Star Wars in Chatspeak (EPISODE III - SPOILERS)

Discussion in 'Star Wars' started by Reisti Skalchaste, Jun 25, 2005.

  1. Reisti Skalchaste

    Reisti Skalchaste New Member

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    The following contains spoilers for Star Wars, Episode III. A fact that I wish I'd been informed of first. :(

    Note: The censor took out a couple of words, but that's ok. (The asterisks have nothing to do with chatspeak, is what I'm saying)

    ACT ONE

    (AnakinSky) lets h4x0r this *****
    (obi-wan) k
    (AnakinSky) blah some script kiddie is using ddos on my friend, let me go own him
    (obi-wan) no man, he can handle himself
    (AnakinSky) .... **** another ddoser
    (obi-wan) stay with me
    (AnakinSky) k so here is the target, lets break the firewall
    * AnakinSky shoots down the firewall
    (obi-wan) k so there are sentinel programs, auto-defending the system. we gotta hack it anyway. lets go. use the hacking tool "R2D2", its 1337
    (AnakinSky) ok. so lets do this.
    * AnakinSky proceeds through and h4x0rz away
    * obi-wan does the same
    (obi-wan) oh look, its sysadmin
    (AnakinSky) *hack hack hack*
    (AnakinSky) ROOT, BEEYOTCH!
    (obi-wan) k so kill this sysadmin welcomed guest
    (AnakinSky) no man, thats blackhat ****
    (obi-wan) do it! he will /h4x0rz some newbs if you dont.
    (AnakinSky) fine.
    * DaGeneral has quit IRC (Read error: Connection reset by peer)


    ACT TWO

    (AnakinSky) OMG PADME
    * AnakinSky glomps!
    (Padme) OMG ANAKIN
    * Padme glomps ^^;;
    (AnakinSky) so like, im 1337.
    (Padme) omg i know. so like, wassup.
    (AnakinSky) i just pwned some blackhat
    (Padme) ...youre so 1337 *swoons*
    (AnakinSky) ... i know. i just said that.
    (Padme) so guess what
    (AnakinSky) ??
    (Padme) IM PREGNANT!!!!
    * AnakinSky slaps Padme around a bit with a large trout.
    (AnakinSky) dont joke like that
    (Padme) im not joking haha
    (AnakinSky) ... ... ... ****.
    (Padme) so like, lets go to #naboo so none of these h4x0rz can **** with us
    (AnakinSky) lol no
    (Padme) =(



    ACT THREE

    (AnakinSky) i want ops
    (MaceWindu) you can join staff but youre not getting ops
    (AnakinSky) **** you



    ACT FOUR

    (Palpatine) dude lolz im the sith haha, u want ops?
    (AnakinSky) wtf, youre sith?
    (Palpatine) y.
    (AnakinSky) *****, I WILL /KILL YOU!
    (Palpatine) ... fine **** u. but Padme wil die if u dont.
    (AnakinSky) ... ... *******, **** you.

    % % % % %

    (AnakinSky) k so Palpatine is sith, lets pwn him
    (MaceWindu) no, youre not 1337 enough, ill do it
    (AnakinSky) ... you *****!
    (MaceWindu) if hes sith, and youre right, ill give you ops
    (AnakinSky) ... sigh.
    * MaceWindu has left #councilchat
    * AnakinSky turns on the porn
    (AnakinSky) oh **** this
    * AnakinSky has left #councilchat

    % % % % %

    (MaceWindu) YOU DIE NOW!
    (Palpatine) nooooooooooooooooo
    * AnakinSky has joined #criticalfightscene
    (AnakinSky) what the **** is this ****, you cant kill him, its against whitehat code
    (MaceWindu) but if i dont, hes gonna **** some newbs
    (AnakinSky) no this isnt right.
    * MaceWindu sets mode: +b *palpatine*!*badguy*@*republic.gov
    (Palpatine) help me! ill give u ops
    * AnakinSky sets mode: -b *palpatine*!*badguy*@*republic.gov
    * MaceWindu has quit IRC (Read error: Connection reset by peer)
    (AnakinSky) dumb *****.
    (AnakinSky) k, ops
    (Palpatine) u got2 change ur name tho, 2 DarthVadr
    * AnakinSky is now known as DarthVadr
    (DarthVadr) k
    * Palpatine sets mode: +o DarthVadr
    (DarthVadr) ty
    (Palpatine) but u have 2 /h4x0r experts n den pwn sum newbs in #tehtemple -- this is the only way Padme is gonna live.
    (DarthVadr) lol ok



    ACT FIVE

    * DarthVadr has joined #strangeplanet1
    * ChanServ sets mode: +o DarthVadr
    (AlienGuy1) hey lol why do you have a name like that, anakin?
    * AlienGuy1 has quit IRC (Killed (DarthVadr (rampage!)))
    * DarthVadr has left #strangeplanet1

    % % % % %

    * DarthVadr has joined #strangeplanet2
    * ChanServ sets mode: +o DarthVadr
    (AlienGuy2) hey lol whats up anakin
    * AlienGuy2 has quit IRC (Killed (DarthVadr (rampage!)))
    * DarthVadr has left #strangeplanet2

    % % % % %

    * DarthVadr has joined #strangeplanet3
    * ChanServ sets mode: +o DarthVadr
    (AlienGuy3) oh hello there anakin
    * AlienGuy3 has quit IRC (Killed (DarthVadr (rampage!)))
    * DarthVadr has left #strangeplanet3

    % % % % %

    * DarthVadr has joined #strangeplanet4
    * ChanServ sets mode: +o DarthVadr
    (AlienGuy4) wait wtf are you doing here... why is your lightsabre on? wtf no *****
    * AlienGuy4 has quit IRC (Killed (DarthVadr (rampage!)))
    * DarthVadr has left #strangeplanet4

    % % % % %

    * DarthVadr has joined #tehtemple
    * ChanServ sets mode: +o DarthVadr
    (JediNewb1) Hello Master SkyWalker! They're attacking the temple!
    * JediNewb1 has quit IRC (Killed (DarthVadr (rampage!)))
    * JediNewb2 has quit IRC (Killed (DarthVadr (rampage!)))
    * JediNewb3 has quit IRC (Killed (DarthVadr (rampage!)))
    * JediNewb4 has quit IRC (Killed (DarthVadr (rampage!)))
    * JediNewb5 has quit IRC (Killed (DarthVadr (rampage!)))
    * JediNewb6 has quit IRC (Killed (DarthVadr (rampage!)))
    * JediNewb7 has quit IRC (Killed (DarthVadr (rampage!)))
    * JediNewb8 has quit IRC (Killed (DarthVadr (rampage!)))
    * JediNewb9 has quit IRC (Killed (DarthVadr (rampage!)))
    * JediNub10 has quit IRC (Killed (DarthVadr (rampage!)))
    * JediNub11 has quit IRC (Killed (DarthVadr (rampage!)))
    * DarthVadr has left #tehtemple



    ACT SIX

    (obi-wan) padme, anakin just killed some newbs =(
    (Padme) WTF NO YOU LIAR
    (obi-wan) no, no, no lies. where is he?
    (Padme) dunno.
    (obi-wan) ok then.

    % % % % %

    * Padme has joined #transportship
    * obi-wan has joined #transportship

    % % % % %

    * Padme has joined #volcanicplanet
    * obi-wan has joined #volcanicplanet
    (DarthVadr) OMG PADME HELLO THERE I SAW YOU COMING HI HI HI
    * DarthVadr glomps
    (Padme) OMG ANAKIN HELLO THERE HI HI HI
    * Padme glomps ^^;;!
    (Padme) dude wtf they told me you killed newbs
    (DarthVadr) ...
    (DarthVadr) wtf you goddamn backstabber, you brought obi-wan here to kill me
    (Padme) ... i did?
    * DarthVadr sets mode: +m
    * ChanServ sets mode: +o obi-wan
    (obi-wan) LET HER GO, ANAKIN
    (DarthVadr) fine.
    * DarthVadr sets mode: -m
    (DarthVadr) shes into asphyxiation anyway. trust me.
    (obi-wan) ... tmi dude
    (DarthVadr) heh guess what man, im a blackhat now
    (obi-wan) dude, thats bad. please type /mode #darkside -o darthvadr
    (DarthVadr) haha lolz youre a dummy
    (obi-wan) anakin please, etc. dont make me /ddos you =(
    (DarthVadr) lololol you welcomed guest
    * DarthVadr sets mode: +b *obi-wan*!*leetjedi*@*thecouncil.org
    * ChanServ sets mode: -b *obi-wan*!*leetjedi*@*thecouncil.org
    (obi-wan) i told you, i can kick your ass. dont make me. i love you.
    (DarthVadr) lol fag
    (obi-wan) ops in #darkside are evil!
    (DarthVadr) yeah well so are you
    (obi-wan) *sighs* nothing i can do about it now.
    * DarthVadr has quit IRC (Killed (obi-wan (dont **** with people with +A, dude. G:lined)))
    * obi-wan has left #volcanicplanet
    * Padme has left #volcanicplanet



    ACT SEVEN

    * Palpatine has joined #volcanicplanet
    (Palpatine) FUXOR.
    (Palpatine) okay who has his number i need to call him and tell him his gline is gone. thats right. i am uber h4x0rz too.
    * Palpatine has left #volcanicplanet

    % % % % %

    * Palpatine has joined #sithHQ
    * DarthVadr has joined #sithHQ
    (Palpatine) lol u r a welcomed guest
    (DarthVadr) *grumble grumble incoherent mumble*
    (Palpatine) k i will /heal u.
    * DarthVadr puts on his robe and wizard hat
    (Palpatine) ... wrong story, man.
    * DarthVadr puts on a black cape and black helmet and black everything
    (Palpatine) haha black everything i get it, ur james earl jones now haha dats funny man.



    ACT EIGHT

    (obi-wan) **** **** **** **** **** Padme is gonna die and she has two kids to deal with.
    * LukeSky has joined #hospital
    * LeiaSky has joined #hospital
    * Padme has quit IRC (Remote host closed the connection)
    (obi-wan) sigh.
    (Senator69) k i will take leia, my wife and i cant afford envitro and shes barren.
    (obi-wan) k, i will take luke to his family.
    * Yoda has joined #hospital
    (obi-wan) haha yoda, where the hell have you been?
    (Yoda) pwning of robotic generals, with four arms, i have done.
    (obi-wan) lol pwn
    (Yoda) like to use, these blackhats, DDOS, they do.
    (obi-wan) yeah so im outta here
    (Yoda) to tatooine, take luke, to train.
    (obi-wan) what? train?
    (Yoda) train him, you must.
    (obi-wan) kk see ya man, btw check out www.hop.com if you ever get the chance.
    (Yoda) did not work, hooked on phonics, for me. into sentences, extra commas, i place. help this, i cannot.
    * obi-wan has left #hospital

    % % % % %

    * obi-wan has joined #tatooine
    (obi-wan) k here you go.
    * obi-wan gives LukeSky to FarmUncle

    === THE END ===
     
    #1
    1 person likes this.
  2. Seishin

    Seishin Guest

    ROFL!

    How ironically true. I belive all of it, especially te Yoda being hooked on Phonics thing there. Maybe that's how Lucas got his script. Just need to get a whole bunch of people, give them usernames (Padme, Anakin, Obi-Wan, etc..) and just RP in a chat room! How original! :p

    -Seishin
    (500 Posts for the Star Wars Forum! :D)
     
    #2
  3. luvweaver

    luvweaver Ad Jesum per Mariam

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    Error!

    Currently:

    (obi-wan) k so kill this sysadmin welcomed guest
    (AnakinSky) no man, thats blackhat ****

    Should be:

    (@palpatine) k so kill this sysadmin welcomed guest
    (AnakinSky) no man, thats blackhat ****

    Of course some sysop operations wouldn't be bad, either:

    *AnakinSky sets mode: -o DaGeneral
    *AnakinSky sets mode: +b DaGeneral!*@*
    *AnakinSky sets mode: +o palpatine
     
    #3
    1 person likes this.
  4. Jedimdo

    Jedimdo New Member

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    ROFL zOMG!

    I just read the entire movie! It feels like I didn't need to watch it on theaters.

    * Jedimdo has quit the thread ()
     
    #4
  5. Kaiyon

    Kaiyon Grim Reaper

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    Well, without all the drama, that IS indeed Episode III in a nutshell. Ironic....(like Palpie)
    Lol, Anyways, i really liked the jokes in it. Like Palpatine's adress was "@republic.gov"
    LMAO! :p


    - Kaiyon
     
    #5
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