Saber Marionette Christmas...."Cheer"?

WAI!! *glomps Matt* That was lovely!!! Thank you!!

Merry Christmas to all from SFPCAHM!!!

~ Lady Aoi: Can I put that on me peijj?

 

awwwwwwwwwwwwww, Kawaii!

Hanagata has a new special item

 

Well, as much as I pride myself on being the original Ebismaru Scrooge (my favourite pun as of late, even if most of my friends all think I'm even weirder for it), I have to say that was great.
Speaking from one of my few areas of expertise, that was a great work, and Nat King Cole should be resurrected somehow to sing that and add it to his The Christmas Song album, alongside Adeste Fidele and the like.

By the by, I didn't mean Christmas carols as the area of expertise, so don't get confused.

------------------
Loneliness is a slow-acting but lethal poison.
It's time to find the cure.

 

Note: The following carol is rated pg and is about as toned down as I can get ^^;;.


<b>Hana The Next-Door Neighbor</b>
~ Sung to the tune of "Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reigndeer by Yumeji and Field Marshal Goddel, who are cranky about being underrepresented in fan fiction and have presumably spiked their egg nog with sake after watching National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation and/or Strange Brew one too many times...~

Goddel: Hana the Next-Door Neighbor
(Yumeji: Neighbor!)
Goddel: Had an Otaru ob-se-ss-ion
(Yumeji: He was horny!)
Goddel: And when Mamiya saw him
(Yumeji: (immitating Otaru) Oh God...)
Goddel: He would turn around and run
(Yumeji: (immitating Otaru) "Save me, Cherry!")

Goddel: All of Mamiya's sabers
(Yumeji: fruit girls!)
Goddel: Used to beat him really bad
(Yumeji: (immitating Hanagata) Not the face, girls!!)
Goddel: And that always made poor Hana
(Yumeji: Wah wah!!)
Goddel: Cry a lot and feel real bad!
(Yumeji: (again with the Hanagata) I'll show them all!)

(Goddel then thinks he's seen a brontosaurus hiding under the table and stops singing to point it out to Yumeji. Yumeji, meanwhile gets a little lost and begins a round of "Kyle's Mom's a B****, forgetting that today is Wednesday and he isn't due at the South Park studio to audition for the part of Pip until Friday. Eventually, Goddel hits his head on the table and falls face down on the tiled floor, where he proceeds to laugh for ten minutes straight about his pathetic life, Gartlant's military weapons ("Th--the tanks look like c--c--crabs! AHAHAHAHAAHHA!!"), and his unrequited love for President Joy. Eventually both he and Yumeji remember themselves, sit up, take another swig of egg nog... then another... and another... and another... and then continue singing)

Yumeji: Then one foggy Christmas eve,
Hana spiked the punch.
(Goddel: With luuuve juice!)
Yumeji: (drunk Otaru on aphrodesiacs) Hana with your *hic* so bright,
Will you warm my bed tonight?
(Goddel: WHEEE!!)
Yumeji: Then how Otaru loved him
(Goddel: Hugged him!)
Yumeji: As he shouted out with glee.
(Goddel: YIPIEEE!)
Yumeji: Hana, my next door neighbor
(Goddel: Neighbor!)
Yumeji: I was so blind but now I seeee!
(Goddel: That you're as gorgeous as Joooooooy!!!)

Yumeji: ChAAAA!!

(Goddel and Yumeji stare at one another for a moment)

Yumeji: .... oooookay...
Goddel: ..... what am I doing in Japoness? And why is there a fish on my head?
Yumeji: ... you know, that was a sweet song. You really should so sing it for Joy-san and tell him how you feel.
Goddel: ... ^^;;; R--really?
(Yumeji nods gravely)
Yumeji; But go put on the reigndeer costume first, ok, Goddel?
Goddel: (genki) HAI!!!

(He manages to get into the reigndeer costume and then goes skipping out of the room trying to restructure the carol to sound something like "Hughlick the Hot New Texan/Had a Very Shiny Gun"...)

(Yumeji chuckles and sips his egg nog)

Yumeji: (angelic, looking at the camera) I just love helping people find their true love. (Evil Children of the Corn stare at camera for the next 15 seconds as lights fade.)

~ Lady Aoi: The following carol was in no way related to my blood alcohol level, which is currently zero.

 

General Goddel?! lmao...

Although I'm surprised that they don't say "eh" and "hoser" and "take off" after watching Strange Brew


That was good!

 

"These words frighten me"
-the wussilator

 

ROTFLMFFAO!!!!

Poor Panther and Luchs...

~ Lady Aoi:

 

A bit off topic,but this reminded me of a certain Monty Python Song:

Immanuel Kant was a real ****-ant
Who was very rarely stable.
Heideggar, Heideggar was a boozy beggar
Who could think you under the table.

David Hume could out-consume
Schoppenhauer and Hegel.
And Whittgenstein was a beery swine
Who was just as sloshed as Schlegel.

There's nothing Nieizsche couldn't teach 'ya
'Bout the raising of the wrist.
Socrates, himself, was permanently ****ed.

John Stewart Mill, of his own free will
On half a pint of shanty was particularly ill.
Plato they say could stick it away,
Half a crate of whiskey every day.

Aristotle, Aristotle was a bugger for the bottle,
And Hobbes was fond of his dram.
And Rene Descartes was a drunken fart.
"I drink, therefore I am."

Yes, Socrates himself is particularly missed;
A lovely little thinker, but a bugger when he's ****ed.

InuYasha - Questing for the Holy Grail

 

*explodes from laughter*

I feel sorry for Luchs and Panther though but I'll feel even more sorry for Tiger when they beat her up

---------------
I can't wait to see Lady Aoi's next song she puts up

[This message has been edited by That guy! (edited 12-14-2001).]

 

Brilliant as always, Master BakaMattSu!

------------------
Loneliness is a slow-acting but lethal poison.
It's time to find the cure.

 

;;;;;

Ne, Matt? Are you a mind reader? I was writing one about Goddel to this tune as well!! *dies*

~ Lady Aoi: Apparently thinks like Baka

 

Matt, if this is what you had in mind I truly apologize...

OK Warnings to everyone: This is long, i had to do a silly scene first and it has a teeeny bit of shounen-ai (nothing too mind blowing and it's all in good fun. If you dont wanna read the story first, just skip to the title in CAPS).

(Before Lady Aoi can begin her song, however, the door slams open revealing a very piffed-off ((in yo' FACE, censor ^^)) General Goddel, covered with bruises, cuts, and a very black eye)

Goddel: NOW JUST A MINUTE, HERE!!!!

Lady A: *sweat dropping* Goddel-san? What the hell happened to you?

Goddel: (angry) Didn't you read the last carol?

Lady A: Oh...

Goddel: I've just about had it with all the $@%^ happening on this board!

Lady A: Uh... and that would be...?

Goddel; THAT'S RIGHT JUST PRETEND YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT!!! *jabs a finger at Lady Aoi* Ohhh, things began nicely enough with that Hanagata piece, but then what did you and that Baka-fellow do?

Lady A: Well, we are going to translate the Saber Marionette manga and put it up on the following url: www. --

GODDEL: SILENCE!! You know _VERY_ Well what I'm talking about! First there was that insulting piece supposedly sung by myself and a certain gap-toothed youngster which scandalously implied, among other things, that I was in love with that moron Joy Hughlick.

Lady A: *winces as Joy's last name conjures up bad OKLAHOMA! memories* What's the matter, Goddy-chan? Lover's quarrel?

Goddel: (turns bright red, then) CUT THAT OUT!! YOU KNOW DARNED WELL WHAT I MEAN, YOU!! And then there was that equally insulting and insipid piece done by your Turnip friend which implied among other things, that I am an old and ugly fart.

Lady A: .... uh, not gonna comment on that one.

Goddel: D'OHHH!!! *growls* Now, I must insist that these libellous carols be put to rest or --

Hanagata: Or what?

(Goddel turns around to see Hanagata and Otaru exiting a nearby tavern, walking hand in hand)

Lady A: *sweatdropping at the sight* Uh...hi boys. Awww, how kawaiiii!!! *gets the sudden urge to run off and write a shounen-ai fan fic and does so*

Goddel: Heh. Good riddance to loud rubbish. Oi, Otaru! Do you know who's hand you're holding?

Otaru: *drunk* ..... (stares at Hanagata for a moment before saying decisively) uh...... Cheerbear?

Hanagata: (smiles and hugs him) That's right, Otaru-kuuuuuun. Now poke my stomach.

(Otaru does so. Hanagata giggles like the Pillsbury Doughboy)

Hanagata: Merry Christmas, darling.

Otaru: I can't feel my nose.

Goddel: Oh, please! You're even more revolting than those awful carols!

Hanagata: Actually, about those ... um... Otaru-kun and I have been sent here to well... kind of make ammends for that.

Goddel: .... (suspicious) Really?

(Hanagata claps him on the shoulder)

Hanagata: Of course, Goddel-san!! After all, in the name of Christmas Cheer and (glances at Otaru) Eternal Love.

Otaru: Raimu?

Hanagata: (patting his head) I'll be whatever you want me to be, my little "Osho Japonessuuuuuu". (back to Goddel) Anyway, in the name of Christmas and love, Otaru-kun and myself have decided to make ammends by singing a nice carol about you.

Goddel: (throwing his hand off his shoulder) I don't believe you! (beat) Really?

Hanagata: Yes, really. And here to help us sing it is the entire Saber Marionette Cast!

(Bloodberry, Faust, Lime, Cherry, Tiger, Luchs, Panther, Hess, Yang Ming, Fan Fan, Koyuki, Soemon, Hikozaemon, Iyesu, Lorelei, Ponta-kun, et all march out from behind a nearby building all grinning at Goddel)

Goddel: (skeptical) Where's Yumeji?

Cast: He's at home with a tummy ache!

Goddel: Humph! (turns his back on everyone)

Hanagata: Oh come on, Goddel!! If you won't do it for us then will you do it for him?

(Joy enters)

Goddel: (blush) J--joy?

Joy: YEEHAW!!! Merry Christmas, Goddy!

Goddel: (blush) J--joy.... (happy sparkly shoujo eyes. then) Ok, ok... sing the song...

Hanagata: Yays!!! (hops up and down, clapping his hands) Alright, everyone... a five -six-seven eight...

FIELD MARSHALL GODDEL (SUNG TO THE TUNE OF "FROSTY THE SNOWMAN")

Cast: Field Marshall Goddel was a Handsome General.

Goddel: Awww, g'wan! (blushes)

Cast: With a pencil 'stache,
And blonde curly locks
A butt stuck with a pole...

Goddel: Thank y-- what?! (glares)

Cast: Field Marshall Goddel
Ain't a real important chap.
He's as dumb as ****

Faust: True enough...

Cast: So you see he'd fit
Perfectly with Joy's loud trap.

Joy: Wait, you didn't say anything about bashing m--

Cast: Kami sure forgot Goddel
Much to his chagrin and strife
For when Goddel appears on the scene
It's in a stupid Krabbensteiff.

Goddel: You lying piece of -- (lunges for Hanagata, but Faust restrains him)

Faust: No, Goddel. You deserve this. You realy realy do.

Cast: Ohh, Field Marshall Goddel
Doesn't quite get strategy...
And what's really sad
And what makes him mad
Is he's worse than Yumeji...

(Goddel tries to get out of Faust's grip to strangle people but the dictator restrains him quite well enough with a knee to the groin)

Goddel: Nghh... (turns blue)

Faust: He can't even tame Saberdolls
Tiger, Luchs and Panther: But we're yours, Faust-sama!
Faust: And when you pull his nose just right, you'll hear him whimper --

(he pulls his nose)

Goddel: Mama!! (he struggles out of Faust's grip and runs off)

Cast: Oh, Field Marshall Goddel
Has to Hurry on his way
But he says --

Goddel: Good-BYE, and Matt, Lady, I
Hope you both die in much pain...

(as Goddel runs off, Yumeji appears on the scene, holding his teddy bear. He watches him run)

Yumeji: Thumpety-thump-thump
Thumpety-thump-thump
Look at Goddel go!

Thumpety-thump-thump
Thumpety-thump-thump
Over the fields of snow...

Hm...snow...

(his eyes gleam evily as he scoops up a handfull of snow, turns it into a ball and pegs it ag the back of Goddel's head. It hits it's target and Goddel falls down on his face)

Goddel: Curse you! I'll be revenged on everyone, and your little bro too!!!

Yumeji: (looks at the camera) Goodnight everybody! (evil child of the corn stare for 15 seconds as lights fade)

~ The Verra Ende

~ Lady Aoi: Not High.


[This message has been edited by Lady Aoi (edited 12-22-2001).]

 

Ach! Now you're getting carried away! This thread should be called Warning! Obsessive People With Too Much Time And Too Little To Do!! Y'all're getting really ridiculous here, and in the worst way! This started off just as fun, but where in the name of all that is musical does it end? This is butchery! This is blasphemy! This is ... this is ... Well, I'll just do a little Don MacLean-style on my opinions of what you're doing to the classics ...

Here's one for you. To the tune of part of American Pie
"... And as I watched y'all on the stage
My hands were clenched in fists of rage
No angel born in Hell
Could break this f---ed up spell!
As the bad poems climbed high into the night
I just had to cry in fright
I saw BakaMattSu laughing with delight
The day the Christmas carols died

He was singing
Bye, bye, Miss Goodlyrics, bye
Tried to rhyme from my mind, but the reserve was dry
And Lady Aoi, who must have been high
Was saying doesn't it bring tears to your eyes?"

I could go on for the other eight minutes of that song about this kind of thing, and other examples from my past experience, but I'll cut this short, as you're probably just either not going to read this rant, ignore it, or argue my point ...
Anyhow, this Raving Madman/Obsessive Poet will shut up now.

 

Damn,Matt Beat me to the punch! Oh well,here's my version anyway...

Terra 2's Twelve Days of Christmas

On the 1st day of Christmas my true love gave to me: a funky pumpkin-topped tree.
Otaru: Uhh,could you run that by me again,guys?

On the 2nd day of Christmas my true love gave to me: two "Otaru-kuuuuuns"
Hanagata: Otaru-kun,we were destined to be together from the moment we met!

and a funky pumpkin-topped tree.
Otaru: It seems pretty tacky to me.

On the 3rd day of Christmas my true love gave to me: three Saber Dolls
Panther: Those who oppose Lord Faust must die!
Tiger: And how is that considered getting into the Christmas spirit,Panta?

two "Otaru-kuuuuuns"
Hanagata: Otaru-kun,*exaggerated pose* YOU ARE GRAVELY MISTAKEN!

and a funky pumpkin-topped tree.
Otaru: And when the pumpkin rots,this place will stink to high heaven...

On the 4th day of Christmas my true love gave to me: four hot springs ads
Bloodberry: Y'know,this would've been a lot easier if Lime and Cherry weren't around.

three Saber Dolls
Luchs: We've got the standard point/counterpoint thing going on.

two "Otaru-kuuuuuns"
Hanagata: You must forget these silly machines.

and a funky pumpkin-topped tree.
Otaru: I wonder if this is even accurate...

On the 5th day of Christmas my true love gave to me: five inventions
Gennai: Well,I am a genius,if I do say so myself.

four hot springs ads
Bloodberry: I could finally get Otaru alone with me...

three Saber Dolls
Luchs: Faust's "counterpoint" *giggles* to Mamiya's "point."
Tiger: What the hell are you talking about,Luchs?

two "Otaru-kuuuuuns"
Hanagata: Focus only on me!

and a funky pumpkin-topped tree.
Otaru: Oi,Iwadera,Kiyoshi,are you sure you researched this thing?

On the 6th day of Christmas my true love gave to me: six Lime tackles
Lime: Otaru,DAAAAA~I SUKI!

five inventions
Gennai: McGuyver,eat your heart out!

four hot springs ads
Bloodberry: And I would definately not invite Hana-ko along!

three Saber Dolls
Luchs: I wish our tailor acutally had a sense of fashion,though.
Panther: Yeah. He certainly has "odd" tastes.

two "Otaru-kuuuuuns"
Hanagata: For this sort of thing is best done man to man!

and a funky pumpkin-topped tree.
Iwadera: Otaru-san,I can assure you that we left no stone unturned in our quest for accurate information.

On the 7th day of Christmas my true love gave to me: seven "perfect plans"
Goeddel: I was always partial to the "Super Groovy Go Get Otaru Mamiya Plan."

six Lime tackles
Lime: Ne,ne,Otaru,what's "glomping?"

five inventions
Gennai: They work about as often as Miss Cleo's predictions.

four hot springs ads
Bloodberry: Even if Hana-ko is my favorite punching bag,he cannot be allowed to interfere!

three Saber Dolls
Tiger: WE ARE...THE SABER DOLLS!
Luchs: And don't you forget it!

two "Otaru-kuuuuuns"
Hanagata:Otaru-kun,let ME be your Santa Claus!

and a funky pumpkin-topped tree.
Kiyoshi: This is the New Texas tradition.

On the 8th day of Christmas my true love gave to me: eight Krabbensteifs
All of Japoness: A-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA! Look at the stupid crab mechs! A-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA!

seven "perfect plans"
Goeddel: If only the Saber Dolls hadn't fucked things up...

six Lime tackles
Lime: I can't help it if I'm super-genki! ^_~

five inventions
Gennai: I could've come up with something better than those stupid crabs.

four hot springs ads
Bloodberry: And then,when Otaru and I are alone...*giggles wickedly*

three Saber Dolls
Panther(to Goeddel): Hey! We did the best we could under the circumstances!

two "Otaru-kuuuuuns"
Hanagata: Sit on my lap,and I'll grant your every wish!

and a funky pumpkin-topped tree.
Otaru: You do realize that the New Texas tradition was based on the traditions of the United States of America on Old Earth,right?

On the 9th day of Christmas my true love gave to me: nine sake binges
Bloodberry: *hic* Y'know,thish ish my second favorite thing in the universe!
Panther: *hic* What's your firsht *hic* favorite thing?
Bloodberry: *hic* Guessh! *wicked grin*

eight Krabbensteifs
All of Japoness: *snicker* *snicker* GARTLANT HAS CRABS! *giggle* *snort* *guffaw*

seven "perfect plans"
Goeddel: But I would have to say that my most perfect plan was the one to capture Lorelei.
Yang Ming: But you didn't come up with that plan,did you? *smiles* *glasses flash*

six Lime tackles
Lime: I'm too cute to hate!

five inventions
Gennai: Not that the Salbelberg was much better...

four hot springs ads
Cherry: No wonder why it's your "first favorite thing in the universe!"

three Saber Dolls
Luchs: It is my conclusion that Goeddel is a self-absorbed idiot.
Tiger: No kidding.

two "Otaru-kuuuuuns"
*Bloodberry knocks Hanagata into orbit*
Hanagata: I'm not getting paid enough for this!

and a funky pumpkin-topped tree.
Kiyoshi: Eh,heh heh...Funny thing about that...

On the 10th day of Christmas my true love gave to me: ten female wet dreams
Cherry: Oh! Otaru-sama! We musn't! Oh! Ah! Oh!
Lime: Whacha doin' Cherry?
Cherry(embarrassed):N-None of your concern!

nine sake binges
Cherry: Maybe we ought to sign someone up for Alcoholics Anonymous,eh?
Bloodberry: *hic* dunno wha yer talkin' 'bout.

eight Krabbensteifs
Hess: *sighs* Well,we can't all be perfect.

seven "perfect plans"
Goeddel: Yang Ming,what are you doing here?
Yang Ming: None of your concern,old boy! *his glasses flash again*

six Lime tackles
Lime: Heh heh! *big goofy grin with "peace sign"*

five inventions
Hess: But I am the true genius inventor on this show.

four hot springs ads
Bloodberry(to Hess): Heh,a true genius would have some respect for the fourth wall!

three Saber Dolls
Panther: Hey,you stole my line!
Luchs: Weren't you two supposed to be drunk?

two "Otaru-kuuuuuns"
*a new Hanagata-sized hole in the ground is created when Hanagata lands*

and a funky pumpkin-topped tree.
Iwadera: Try as we might,we couldn't find anything on Old Earth...

On the 11th day of Christmas my true love gave to me: eleven yaoi fanfics
Hanagata: Ooh! Did someone say yaoi fanfics? Oh joy!

ten female wet dreams
Cherry: Oh,when will Otaru-sama and I get the chance to be alone?

nine sake binges
*Bloodberry and Panther have both passed out from all the sake they drank. Panther is snoring loudly.*

eight Krabbensteifs
Hess: They're nothing compared to the MESCALs.

seven "perfect plans"
Yang Ming: Goeddel,you do realize that you're nothing more than a pawn in my perfect plan,right?

six Lime tackles
Lime: Ne,ne,Bloodberry,why do you giggle wickedly when you mention your "favorite thing in the universe?" Is it something that I'd be interested in trying on Otaru?
Bloodberry: Lime,you're too young for this sort of thing.

five inventions
Gennai: What the hell does "MESCAL" stand for,anyway?
Hess: Something German that you wouldn't understand.

four hot springs ads
Bloodberry: Now where did I *hic* put them? Here,hotty hotty hotty hot springs ad!

three Saber Dolls
*The two sober Saber Dolls sweatdrop at Bloodberry's ramblings*

two "Otaru-kuuuuuns"
Hanagata: Damn,my HMO won't cover that!
Otaru: Hanagata,don't you know that HMOs try to weasel their way out of paying even one ryo?

and a funky pumpkin-topped tree.
*Otaru goes over to the nearest computer,and in ten seconds finds the relevant info that Iwadera and Kiyoshi couldn't find after ten days of searching.*

On the 12th day of Christmas my true love gave to me: twelve generations
Faust: Actually it took ten generations for someone to rescue Lorelei.
Lorelei: Only if we go by your standards.

eleven yaoi fanfics
President Joy: Did someone call me?
Hanagata: AAAACK!

ten female wet dreams
Cherry: What do you mean by calling them "wet dreams?" I'm not perverted like some people I know. *glares at Bloodberry*

nine sake binges
Lime: Heh heh,they fell asleep!

eight Krabbensteifs
Yang Ming: Let's pit the Krabbensteifs against the MESCALs and see who wins.
Hess: My money's on the MESCALs.
Goeddel: I'll bet on the Krabbensteifs.

seven "perfect plans"
Goeddel: After all,the Krabbensteifs are part of my perfect plan to take over the world!
Lime: Watch "Pinky and the Brain" much,do we?

six Lime tackles
*Lime glomps Otaru*
Lime: Otaru's mine!

five inventions
Gennai: Frankly,I'd put my money on the Japonessguar.
Yang Ming: I'm not the kind of person that would gamble,but in this case,I'll bet on the Mesopotamia. Fan-Fan,would you get us some more tea please?
Fan-Fan: Certainly.

four hot springs ads
Bloodberry(seizing an ad): I found you,my precious!
Cherry: Great,now she's sounding like a character from "The Lord of the Rings."

three Saber Dolls
Tiger: You wanna carry her,or shall I?
Luchs: I have a better idea. We both carry her.
*They proceed to drag the sleeping Panther back to their apartment in Japoness.*

two "Otaru-kuuuuuns"
Hanagata: B-b-b-b-but Ot-t-t-t-taru-kuuuuun! You couldn't possibly know what I've been through this entire song!

and a funky pumpkin-topped tree-ee-ee-ee.
*Iwadera and Kiyoshi look at the results of Otaru's search in chagrin.*
Kiyoshi: Aww,shit. Looks like we'll have to start over.

OWARI

InuYasha - just in the nick of time...