Creative Writing Your Heart...A Rose

Discussion in 'Written Arts' started by Vicious, Mar 12, 2006.

  1. Vicious

    Vicious Revolution...Revolucion!

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    Your heart is as frail as a rose,
    The pedals slowly cascading off a forgotten river,
    You know that I will always regret,
    That I failed to be your sun.

    And I grasped your thorns so tightly,
    I felt the pain of your every word,
    My soul tainted by your overflowing tears,
    I didnt want the deception to go further.

    On this moonlit night,
    The wind picks up my dried up words,
    Taking all the empty promises,
    I still wished to fulfill.

    The stars are as scattered as my thoughts,
    You could never know how I really felt,
    No...not ever has my heart spoken of a love it wished for,
    And I know that I have built an illusion around this.

    Your eyes can only gaze at the ghosts I created,
    Only able to see dancing shadows from the dim light of my conscience,
    Maybe tonight is the night...
    I try to end it all.

    To cease all the memories lurking inside,
    And seal them in a box that will surely fade away,
    Dont worry...by tomorrow youll forget how to feel,
    This numbness will last until the end of time.

    And the heavens will look down and pity this decision,
    For we had the world at our fingertips,
    But no youre heart was as frail as a rose,
    Beauty trapped inside insignificant form.



    I rarely write in this manner, since I tend to be more straightforward with things. What are the bad points or good points in this poem?
     
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  2. Chance

    Chance Admitted Pokemon Fan.

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    *smiles* Your poetry is always so pretty, much like a rose. Even with the underlying message, I can merely say it's lovely.
     
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  3. Vicious

    Vicious Revolution...Revolucion!

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    Strange though, most of my inspiration came from a rose. *looks through old notebook* Could it be that one just refuses to let go? Or that maybe this object of inspiration just in some way, shape, or form, affect me and I just dont wish to admit. Sometimes I think that when I write poems like this.
     
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  4. Peachy

    Peachy ☆liberal HMod☮

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    Haven't we talked on MSN about this dear? ^^ Your so sad, yet I still am totally in love with you. I loved the poem, though they sadden me in a broken hearted way.
     
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  5. Vicious

    Vicious Revolution...Revolucion!

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    Sad? Sometimes...

    Its not like Im always sad. I actually consider myself a happy type of person. :D :D :D :D

    Either that, or I just dont get my emotions get in the way of many things.:catgirl:
     
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  6. Ashika

    Ashika This thing is so short...

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    Its nice writing about happy stuff, but to get a good perspective, sad can be intresting too. Nice poem, as always, lol. :p
     
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  7. Basher

    Basher Mad Writing Skillz

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    Your a guy?

    The good: Very good poem surprising coming from a male. Yeah most my friends like guts and video games. They never grow out of it. \

    The bad: The word youre is wrong. Maybe more.
     
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