Creative Writing Basher Poetry [Updated 9-23-05]

Discussion in 'Written Arts' started by Basher, Sep 23, 2005.

  1. Basher

    Basher Mad Writing Skillz

    Mar 21, 2003
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    Basher's Poetry

    Here is a poem I had fun with. It was in color but hopefully you can still see it. Plus you need to read it by line ignore the * until later.

    All the Men Rated PG.

    All the men
    That lie, cheat
    And steal. Will ****************Meet their fate with me behind
    The wheel. I will*************Take my 1995 ford taurus and run
    them over. My**************Tires will squeal and rubber will burn.
    They can not**************out run or hide. I will find them no matter
    What and****************at all costs. Until I finally got those bastards
    I will not***************rest. One by one they will all fall. I then will
    Climb out*************of my car and stand next to each one. I will spit and laugh in
    Their dead face for I am sick and tired of how they act. It has been said many times that
    You do deserve better then this. But finally someone has acted upon this. You may think
    That I am mad or a little bit crazy. But Basher knows the truth you will all agree with her.
    Those men, who lie, cheat, steal, and she will also add in those who hurt women and all
    Children have one fate and that is to become road kill. Wither it be by Basher’s car or a
    Fate by the hands of God at least those men die. You may not like this story or poem or
    Whatever I wrote. See this may see like a strange thing to do. But once you fully see the
    Truth you ****will get a better understanding to what is written. See what I have done is
    odd but***********Doing what I******************say. I would like
    All who************look at this********************take a small
    Step back************and have*********************a look-see.
  2. shinigami

    shinigami The Dark Prince

    Aug 8, 2005
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    an very good poem a differnet topic but it is interesting
  3. Yossarian

    Yossarian Yossarian Lives!

    Apr 19, 2003
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    Basher.. I am At a loss of words....

    Good work. i actually found it funny.
  4. Basher

    Basher Mad Writing Skillz

    Mar 21, 2003
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    I look to you and see someone I once knew.
    But you have changed too much; you are a stranger to me.
    It is not your looks that have changed for they have remained the same.
    It is the inside you.
    You used to be someone I could go to when I needed help.
    Wither it was for advice or financially you were always there.
    I tried to help you as much as I could but I can’t anymore.
    I just don’t know you.
    Anytime I felt like the world was too much.
    You were always there
    What happened to you? The ear I could cry into over the phone.
    It is as if I never knew you for you have changed too much.
    You would give me advice when I would swear that I never needed it
    Each time you spoke I listened hard for any wisdom you may have held
    I put you upon a pedestal for I valued you so most.
    But now it is all gone. It seams forever lost.
    We had our differences as many people do.
    No matter what we knew that we loved each other.
    But now I just don’t know who you are anymore.
    I have no clue what to do or how to help you.
    You still understand but I don’t understand you.
    It isn’t just me that has seen you change.
    You are a stranger and I don’t want you to be one.
    I want you back the way you used to be.
    Have I done anything wrong?
    Is there something that I can do?
    Please go back to the way you once were.
    Daddy please don’t be a stranger anymore.

    This is a little different that is all I can say.
  5. wertitis

    wertitis Proud Mary keep on burnin'

    Oct 18, 2004
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    Whoa there. The poem didn't strike me as much more than a loosely compiled letter about a heartfelt, angsty relationship falling apart... until the last line. Funny how the whole thing suddenly seemed to tie itself together. Good job plugging the catch at the very end.

    Well done.

    1 person likes this.
  6. Basher

    Basher Mad Writing Skillz

    Mar 21, 2003
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    Say Goodbye

    The air held no remorse
    Its stale breath strangled us
    Clouds encased our eyes
    Tears like rain down poured
    We sat together
    In our clan
    Waiting for news
    Hoping for something
    But nothing good came our way
    Comforting each other is all we had left
    But it still was not enough
    We yearned for the truth
    To know the unknown
    He came out taking away our wait
    Our hearts collapsed
    We were lucky he said
    We had a chance to “say goodbye.”
  7. Ashika

    Ashika This thing is so short...

    Feb 5, 2005
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    Fist Poem: I liked it, and it was funny. Different writing style though.

    Ill steal Wertitis's answer on that, if he doesn't mind.

    Third: Touched me emotionly, it tied up some of the feelings in my life right now.
  8. Chane

    Chane Audience of One

    Nov 28, 2005
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    Okay, just for the record, that first one scared the living bejeezus out of me, like some kind of crazy-stalker-murdering-woman in a Lifetime movie or something. x_x Love the format though, I always liked those kinds of poems. The last two are surprisingly touching for someone like me who likes to think that he's an apathetic tough guy (psh, yeah right). Anyways, they're all nice... keep writing and stop scaring me. :(
  9. Peachy

    Peachy ☆liberal HMod☮

    Mar 29, 2005
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    Like Noodle said, i'm at loss of words. Do teach me the ways of your writing Basher! *bows* The first one I can't believe I never read before. I had to reread it three times. lol. Sweet, second one was long and awesome. I loved it. The third one shocked me a little, but touched me. It was different from your other poems! You rulez.
  10. Basher

    Basher Mad Writing Skillz

    Mar 21, 2003
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    Until you’re gone

    Every time I talk to you
    There are things I can’t say
    Words I don’t dare to speak
    I can’t believe
    That soon you will be gone

    I don’t want to lose you
    I know you can’t control it
    But I can’t accept the truth
    That soon you will be gone

    I need to realize
    That you won’t live forever
    You tell us
    Soon I will be gone

    No one can face the truth
    We just can’t believe
    When you say
    I am dying

    Now I understand
    You need us
    More then anything
    We needed to be strong
    For soon you could be gone

    I say could now
    Because unfortunately I am young
    I don't believe
    That soon you will be gone

    I will be the strength you need
    I will assist you
    I will not let you go quietly

    No matter what
    I do love you
    But you will stand up
    You will fight this
    You will not leave

    If there is a chance
    Together, we will take it
    You are no longer alone
    Forgive me for being late
    I just can't accept you being gone
    1 person likes this.
  11. Chance

    Chance Admitted Pokemon Fan.

    Jul 28, 2004
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    It was something simple that just seemed to exude the right feeling. I'd bewrong to say it was sad..But right. I don't know what to say. What I do know is, you did an amazing job Basher.
  12. wertitis

    wertitis Proud Mary keep on burnin'

    Oct 18, 2004
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    Not bad though it seems to miss the 'flavor', or the zing, of some of your previous works. Seems very personal, so I won't be too critical. I know how it can be sometimes.

    Rather, nice work. I like the form and it flows pretty good.

  13. Basher

    Basher Mad Writing Skillz

    Mar 21, 2003
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    Okay now that I have taken a college course need some input on writing. Pretty much because we have to edit it... I figured more would help really. Plus I have known everyone for so long I respect your opinions.

    Here are the 5 i submitted. But only going over 3 in class. (First 3)

    5 haiku
    Locked inside
    Hidden from the cold
    Awaiting the warmth
    The New Year brings

    Emerging from their homes
    Breathing in the day
    Seeing world with new life

    Fresh cut blades of grass
    Mixing in with the flowers
    Brings the summer days

    Walking in clammy sand
    Wave on wave washing in, out
    Lapping my feet

    Bright reds, oranges, and yellows
    Fall to the ground
    Color as fire

    Closed Door
    A door appeared
    You opened it
    And on its hinges it swayed
    Rocking back and forth
    With every swing
    It got smaller and smaller
    Only needing two days
    Until it reached
    Its place in the frame
    Locking in place
    Finally from what was said
    The heart sealed forever
    It could take no more

    Cello Garden
    The case is the dirt
    Inside shields and protects the seed
    With every stroke upon the fine line
    The flowers grow
    They sing as if given song
    Bursting from the ground in waves
    Their colors arranged like melody
    Every strum brings on a new wave
    Until the garden becomes full
    The music recedes
    The gardener finished

    How do I become one of billions?
    With my score etched on history’s grave
    A name lasting an eternity.

    Do I create a short story?
    Like a beating heart
    Or the greatest of expectations
    Add in a tiger

    Maybe poetry?
    Quoting a flighty bird
    Or talking to a captain
    Even take a different path

    Something to attract attention?

    Do I stray?
    With positively terrible deeds
    Blood resting on hands

    What is left?
    Only on a family tree
    In time it disintegrates
    How do I become not forgotten?

    Tilt back head feel the patter
    Droplets falling from the sky
    Washing the face
    Of all passersby
    Chill in the air
    On this April morn
    As droplets seep into the earth
    Giving birth to new blades of grass

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