Humour 68 Fun Things to do at Wal-Mart!

The ones that should require you to be a female, (ie number 5) are even more fun if you happen to be male.

Just don't try any of these at a Safeway. >:(


1. Take shopping carts for the express purpose of filling them and stranding them at strategic locations.

2. Ride those little electronic cars at the front of the store.

3.Set all the alarm clocks to go off at ten minute intervals throughout the day.

4. Start playing Football; see how many people you can get to join in.

5. Run up to an employee (preferrebly a male) while squeezing your legs together and practically yell at him " I need some tampons!!"

6. Try on bras in the sewing/fabric department.

7. Try on bras over top of your clothes.

8. Make a trail of orange juice on the ground, leading to the restrooms

9. While walking around the store, sing in your loudest voice possible "sex and candy"

10. Walk up to an employee and tell him in an official tone, "I think we've got a Code 3 in Housewares," and see what happens.

11. Tune all the radios to a polka station; then turn them all off and turn the volumes to "10".

12. Play with the automatic doors.

13. Walk up to complete strangers and say, "Hi! I haven't seen you in so long!..." etc. See if they play along to avoid embarrassment.

14. While walking through the clothing department, ask yourself loud enough for all to hear, "Who BUYS this ****, anyway?"

15. Repeat Number 14 in the jewelry department.

16. Try putting different pairs of women's panties on your head and walk around the store casually.

17. Leave small sacrifices or gifts in the hands of the mannequins.

18. Play soccer with a group of friends, using the entire store as your playing field.

19. As the cashier runs your purchases over the scanner, look mesmerized and say, "Wow. Magic!"

20. Put M&M's on layaway.

21. Move "Caution: Wet Floor" signs to carpeted areas.

22. Set up a tent in the camping department; tell others you'll only invite them in if they bring pillows from Bed and Bath.

23. Contaminate the entire auto department by sampling all the spray air fresheners.

24. Nonchalantly "test" the brushes and combs in Cosmetics.

25. Drape a blanket around your shoulders and run around saying, "...I'm Batman. Come, Robin--to the Batcave!"

26. TP as much of the store as possible.

27. Randomly throw things over into neighboring aisles.

28. Play with the calculators so that they all spell "hello" upside down.

29. When someone asks if you need help, begin to cry and ask, "Why won't you people just leave me alone?"

30. When two or three people are walking ahead of you, run between them, yelling, "Red Rover!"

31. Look right into the security camera, and use it as a mirror while you pick your nose.

32. Take up an entire aisle in Toys by setting up a full scale battlefield with G.I. Joes vs. the X-Men.

33. Take bets on the battle described above.

34. Set up another battlefield with G.I. Joes vs. G.I. Janes. (Red lipstick might give an interesting effect!!!)

35. While handling guns in the hunting department, suddenly ask the clerk if he knows where the anti-depressants are. Act as spastic as possible.

36. While no one's watching quickly switch the men's and women's signs on the doors of the rest room.

37. Dart around suspiciously while humming the theme from "Mission:Impossible."

38. Attempt to fit into very large gym bags.

39. Attempt to fit others into very large gym bags.

40. Fill your cart with boxes of condoms, and watch everyone's jaws drop when you attempt to buy them.

41. Set up a "Valet Parking" sign in front of the store.

42. Two words: "Marco Polo."

43. Leave Cheerios in Lawn and Garden, pillows in the pet food aisle,etc.

44. "Re-alphabetize" the CD's in Electronics.

45. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna" look with various funnels.

46. Hide in the clothing racks and when people browse through, say things like "the fat man walks alone," and scare them into believing that the clothes are talking to them

47. While walking around alone, pretend someone is with you and get into a very serious conversation. Exp: The person is breaking up with you and you begin crying "How could you do this to me? I thought you loved me! I knew there was another girl, but I thought I had won. You kissed ME darling." Then act as though you are being beaten and fall onto the ground screaming and having convulsions.

48. When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, assume the fetal position and scream, "No, no! It's those voices again!"

49. Go to an empty checkout stand and try to check people out.

50. Drag a lounge chair on display over to the magazines and relax. If the store has a food court, buy a soft drink; explain that you don't get out much, and ask if they can put a little umbrella in it.

51. Get a stuffed animal and go to the front of the store and begin stroking it lovingly, saying "Good girl, good bessie."

52. Go over to the shoe department and try on every pair of shoes, not putiing one pair back. Take the paper from the boxes and throw it in various aisles.

53. When someone steps away from their cart to look at something,quickly make off with it without saying a word.

54. Follow people through the aisles, always staying about five feet away. Continue to do this until they leave the department.

55. Ask other customers if they have any Grey Poupon.

56. Test the fishing rods and see what you can "catch" from the other aisles.

57. In the makeup department, spray yourself with every perfume there is, then walk up to a boy who is with another girl and start flirting with him in that annoying, ditsy way. "hi!!!! (giggle) What's your sign?(giggle)." When the boy shows no interest, start hitting on the girl the exact same way. "hi!!!! (giggle) What's your sign?(giggle)."

58. Hold indoor shopping cart races.

59. Re-dress the mannequins as you see fit.

60.When there are people behind you, walk REALLY SLOW, especially thin narrow aisles.

61.Relax in the patio furniture until you get kicked out.

62.Challenge other customers to duels with tubes of gift wrap.

63.Pay off layaways fifty cents at a time.

64. Say things like, "Would you be so kind as to direct me to your Twinkies?"

65. Make up nonsense products and ask newly hired employees if there are any in stock, i.e., "Do you have any Shnerples here?"

66. Ride a display bicycle through the store; claim you're taking it for a "test drive."

67. Leave cryptic messages on the typewriters.

68. Get boxes of Condoms and randomly put them in peoples carts when they don't realize it!

 

What's Walmart? Is that a big shop? Anyways, if you do some of those in my country you can get kicked out of the shop easily. But if people in Canada do this, then it's funny XD I wanna see security camera's tapes of people doing those crazy things in that Walmart shop.

 

Amusing. Sadly, Sweden doesn't have Wal-Marts so...nyuuu~

- Teddz

 

wow...thats sounds interesting ..muhahahaha

P.s
If i dont post within 3 days....i'm stayin low for a while :blush:

 

I do

42. Two words: "Marco Polo."

All the time. Well at least late at night. Last time I was trying to find my party and someone else answered Polo. I was so mad. I went up and paged him. What made it better was it was after work. And a LOT of co-workers were there. Hehe

Thanks for list. It was cute.

 

Rag, I give you major props. I'm laughing so hard I'm crying, omg.

 

I will try some of these. Heck, I'll try and video tape 'em for you guys! I'm gonna ask for the rediculus products. I wanna see the reactions.

 

Your a little late...Been there done that...(hey I thought all of you guys knew I was CRAZY!!!!):anime:

 

Eh, I did most of those things already. But I still get a kick out of paying people money to run down the up escalator. And before anyone starts about how easy it seems, IT'S NOT. A human's normal pace is walking. A human's normal pace going down stairs makes them step on every step. When a person runs, there is a huge amount of space inbetween their steps compared to walking. Meaning that if someone ran down stairs, they would not step on every step, or every other step, or even every third step. They would be stepping on at least every fourth step. If you still feel like trying to prove your point by risking your own health, it's your funeral.

 

nice rag,i'm going to die of laughing lol

 

I've seen a list like that before. Ironically, the list only contained some of those, which are the few good ones; a whole whopping five percent. The rest sound really stupid; not funny.

 

* remembers* I used to ride the carts outside of Wal-Mart and Dollar General waiting for the bus to alternative school..lol. Good times, good times.

 

Did you ever think to pee on a greeter?

xD

I mean, how wrong it would be to pee on a greeter!

 

i have done

3.Set all the alarm clocks to go off at ten minute intervals throughout the day.


or you can aslo have light saber duels with friends or customers :walkaway:

 

I love Wal Mart fun. Once I took Alyssa's purse and ran through the store while she was chasing me. Not one person stoped me to see if I had stole it. Then once I dash away from her and I am just walking with her purse and I get the best looks ever. lol

Acting like your some really rich person in Wal Mart is fun to. Walk around and be like.. now whats this place called again?

The best is just dressing up and going there. I love Hickvile Wally World.

Oh, go and buy a whole bunch of snack foods. Like twinkies or Swiss Rolls. Then go back out to your car and get into a fight with them. Go back into the store and act very casual and walk to the bathroom. <-- Quite fun.

 

great list and ideas
i will see what i can come up with later