Creative Writing a star can never be anything else

the rain hits the roof softly. the noise was tinny and familiar, which always brings back memories.the rain relaxs me, it always has. i look out my window, my room darkened so i may watch it better, and concentrate on the sound. my eyes wander from tree to tree and then to the small ditch as it begins to fill with water.

in my window i see the rooms reflection and i study it. scattered paper is the main deocration. not all of it clean, and not all of it dirty; just like me. the room is my relection. it shows my feelings, my true self, my interests, my hates, my errors, my worries.

i start thinking about everything again. all my problems, my complications. i start to question my relationships with people. am i good friend? lover? person? am i really stupid, or just trying really hard to look smart to myself? should i continue talking, trying to make sense of my own words as they come out? and i think about how i shouldn't think so low of myself. i laugh quietly.

i sigh and reach over and turn off my small off white lamp. laying back on my bed, i clutch my pillow, and begin to dream.

 

Dream a little dream of me

it was a boring dream. it was all in black and white. famous people that i will never meet were there, wanting to be around me. making me feel needed, wanted. i woke up after 20 minutes of free falling from an airplane.

but, i didn't want it to end. it was fantasy, and i was happy there. i was romantic, and not afraid to be so. i was how i wanted to be; brave, smart, caring, sexy. but, that free floating feeling, i always hated that part of the dream.

i dig my head out of the pillow and slowly motion my head towards the clock. i've been asleep for about 3 hours. the rain is still there, adding in some lightening to scare me. i try to dwell on my dream, to keep it in my head a little longer. i want to know everything that happened. but i'm too groggy.

 

now, this is a good example of when i'm on and when i'm off....this second bit lacks a bit i think...but is much better than the absolute gibberish i had typed there first....

note: that is based after a dream i commonly have. i guess i have a thing for airports! lol and the settings are based alot on my area...least, my room and the view from my window...myself, i have more clothes on the floor than paper...clothes and markers and cds....lol

 

an optional choice

it's still raining. a gentle wash of water works it way down my window, creating a quiet, yet soothing sound. it distorts the veiw of the giant pine tree and the dry earth under it. the rain has let up, allowing the birds to come out of hiding and play in the water filled ditch.

i hear the cars on the highway only 400 yeards away drive by. the glow of the light posts above shine through the rain. i can feel the darkness of my room. i am safe here. but the rain outside looks inviting. i pull the shade down over my window, and lay back in the black.

and i like the sound of the gentle rain lull me into a gentle slumber.

~fin...

lol sorry for the anti-climax...guess i like moody stuff that tries to get the feeling across more than action...i was gonna try...really...

 

a short oddesy(into bad spelling i guess lol)

i am a slave to myself. my actions and wants come from a place deep inside that has override commands for my muscles and desires. i know that i can't help but do what i tell myself to, and it's killing me. to be able to stop hurting myself and make myself be the way i want to be; a person of a good nature, that wouldn't hamr another in anyway. i don't want to carve people up with my words. i want to help them.
but this is my fate, as is with all computers.