I was always in the middle about abortion. I always considered it a right of a mother to end the life of her child because it is indeed, her child but now I see things differently. I think it depends on the person. I have many friends who have done the home abortions and one that did it the safe way in the actual clinic. They are screwed up now. One of them's mom's made them take birth control pills or something of the sort and she is suicidal constantly. I never understood it. I always thought they deserved to feel that way because it was THEIR fault. I feel bad for the virgin that gets raped and is forced to carry the burden of abortion because of the pregnancy. I feel bad for the kid that had sex only once, gets pregnant, dumped, and doesn't know what to do so they terminate it. I know they will deal with something way more than a limit to their lifestyle if they have an abortion though. I hate the girl that runs to the clinic every single time and it doesn't seem to phase them at all. I don't know how they live with themselvess. It has nothing to do with jesus hating you or hell, it's the fact you made a mistake and though it won't send you to jail - you'll have to die with blood on your hands. Blood that people fight to have legalized. Not too long, yes I. A few months ago I decided to have an abortion. That is what brought this all on. It isn't some choice you make, throw down, and forget about it. it's that choice people post bulletins about with dead kids to make a point about. It's something you can't write emo poems about and get people to pity you for. I was never a girl that got "around" like many girls you may know. I wasn't dumb and childish and that is why it shook me up when I find out. It's nothing you want to explain. It's nothing to go vocal and be proud of. I haven't met a single person besides one who even likes to talk about it. Her, the only reason behind her openness is the need to put guilt on the guy she terminated it for and to get pity for it. The reason I had one was for reasons I now consider selfish. The father had no idea I was going to do it and there was no other chance at all it was someone else's. My reasons will stay with me because as much sense as they make, now they aren't good enough like they were then. I can't go back. I'm on some random website I joined when I was a kid trying to talk it out to people who (you guys) will most likely look down on me. I don't blame you because I look down on myself as well. I never liked calling friends and talking about problems so I guess i'm trying to talk to people who can never make me feel like a monster in person. Feel me? There's is nothing I can do for myself besides trying to deal with guilt and talking to other girls going through it and trying to help them and make them understand what it really will do. It's silly and dramatic but it's honesty. It brings me to the point I can never sit and riot in the street about people murdering babies. I can never be angry at a man on TV who killed his living daughter by beating her to death. As much as I want to, i'll at least i'll say this. I don't believe in abortion anymore. I don't believe we should allow people to pay doctors to rid themselves of life. i'm just as disgusting as those loose girls going to get a monthly checkup just to make sure they don't have to blow another 300. I'm no different than them. I can't ever tell another woman she can't have one because I have no room to judge. But at least I can say i'll never vote for it and i'll never say it's the right thing to do ever again. If not for the life being taken, then for the man and woman, or woman and how they feel afterwards. I know many women get pressured into to it and I just hope they know what they are doing =/ Basher who may read this has a child and I bet you are a wonderful mother. I'm not looking for advice or anything. Just for ya'll to read and think about it. Have a good new year everyone!