding trails after my parents and I arrived, despite my mother's flustering protests. Grandfather knew the best perching hills for watching local wildlife. He knew the most scenic landscapes for viewing the setting sun. He knew the best hiking paths for just taking in nature and letting go of all the cares you had in the world.

I can recall the lively warmth in his index finger as my entire tiny hand gripped around it. When I tuckered out he would step over to the side of the trail and hoist me up onto his shoulders the rest of the way. So positively brimming with life, it was no wonder he stood out above any other friendships I had.

I can recall the chilling cold of his motionless body as it rested rigidly in the open casket. It had been a week since I had last visited grandfather before he had passed on. Only a handful of days before had we sat next to a pond that had overextended its normal borders following the heavy rain the night before. I remember proudly scooping up a bullfrog and presenting it to grandfather to have him return an approving smile.

Despite coming face to face with the reality of it all, when my parents had ushered me over with them in silence at the funeral I refused to accept things as they were. After days of denial and consoling myself inwardly with the belief that everyone around me had been lying, I began to rapidly feel any reassurance I had fading away in face of the still man before me.

I began talking casually as if we were simply here for a visit as usual. Although I felt increasingly at odds with my beliefs he would actually respond I continued on, telling grandfather about what sights I had seen that weekend, about the many colored leaves autumn was bringing. I could feel my parents behind me exchanging unsure glances, each of them undecided as to if they should interfere.

I don't know exactly when it happened, but somewhere during my speech the reality and concepts all hammered down upon my consciousness at once. I suppose in reflection that it coincided with the last remnants of internal defenses I had fully fading away and expiring. With each word I spoke it became harder and harder to disprove what I was seeing before me. My grandfather was indeed no longer with us and no amount of conversation would provoke a response.

My shield had been breached and emotion was breaking through at an alarming rate. I wanted to believe my grandfather was not dead but my hopes were becoming dashed.

So I yelled. With the first tears beginning to well up around my eyes I called out louder than I ever thought possible. My wailing was desperation personified. One last ditch effort in the belief that I could get through to him if I put enough sincerity into it. I called for grandfather to wake up. He had been sleeping for too long and he was going to miss out on too much to just lie there.

Like any sensible adults would do, my parents scolded me. I was told to hush up. I was making a scene and embarrassing them. I didn't care. Nothing mattered at that moment other than the chance of breaking through to my grandfather. I resisted their attempts to constrain me and rushed over to his side, leaning over the edge and sobbing.

I can recall the clammy absence of heat as his hand reached up and covered mine. I can recall the horrified screams behind me as my grandfather sat up in his casket. I can recall my heart slowing as he turned to me, and the blurring sounds of many behind me fleeing in panic. I can recall looking up into his face.

I can't recall what happened next.
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Basher · Oct 9, 2008

First off wow Nice job B-werx. I am also glad you continued. Count me as one of your fans.

BMS, loved that fanfic. I like how you write.

b-tuvs · Oct 9, 2008

Thanks!

BM's fanfic seems like a very good material, it could fit in as a side story detailing the events that happened between Sol and his Grandfather and why he loves him so much. I see a lot of potential with the Riza's Parlor plots, I would like to make this project work.

Thanks a lot guys^^

b-tuvs · Oct 26, 2008

New PLOT developments for Riza's Parlor

I was recently brainstorming on new plots for Riza's Parlor, I feel very inspired to pursue this project and inch my way into completing at least one chapter. As I was saying, I have came up with some rough drafts for chapter 4.5 & 5 (the original plot for chapter 5 was written a few months prior to chapter 4.5). The two chapters seem to co-relate so I decided to put them together chronologically. These are still rough drafts and they can still be further developed, I just thought I'd share this and ask for some of your ideas to further develop these plots.

Chapter 4.5

Sol’s Love humdrum

The scene opens with a narration by Sol “I know that that I’m at the peak of my youth and guys my age should be having a fairly normal love life, but it seems that I have no luck with girls… They say I look like a stalker and I freak the hell out of them. I have a female friend who is a total bomb and many guys at school think she’s very cute, but with me having a relationship with her is totally impossible. She easily blocks off every advance any guy gives her, she dumps them on the spot without hesitation. It seems she only cares about is her obsession to dismember corpses… Oh, why didn't the heavens gave me a normal female childhood friend!? Why did it had to be Riza!?” The next scene opens with the usual morning happening with Riza hitting Sol’s back “Ohayo Sol-kun!” SLAP!! “Ow! take it easy will ya!? That really hurts!” Sol grumbled, “Oh don’t be such a cry baby, you’re a man aren’t cha’ so take it like one” Riza retorted. “She says it like that, but she doesn’t even see me as one…” Sol thought to himself, “Riza, why don’t you act a little more feminine like ordinary girls?” He said, “Oh, you mean…Ne, Sol-kun can you help me choose a frilly dress to wear tonight?” Riza acting out all girly and making a cutesy impression, “Yeah, like that!” Sol retorted, “Oh, puh-leeze girls like those are overrated, don’t you think hunting down and mutilating zombies is much more fun?” Riza elaborated. “You’re really not normal, you know that?” Sol complained, “Oh, so you wish that I should be more feminine and normal like the rest, is that it? Or wait… Maybe you got the hots for me, huh?” Riza said making a weird face at Sol, “Sha… Shut up like hell I would fall for you” Sol denied, “Uhuh… You know, I hear many people say that we almost look like a couple when we walk together from school every day” Then Riza grabs one of Sol’s arm, “See if I cling to you like this we could be easily mistaken as lovers” She jokingly uttered. “Don’t be stupid! Your hobbies freak me out, there’s no way we can be a couple” Sol further grumbled “AHAHAHAHA! Then why are you blushing?” Riza continued teasing him, “Oh shut up…” Sol moped, “If only you had been like a normal girl…” he though to himself. Sol’s narration continues “Because of her weirdness more freaky things happened, like miss dead girl Yugi.” A flash back scene opens during the first time Sol and Riza met Yugi. “I don’t mind having an admirer, but at least make it a living one!!! Oh why is this happening to me, why can’t I be like those guys from anime shows living with pretty and normal girls!?” From afar we see a girl rushing toward Riza and Sol, “Sol-kun!!”, “Oh no, it’s miss dead girl…” Sol murmured making a stupid looking scared impression “Sol-kun!” Yugi jumps at Sol, but he evaded. SLAM!! Yugi hits the floor, “Riza-san we have a job order to exterminate some pretty weird zombies in the next town.”
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Chapter 5

Riza’s Parlor 5th Draft

The scene opens with Sol walking to school and behind him he hears a voice of a girl calling out to him, “Hey Sol-kun wait up!” He turns around and sees Riza running behind him. “I told you to wait up,” Riza mutters as she catches her breath, “It’s not my fault you got lots of things to do in the morning like putting up talismans around your room.” Sol replies smiling, Riza blows up her cheeks, pouts and acted all girly after hearing what he said. Ahead of them a cute girl was waving in front of the school gate, “Senpai!” “Ah, Yugi-chan!” Sol runs toward the girl, “Senpai I was worried, I thought you might be late today” Yugi said worriedly, “I almost got late because of a certain person…” Sol says as he looks toward Riza, “Let’s go Senpai.” Yugi grabs one of Sol’s arms and pulls him toward the school gate, “He… Hey wait for me!” Riza runs after the two. DING… DONG… DANG… DONG… The school bell rang and the classes began. During class Riza is seen scratching her head, Sol notices that she is having trouble with their lesson. He writes something in a small piece of paper and handed it to Riza, she turns her head and smiles, “thanks Sol-kun, I don’t know what I would do without you.” During lunch break, Yugi often comes over to have lunch with Riza and Sol, “Senpai! I made some boxed lunch for you.” Yugi hands out a neatly arranged boxed lunch to Sol, “I made it with all my love” she added smiling, meanwhile, Riza pulls out her boxed lunch that looks like a mess. “You should learn how to cook like Yugi-chan here” Sol said as he pats Yugi’s head, Riza pouts again saying, “One day I will be able to make an excellent boxed lunch for you and I will win your heart!” “Okay that’s enough for that, let’s eat!” Sol laughs and started eating Yugi’s boxed lunch. Everyday is all bliss and Sol is living an ordinary life until one evening, on their way home from school after completing a school project they came across a zombie corpse, both Yugi and Riza screamed with terror clinging behind Sol, “Don’t worry girls, I will take care of this!” He huddles the two girls on one corner and handed them his bag saying, “Stay close together and don’t lose my bag, it has a corpse zombie repellent in it” “Sol-kun, be careful” Riza muttered, “Senpai please come back to us safely” Yugi said worriedly, Sol smiled and bravely dashed out to face the zombie corpse. “HIYAAAA!” With a few blows of his weapon the zombie was vanquished, “Heh, is that all you got?” Sol says as he puts his weapon to his side, the girls came out cheering over his victory with the zombie, “it was nothing, a man’s got to do, what a man’s got to do…” he said confidently, but unknown to him there was another zombie lurking in the dark and as he turns around it lunged at him. Everything went a blur then black. After a few minutes he sees Yugi shaking his shoulders, “Sol-kun wake up! Wake up!” Sol jumps up screaming, “AAAAH!” “Relax its already dead…” Riza said, Sol sees a headless corpse lying beside him, “Wha… What happened!?” he blurts, “That was close Sol-kun” Yugi said worriedly as she comes closer toward him, “Eeeh! What!? I thought I killed it!” Sol babbled, “Killed what? If we hadn’t been here you’ll be going home without a brain” Riza said, “What are you talking about!? You two were all girly a minute ago!” Sol blurts out, “Are you okay? I think that zombie got to your brain already.” Riza retorted, “Don’t you remember? You were running around like a scared chicken then you suddenly disappeared, we heard you shouting and when we saw you a zombie was already gnawing on your head” Yugi said, “Yeah, and if you don’t remove that thing it might come back to life and suck your brain anyway…” Riza said pointing to the zombie head still stuck in Sol’s head, “AAAAAH! Get it off! Get it off! Get it off!!!” The poor Sol cried.
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Well, what do you guys think??

Basher · Oct 26, 2008

Loved it.

Sol's life changing into his dream. It was perfect the way it was done.

BakaMattSu · Dec 8, 2008

b-tuvs said: ↑

Well, what do you guys think??
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I'd be interested to see you play the "girly" angle of Sol's dream up even more than you did. We're still very early into the story as an audience (5th Chapter) and may not yet have burned a solid impression of Yugi and Riza's personalities yet. I understand visuals might make all the difference, so ignore this suggestion if the images will visibly contrast enough to give a hint that "something isn't right here".

Another approach that could be interesting with the idea you've presented for 4.5 & 5 would be to set up the two chapters as parallels. Have two school days play out one after the other, with a nearly identical set of events - the first being a typical day and the second being Sol's dream. This would give the readers a very clear contrast to the events, and much more plainly present Riza and Yugi's characters.

Still very much looking forward to seeing the finished form!

If you don't mind me asking, are there any particular works that have influenced the characters? I'm currently envisioning a lot of Haruhi Suzumiya in my mind's eye version of Riza.

Sorta Off-topic: Just noticed a few broken links on your navigation over at the Saber Site. You might want to verify "Links", "Banners", and "Webmaster" the next time you're making an update.

b-tuvs · Dec 20, 2008

Yup, I'm kinda thinking of twisting the story up a bit, and with that I thought of making an alternate Riza and Yugi for Sol As you can see, Riza is kinda cold when it comes to romantic stuff and she doesn't seem to be at least interested in mushy things, she only seems to enjoy mutilating and hunting down zombies. Her personality ended up like that because ever since she was a child she has always been around dead people (because their family business is a funeral parlor >_<).

As for the Plots 4.5 & 5, the idea of making both chapters parallel is a great idea, I have already made additional lines on the plots and I hope to start work with this project right away.

As for Riza's personality... I could say Reiko Mikami of "Ghost Sweeper Mikami" influenced her character greatly. I just thought of making the main girl character immune to all lovey-dovey stuff concerning the main guy character, thus making Riza a pretty cold person towards Sol's romantic approaches. The character Yugi was not in the preliminary drafts, I thought of adding her to give a rather twisted love comedy touch into the story. Since Sol's love life with Riza is hopeless, I thought of giving him a lover, but she turns out to be something that he would really don't want to be with Yugi has a great personality, you could say she's a perfect girlfriend, only thing is she's already a zombie >_<

For the Saber Site... Well... Work on it is painstakingly slow, because of work and stuff. But I plan to put up those pages one by one. Right now I'm still working on the "Virtual LIME" chat bot and she's pretty much a handful >< I will update you guys with that. I have also added the SM-Girls SMJ manga preview for those who are not able to see the manga version.

Basher · Dec 20, 2008

Hey btuvs. Been a while. I am waiting patiently for updates.

I love Riza's personality. I can see times when Sol tries to be romantic and ends up falling flat on his face. As the expression goes.

b-tuvs · Jan 12, 2009

Riza's Draft 7th chapter - Sol Runs Away

Heh... Work has not been so forgiving these past months... I'm tired and I wanna take a load off. That would be a great idea, but I CAN'T!!! Not with this economic crisis and everything Sheesh... What's the world coming to!? Oh, yeah... I'm not here to rant about that (hehe... Sorry about that :sweat: ).

What I'm saying is that inspiration is on all time low... But yesterday, I suddenly had this thought running through my head. I have written a piece for Riza’s parlor and I think its very interesting (Tho I think it still needs a little work). It’s about Sol running away and going on a solo trip to find his purpose (or maybe just an ego trip of some sort). During this trip he finds out that it is a lot more difficult for him on his own, and on the other hand, Riza also discovers that Sol is an irreplaceable companion. The story goes like this…

Sol in search for himself went off on a long journey into a far away town.

“Sol-kun ~*” A sweet voice of a girl is heard out side the window as if she is calling out to her beloved, but all the lovey-dovey atmosphere changed when Riza popped her head out from the window. “Oh it’s you Riza-kun” an older lady uttered, “Obaa-san where is Sol-kun?” Riza asked, “Ah, he went off some where, but he left you a note” the lady handed out a folded piece of paper to Riza. “My Dear Riza, if you are reading this note I’m probably miles away by now. I have gone to the far reaches of town to search for myself, right now I can not bear to stand being with you on your daunting quest to mutilate undead corpses, especially with miss dead girl… I just can not take it any more! I endured a lot for you, I swallowed my pride and fear just to be with you, I even developed feelings for you, and I was hoping maybe one day you will see me as a man, but… It seems hopeless. Farewell my dear friend, maybe someday I will return as a man and be the one you would really want to be with… ~Sol” as Riza closes the note, a tear drop tickled from her eye, “Ow! Something got in to my eye…” As she rubs off her eye removing the irritant, she blurted, “That idiot went off somewhere without telling me! Now who will be my zombie radar?” Riza crossed her arms as she thinks of a way to replace Sol. Back at the parlor Yugi meets Riza, “Where is Sol-kun?” Yugi asked, “He’s gone…” she replied with an irritated look, “What!? Where could he have gone to? Oh dear we got to look for him!” Yugi exclaimed, “There’s no use looking for an idiot who ran away in search for his brain, might as well get to our job tonight without him.” Riza retorted. That evening, we see a good looking guy all dressed up trying to flirt with Riza, “Oh my! The moon sure is lovely tonight, but it’s not as lovely as you are Riza-san,” “Huh? Oh, yeah…” Riza replied coldly. “I had been waiting for a long time for you to reply to my proposal and now I know why you did not reply so quickly, I never knew you were the shy type. Though I thought it will only be the two of us tonight, but it’s alright if you bring your chaperone with you and such a cute one too! So miss, how about you come closer so I can gaze upon your beauty as well” The guy continued yapping, “Uh… Please don’t mind me…” Yugi replied. “We’re here!” Riza retorted, “Oh my! Such a quiet place, could it be that you’re… Oh Riza-san I never thought you’re so bold enough…” The guy continued yapping, “Yugi-chan hand me the tools” she exclaim “right!” Yugi replied. “Uhh… Riza-san… What’s all this?” the pretty boy asked curiously, “Can’t you see? It’s a zombie hunting kit” she replied while assembling her contraption, “Ummm… What for, I thought we were going out to have fun?” The guy asked worriedly, “This is how I have fun, are you ready Yugi-chan!?” Riza retorted, “Hai!” Yugi replied, “Then let’s go!” Riza revs up her zombie hacking tool. RRRRRRRR! As they fire up their tools a spine chilling sound is heard echoing all around, then suddenly, zombies came out one by one, “Wha… WHAT IS ALL THIS!?” the guy blurted, “Can’t you see they are zombies!? You can go all out now.” Riza replied, “Are you nuts!? Is this some kind of a sick joke!?” “Oh! It’s no joke mister pretty boy; we do this for a living.” Yugi said. The guy was really freaking out, “You people are crazy!!! AAAAHHH! MOMMYYYY!!!” the guy went rushing into the night. “Wait! We’re not… Shoot he’s gone!” Riza tried to stop the poor guy, irritated she shouted “COWARD!!! A low life like you is not fit to be my assistant!!” “Ah… Riza-san I think we should start working now…” Yugi intruded while pointing at the zombies clamoring toward them. “Heh, even without that fool we can still take down these walking pile of rotting flesh. HIYAAAAA!!” RRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!! The loud roars of the mutilated zombies echoed through out the night… “SOL, YOU IDIOT!!! WHERE DID YOU RAN OFF TO!!!?”
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I am still developing the part for Sol, both stories run in parallel to each other, while Riza and Yugi are having a tough time hunting Zombies without Sol, meanwhile, Sol is not doing so hot on his ego trip as well. I'm thinking of a scenario where Sol gets caught in a very weird situation that he would wish even Yugi is there to help him.

BakaMattSu · Jan 12, 2009

Sorry to hear of your dampering inspiration. Please don't lose heart - your fans are rooting for you!

A very interesting story concept, and a definite focal point in the development of both Riza and Sol's characters!

Possible situations for Sol's portion of the story:

1) He's always had an affinity to the undead. This is something hinted at early on in your drafts with regards to his grandfather, and mentioned directly here as Riza mentions he is their "zombie radar". Perhaps his time spent filling that purpose has only served to heighten his affinity to the point where he's progressed past the point of being a radar, but is actually now a magnet. His goal of soul searching becomes unattainable as no matter where he goes, he can't escape being accosted by the undead.

2) A variation of the above, this time with Sol stumbling into a complete ghost town - but without realizing all the inhabitants are dead. It might start off as everything he'd hoped for, with a rewarding (albeit relaxing) lifestyle, and even a local girl who has feelings for him. When he snaps to his senses, this possessive spirit (the aforementioned local girl) is not very willing to let him go.

3) Sol finds himself bored and missing the zombie hunts, something he never would have imagined possible.

Not very inspired, but it's all that comes to mind at the moment.

b-tuvs · Aug 27, 2009

Riza's Parlor 8th Draft "Part 1"

It's been quite a while since I posted anything here. Well, this is a follow up to what BM posted for Riza's Parlor. I have been wanting to make a proper draft of this part, but my ever changing work schedule kept me from working on it. On the last part, Sol ran off somewhere for soul searching and Riza seems terribly upset over it.

The plot is actually based on one of my rather disturbing dreams, I tried the best I could to portray the events on my dream in Sol's point of view with this plot. I often have recurring dreams about the dead coming back to life and this is one of them. I feel that this story could make a great manga, but sadly all my manga works are in hiatus

Here is the first part, I hope you guys like it!

Return from the Crypt.

Sol ran away in search for his soul.

Riza and Yugi had just came back home from their night job, but Riza seemed upset. “Jeeze! That idiot! There’s no point looking for a brain that he never had in the first place!” she grumbled, “I noticed Sol-kun was a bit down lately, maybe he needed some time off” Yugi uttered. “Whatever, he better get back soon or else we’ll be in a fix, we don’t have a zombie radar. I’m going to wash up and go to bed” Riza grumbled as she treads the stairs going up to her room. As Yugi puts away their tools, she steps into a nearby window and stared up at the moon, “I wonder if that is only how Riza-san sees Sol-kun…”

The next day, in a sleepy town far up north, Sol decided to spend a whole week to take a breather. “Ahh.. This place seems peaceful and quiet, no sign of cemeteries anywhere and the people here seem very lively and ALIVE! I think I’ll like it here” Sol happily uttered as he walks toward a nearby inn. “I’m sorry sir, we are not accepting guests at this time of the season, please try the other inns” an inn attendant exclaimed, “What kind of an inn is this? You’re telling me that you are having a holiday off?” Sol complained, “I’m really sorry sir, but this time of the season is no good for us as well” the attendant added. After scouring the whole town all day looking for a place to stay Sol is almost about to give up, “What a weird town, no hotels or inns are accepting visitors in this time of the season, or maybe they meant year!? I don’t recall any special holidays being held this time of the year!” Sol loudly blurted. Along the way he sees a girl scurrying carrying groceries, “She’s in a big hurry…” Sol thought, “Kyaa!” the girl cried as she tripped, “Oh dear, my groceries are all over the road…” the girl mumbled as she picks up the scattered groceries. “Here let me help you” Sol uttered as he helps pick up the lot. “Oh thank you mister, say, you’re not from around here, are you?” the girl inquired. “Nope, I just got here and I’m looking for a place to stay.” he replied, “You know, not many visitors come here during this time of the season” the girl said “By the way, I’m Mai, you say you are looking for a place to stay? We’ll you’re in luck, my family happens to run a small inn near the edge of town, you can stay there if you like.” The girl continued. “Oh thank you, you’re a life saver. My name is Sol, I’m very glad to meet you Mai!” After the introductions Mai asked Sol to help her bring the groceries to her ancestor’s house. “It’s over here!” Mai called out to Sol, “This is your ancestor’s house!?” Sol exclaimed as his jaw nearly dropped to the ground, “it’s huge!!!” he continued. “Yep, and all six generations of my family lived here” Mai said, “right now my parents are on a business trip and all the maids are busy preparing, so please feel at home” Mai utters while she points Sol toward a chair. “Please wait here while I put these away.” Mai said as she left, Sol looks around and sees a very huge room with a huge bed placed in the middle. “What a huge room, why is there a bed here? They are probably moving furniture” Sol thought to himself. “Sorry for the wait!” Mai cheerfully uttered, “The inn is on the front side of our property, nobody is tending to it today because all the employees are on holiday off. You can stay here free of charge!” Mai said, “Oh no, I possibly can’t…” Sol shyly replies, “It’s my thanks to you for helping me.” Mai said as she smiles, “What a charming girl, the complete opposite of somebody I know” Sol thought. “Well, you should stay on a room on the third floor it’s much safer there, before you retire for the night make sure you double, triple lock the doors and windows.” Mai said, “why so many locks? Are there burglars here?” Sol inquired, “Ah no… It’s just that something might come in and get you that’s all” Mai hesitantly replied. “Oh, by the way, I noticed a huge bed in your living room, are you redecorating your house?” Sol asked curiously, “Oh that… Well, you may have noticed that there isn’t a cemetery around town.” Mai said, “Yes I noticed that” Sol replied. “That isn’t a bed…” Mai uttered. “It’s not a bed!? But it sure does look like one huge bed to me.” Sol queried while making a weird expression. “It’s actually an above ground tomb disguised as a bed” Mai replied crossing her arms, “What!?” Sol jolted, “You mean to say that you’re keeping your dead inside your house!?” Sol exclaimed. “It has been the tradition of the people of this town to bury their dead in the vicinity of their property, and since there isn’t much space outside the yards, they just bury them inside the houses disguising the tombs as furniture.” Mai explains, “The people of your town are crazy!” Sol blurted, “Don’t tell me that inside the inn, there is also…” he continued, but was suddenly interrupted by Mai “No, our inn has no grave in it, unlike the other inns. My ancestral house is big enough to accommodate all the bodies of my dead relatives,” “Hiiiii!” Sol squealed. “Sol-san, as you may have realized that not many people are out on the streets tonight…” Mai said to Sol with a stern look, “Ye… Yeah, now that you mentioned it, everybody seems to be in a hurry to go somewhere and many houses are bolted shut. Is there a terrible storm coming?” Sol replied. “Not really…” Mai uttered with a worried look, as she was about to speak she noticed the clock behind Sol, “Oh no! It’s that late already!?” She blurted. “I have to hurry, remember Sol-san, double, triple lock every opening, your doors and windows and whatever you do or whatever you hear, do not go outside!!!” Mai retorted as she hurried out the door. Sol was in a mix of emotions as he scurries to find windows and doors, double checking the locks, “What’s wrong with this town? Everybody seems to be acting really weird…” he thought. After checking all the locks, Sol returns to his room on the third floor. As he lay down on the bed he kept wondering and thinking what was about to happen in the town he is in, a few hours have passed. “I can’t sleep at all, I feel something really awful is going to happen in this town tonight.” Sol sits up trying to figure out what might happen and as he sat up on the bedside he caught a glimpse of the moon through the heavily grated window of his room. He stood up and went closer to take a good look and thought “all the windows have thick gratings, I bet they have tough burglars in this town…” he shifts his glance toward the streets below and notices that there was not a soul in sight, not even stray animals, an eerie silence blankets the whole surroundings which gave him an even more unsettling feeling. “It’s so quiet… Too quiet…” he thought, and then suddenly “WHOOOOOOHHH…” he hears the spine chilling moaning sound of the wind, a sound which he had never heard before, it was as if the wind was wailing of an incoming danger. Sol shuddered from the terrifying sound, “I’ve never heard this kind of noise from the wind before, what the hell is going on!?” He was taken aback when he noticed shadows streaking out of nowhere passing through every house, silhouettes seem to form on the walls under the moonlight. Sol was dumbfounded with the phenomenon unfolding right in front of his eyes “What the hell…!?” he uttered as his whole body shivered in fear, “I swear there are no people on the streets and yet there are shadows!” Sol cringed in terror as he hears a very familiar sound “OOOOOOOOHHH…” “Oh you got to be kidding me!?” he blurted. He was about to freak out when he heard a shriek coming from outside “KYAAA!” he looks out and sees Mai out in the open. “What is she doing out side!? Does she know that there are zombies roaming around!?” Sol wanted to run to Mai’s aide, but his body was already petrified with fear. “I… I want to help her b… but… M.. m… my body won’t move!” He utters as he desperately tries to move his limbs. “Damn it! Why does this thing always happen to me!!!?” Sol’s cry of desperation echoed outside his room.

- End of part One -
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BakaMattSu · Aug 27, 2009

Keeping your dead relatives in indoor graves designed as furniture? Now that's original.

Poor Sol, no matter where he goes, he runs into the undead.

Great to see more Riza material from you tuvs - still a fan, and still hungry to see more development of it.

b-tuvs · Sep 6, 2009

Hello! I'm back with a new chapter plot, I was just thinking about random stuff earlier today (09-06-09) when a sudden burst of idea struck me, and thus Riza's Parlor 10th draft was composed. So far I only have 9 1/2 key plots for the RP series I'm writing, if I'm planning to make this into a full length manga serial I have to write more than that

This plot is about Sol and Riza's history and how they met. The story starts with Sol narrating the whole ordeal and the story goes:

How it all began…

Narration by Sol “Hi, my name is Sol. I am your typical, ordinary guy, so ordinary in fact that I disappear on the background, I don’t get much attention from people, especially the opposite gender. Girls don’t seem to notice my existence at all, except for one particular girl. Her name is Riza, she’s my childhood friend, we have known each other since kindergarten, I was a shy kid at school and I always end up separated from my classmates. I was sitting alone in the far back end of the playground one day when a girl approached me.” Then the scene changes into a flashback at a local kindergarten school. “Hey are you alone?” a young girl asked, “yeah… Most kids don’t want to play with me…” young Sol answered. “That’s because you’re weird” the girl rudely replied, “we… Well yeah! You’re very weird yourself!” Sol angrily blurted, the girl laughed, “Hahahaha!!! You are weird!” “Sha… Shut up! It’s not fun to laugh at other people” Sol argued. “I’m not making fun of you, it’s just that you’re funny” the girl said as she holds herself from laughing, “Why aren’t you playing with the other girls? You’re one of them, why don’t you go play with them and stop bothering me” Sol moped, “Nah… I can’t get along with them anyway, maybe it’s because I am also weird like you…” the girl said as she sat beside Sol, “Wha! What are you doing!?” Sol jumped, “sitting beside you silly! You know, I kinda like you…” the girl said as she smiled. “isn’t it normal for girls to sit beside the boy they like?” she continued. The scene shifts back to modern day Sol “Aah… What sweet words from a cute young girl, right then I knew that she was my fated person. But my greatest mistake is that I didn’t realize that…” The scene changes again to the flashback “My name is Sol, what’s your name?” he asked, “I’m Riza, glad to meet you Sol!” she replied as she reaches out her hand to Sol. “say didn’t you know that there is a weird rat following you all over the school yard?” young Riza said as she points behind Sol, “No, oh, that. It’s not a rat, it’s our class’s pet hamster Mr. Chuppi, but he’s acting a bit weird though…” Sol replied as he holds his chin thinking. “If I’m not mistaken, that rat died three days ago right?” Riza uttered curiously. “Huh!? Mr. Chuppi is dead!? It can’t be! I always feed him and give him water, didn’t he just escaped from his cage three days ago?” Sol argued, “About that… Well… I was bored that day and I thought I’d play with the school rat and…” Riza innocently recalled the fateful demise of the class’s beloved pet hamster. “You’re lying! Mr. Chuppi can’t be dead! He’s here and he’s alive!” Sol blurted as he picks up the hamster, “Oh Mr. Chuppi you stink! Did you went inside the sewer? I know! I’ll just give you a nice bath” Sol said to the hamster as he carries it off to the toilet sink, “Aren’t you cold Mr. Chuppi? Your body feels a bit stiff, but don’t worry a nice warm bath is what you need.” Sol continued, “Like I said, it’s dead… I buried it myself!” Riza followed, “That’s silly, Riza-chan how can he be dead if he is moving” Sol muttered as he rinses the animal with warm water, as he was scrubbing the animal most of its hair began to fall off from its skin, “Oh Mr. Chuppi what’s happening to you!? You’re molting!” Sol gasped as he desperately tries to put back the animal’s fur, “Will you stop that, it’s dead! You’re just hastening the decomposition of it” Riza retorted. “Shut up, you don’t know how important Mr. Chuppi is to me, he is my only friend, of all the kids, he’s the only one who never laughed a t me and played with me” Sol stressed, “but that’s an animal…” Riza muttered, “You’re just jealous because I take more care of him!” Sol replied angrily, “Oh well… Suit yourself. Oh by the way, you better remove the maggot larvae from its eye, it’s sticking out and it’s kinda gross” Riza pointed, “Huh!?” Sol momentarily stopped.

“AAAAAAAAH!” The loud cry of a little boy was heard all through out the school.

The flashback fades back to Sol.
“And that is how I met Riza, from then on she stuck to me like glue showing me the undead animals that were following me.” Sol cried. “Hey Sol! What are you doing there spacing out! We got some zombies to mutilate, let’s go!” Riza shouted as she drags Sol away.
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Well, what do you guys think?

Chane · Sep 6, 2009

You often use present-tensed verbs after past-tensed ones.

b-tuvs · Sep 7, 2009

I'm truly very sorry for my horrible grammar. I'm not born English you see and to tell you guys honestly I almost flunked high school because of my bad English....

I'm more sorry than a drone beetle. Let me atone for my sin by cutting my stomach open. :sad:

They are just "rough drafts" and I tried to make sense of my jumbled thoughts by making it seem like a writeup. But those grammatical errors will be gone once they are converted to manga format. I just presented them here in RAW draft straight from my own journal, without the edits and the corrections. Now I know why writers never feature their rough works. Hehe

Sorry, about that. I think nobody would ever understand these if I put these up in my native language (the original form). So, there you go! Since I don't have the time to make a decent manga, or edits with my drafts I leave them as they are.

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