Creative Writing Hey guys, I need some feed back.

Alright for those of you who know me well, you know what I've gone through in the past year and for those who don't then just read this poem and tell me what you got out of it. Thanks.

Deep inside my pain awaits,
Awaiting the chance to overtake.
To overtake this fragile life,
And lead me closer to the knife.
Bringing it down upon my skin,
Forgetting all the pain I'm in.
As the stinging stops and bleeding slows,
Back again my pain it flows.
Doubled now and worse than before,
I fall crying to the floor.
The more it hurts the more I cry,
Until I'm wishing I could die.
Die and fly away from here,
To a place that knows no fear.
The safest haven I can find,
Where everyone around is kind.
Where no harm will come to me,
And I can finally just be free.

 

Mommy feels your pain hon'. I'm sorry all this is happening to you, and I wish I could take it all away..I can't though. I'll be here for you, just remember. Your "mom" recovered from this **** and you can too. It was a great poem though! I <3 your style beauty!

 

It is definitely a poem I won't complain about rhyming. Good Job.

 

Thanx guys. I know you can't make it go away mom and it is definately encouraging to know that someone else has gone through it too, but I think that I've just been really fortunate to find BJP and to meet people like you. So thanx again.

 

I really wish some times that I could just help you with problems like this but I can't in fact be around you to help and I don't think anyone would like to see a stranger helping them :sweat: But I'm at least here to listen and talk to you or anyone else about anything you want to say. I don't know the pain like you and Krisis have felt, so saying to just do stuff is easier said than done. But at least it could help in some way or another. If you or someone else needs help, just ask around for even a word or two.

It was a great poem and I hope you can write somemore after this.