many thoughts. What do you think?

I'm at the age now at grade in school that i'm very concerned about my future.

My father who is my hero as you know..Used to fight me as a child about being in the service though he loved how fascinated i was when he showed me drills he used to attempt. I was in boot camp for bad behaviour for a long time and i can honestly say, through all the fights and running and punishment, i loved it. It just felt like it was my place. Not for money but just the feeling of the teamwork and the work i felt i was doing. Every way i pushed my body felt like an accomplishment. Like hey, you know i may have done some bad things but i'm doing something. Respect me.

Then it brings me back to this. I have lost many to cancer..i have seen more people come and go i was very close to, like trey's mother for instance. She was like a mom to me when my mother and i were on bad terms for almost two years. I want to be there for those families. Cancer has ruined my life and many others. I lost all of my grandparents whom i loved so much and my father to cancer.
Maybe it's my purpose to be a mother and a wife someday and take care of cancer patients or even be a doctor for one of them. A doctor determines alot of things, it's not all just in the book text. It's in their head and i know i could do it.

But i am a very weak person. I know it's hard to believe with my attitude in the past years on BJP but i have a very soft heart. I give to alot of people and i try my hardest to assure everyone around me is safe. I cry when i see stupid commericals for abused puppies and cancer patients. I'm just very very naturallly good-hearted. I would eat myself up as a paramedic if a child died in my hands or while i was at the scene.

But could i ever bring myself to hurt someone else in war? What is worse? Healing life, or taking life?

i want my father to be proud of me. I know he has seen it all, things my mother hasn't they i have done in heaven right now. I want him to meet me again someday and tell me hey tiffany, i barely recognize you..you grew up to be such a good person.

I'm just very unsure.

 

Your father is already proud

Your father is already proud for having you as a daughter.

You are learning and growing. We all stumble and fall but when we pick ourselves back up that is what is important. By the sounds of it you are now.

You have your whole life ahead of you. Find out what you enjoy (hopefully productive hehe I was a teen too) and do it.

I am more sensitive then anyone here wouldn't believe. My weakness is kids and animals.

 

My weaknesses are Ben and

My weaknesses are Ben and Jerry's and Mystery Science Theater 3000.

~W

 

I just showed someone in my

I just showed someone in my Credit Recovery class what you wrote and they were like dude..dude..lol.
Thank you Basher. We all have weaknesses. I just have to decide what to do about mine and which path is more beneficial for me.