Blast from my freakin' past

So here I am, back at Manga 2 Anime...or is it BJP...whatever. I'm showing my age. You know I got into this anime stuff almost ten years ago now? Holy crap.

Well, I'm engaged. How about that. Looking over the few short journal entries that I had you'd a never thunk it would be like that but here I am. Got her a ring and everything. She's great, she's far too good for me. But still, I'm kinda sad. I don't know why. I try so hard to snap myself out of it, I know this stuff is a decision on my part but still. I hate how it hurts her to see me so down but I don't know how to not be that way sometimes. Its scary being engaged like we are. Especially with all we're going through of a long distance relationship. She's still in college and I'm living four hours away. We see each other when we can and all but its really really hard. Its like I spend so much of my time shutting off my heart and my passion for her that when we're together its hard to turn on.

I dunno.

Just wish me luck. As always I need it.

But shes a great kid and we can make it through anything. I just have to have a little faith.