i dont know.

So...
yeah im not sure why im posting this here... or anything really.

Lately... ive felt like my life has stagnated... Ive been freaking out the last like 5 days... im so unsure of everything but the fact that im going to enlist in the Marines soon. I would now but ive made a commitment to my best friend to get an apartment with him before i go anywhere, so he has a place to live and i have a place to come home to.

But... the last couple days have been bad... ive been so frustrated lately... with everything. Ive been single for three years now, ive been done with school for a year... been without a job for 6 months... thanks partially to the economy up here, and partially because im SUPPOSED to be moving soon but... everytime something comes up and pushes the move back... and that pushes back when i can enlist... and i dunno...

Theres one girl who... i really care about anymore... and she knows that... but... i dunno if she'll ever give me the love that im searching for...

ive become depressed... badly depressed... suicidally depressed as of late... im scared of the thoughts that i actually have... scared of what i might do.......

all i can think of now... is saying... maybe next time... luck will be better.

 

Shifting from Second to Third

You're changing gears. Stick with it. You'll find that once you've made it into third gear things will go much more smoothly. Cutting out now won't serve any purpose. Don't worry about it.

 

Got to suck it up Gen. If

Got to suck it up Gen. If you don't like your life, find some way to change it.
I understand your down my friend. Call me and we'll talk about it. okay?