Creative Writing Ribbons.

Discussion in 'Written Arts' started by Chance, Jan 8, 2009.

  1. Chance

    Chance Admitted Pokemon Fan.

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    You fashioned ribbons out of the words you sang,
    Tying my soul up in yards and yards of unhealthy argot,
    A vernacular of lies and under appreciated fabrications.
    I think this is almost amusing as I’m being strangled by
    These swaths of mediocre fabric, gagging and laughing
    While the sunlight struggles to pierce this cloudy veil.
    They tell me you could never love me the way I need it,
    Knowing full well just how attached I am to you
    And how deep your hooks had settled, embedded in my heart.
    They tell me you’re just f*cking with me.
    All these falsehoods are driving me to the breaking point, but
    You’re knotting up more ribbons and bows and bands
    And all the other decorations you’ve acquired to keep my tied down
    And worthless. You’ll stretch them out just enough to give me room
    To thrash about, gesturing to your chest and succeed to make me tired
    As I watch you fashion a heart with your fingers.
    Comprised of anything and everything related to us, I can see
    How hollow I must look to anyone willing to steal a glance through the
    Pane of my existence. I suggest wiping away the immorality and smut
    To get a better look inside. I also suggest you ignore the finery,
    And never accept the temptation of these wrappings.





    For more, feel free to visit my deviant art.
    Chance's DA
    WARNING: I do have mature content in my gallery.
     
    #1
  2. Peachy

    Peachy ☆liberal HMod☮

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    That was very thrilling and full of good points. I see no errors in it. You are a very amazing writer, as always.

    Btw, thanks for the link to that. I'll go check it out real fast like. I may make me a page on it to just save me writings.

    Thanks for sharing. Good creativity makes my day.
     
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  3. Basher

    Basher Mad Writing Skillz

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    Neat idea for the ribbons. I get the point inside what it means. I think...

    Chance, you have grown a lot. No errs.

    Its a good poem. Unique from what I read. In a good way.
     
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  4. Chance

    Chance Admitted Pokemon Fan.

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    Thank you both kindly. I appreciate the positive feed back. :]
     
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