Psychology Abuse

This thread means alot to me. This thread is for a few members on the board that I know that have been abused physically, emotionally, and sexually.

The question in this thread, is really how bad abuse affects you? Some say people need to stop whining about it and move on...but is it really that easy?A quote from one of my poems.

"Could you forget something that happened every day?"

It's really hard to forget the screaming, the hitting, and the touching involved in these three types of abuse. Especially if your a teenager. I know three other people besides myself that has been abused. One of them died and the two others are still out of it..and I doubt they'll ever get better. Even people that are still abused, that poses yet another question. How bad is it affecting them that it's still happening and no ones doing anything about?

 

Compared to most of the people here, my "abuse" is probably as miniscule as it can get without there being any kind of abuse. Between the ages of nine and fourteen, while my father was either drunk or one of his little crack-rushes, he would beat me or my brother (strangely enough he always left my little sister alone, which is good). Thankfully it never got to the point of hospitalization or broken bones. Just throwing things at us and just bruising beatings in general, wasn't anything serious. At the time it effected me pretty harshly I would assume, never wanted the man to come home, but anymore it doesn't bother me as far as I can tell. I don't think about the events, or him, anymore really (except for when I was required to talk about it in therapy and such or when someone brings it up, like in this instance).

I'm not so sure if the events affected me or not. I know that as I've gotten older, since around fifteen or so (the "abuse" stopped at around fourteen when my mother finally divorced my father and he was put out of our lives) I had grown incredibly cynical and pretty much evolved into the ******* you people see before you today. I am not so sure that it was an extent of my history or if it was just bound to happen anyway. I know that I wasn't like this when I was younger but then again people change a lot as they grow older.

The first time I was really like this was probably when I was fifteen when I was in Sunday school (my grandparents are pretty enthusiastic Catholics so me, my brother and my sister attended Sunday school classes and my brother was an altar boy at a time. Surprisingly I was the one involved with it the longest). I ended up getting removed from Sunday school for getting into an argument with our "teacher" shortly after I got another teacher fired (after a long discussion and points I was trying to make of contradicting the Bible, which we were studying at the time, and talks about how we're products of incest from the times of Adam and Eve and the Great Flood, she finally told me I didn't -have- to be Catholic if I didn't want to... strangely enough for someone my age, no one ever told me that before and it kind of clicked. Since I knew my grandparents wouldn't just -let- me quit, I did one better and got myself removed. The teacher who told me it was okay for me not to be Catholic was fired and as far as I heard was no longer allowed to teach religious classes in the county again for her "blasphemy" and "betrayal").

When I was around sixteen I hit the end of my stint of depression which started since I was about nine, cycled through about five different psychiatrists, was medicated twice. Never attempted suicide or never actually hurt myself, though claimed I did. Wrote crappy emo poetry for about a year. Things mostly evened out when I was eighteen and the situation with my on-again-off-again girlfriend, Kara, finally settled into an actual relationship (an online relationship for a time, just for all you cynics and critics, had been going as I said on again and off again for a few years) and I spent a little over a year living with her (certain unfortunate events caused me to have to move back to New Jersey but I certainly plan on living with her again).

I guess I was lucky to meet somebody like Kara which helped things out and I'm a bit of a believer in the idea that if things were different, then the outcome of our current lives wouldn't be the same. So maybe if what happened didn't I wouldn't have met someone as wonderful as Kara at the time in my life that I did and I wouldn't be the person that I am today. Albeit I'm an ******* and a cynic at heart, it really doesn't bother me, and to the people I care about and the people that care about me, it doesn't bother them, so I'm satisfied with who and what I am. I wouldn't thank my father for the "good ole' times", but I'm certainly not about to dismiss them or hide them.


To ease the tension a little... how about some hamburgers?

 

God Bless you.

 

If you Guys Are Intrested Cheak out The Book called
"A Called Called It"
I think there 4 books all named something diffrent but same storyline
Its by a Guy Named Dave Pelzer and His Life as a child and how his mother beat him

 

I have read "A child called it." It is rather sad. I read the first book so far. It may help if you read them all.

As far as abuse goes it is helpful to remember it is not your fault. No matter what they say. You are not in charge of other peoples actions.

Also it helps to admit that you’re a victim.

As far as psychology goes abuse can not be forgotten. It can be helped but not forgotten. There are times when a simple thing can trigger a heavy emotion. Abuse hits people hard emotionally. That is something that can never be fixed.

 

i dont know what you would call this kind but when i was younger my step family thought i had a demon in me, they said they could fill the evil eat away at my poor soul........ they throw holy water one me slaped me hit me, cut me and pored the water in them and yelled somewerid thing. then they would throw me in a small closet untill the "demon" was gone.....i hate them all.
then my step cousin raped me over and over again, till i drove a knife in his heart......my mother abuses me mentaly and sometimes hits me....my step dads all most killed me more then ones and i cant remeber like 3 months of my life from him hitting me in the back of the dead with his fist.
i cant forget the pain the cosed me but i can grow from it, i wont let the things the did pull me down...even now when mom telling me to pay for every thing and i dont have enuff to even by some lunch or school stuff and i need more clothes but they wont give them to me. also my mother told me she wished i was never born and that i ****ed her life up....****ed up a?

 

Alot of people hate they're mothers..funny. My mom said the exact same thing, but the problem with that is..It was kinda true. Lol.

^_^ Smile dude.

 

yea well love she said she ment it and i could fill she ment it as well...ive got no more family luv

 

Not to turn this into debate or anything, but my mom was indeed crazy. THEN again. So was I. Addicted as hell, failing to wake up to reality, and all that other good stuff. Not saying it was your fault, but it felt like and it still feels like it whenever she says she hates me and hopes i'd die..she means it.

Some people are very crazy, but we can help by not giving them the satisfaction by being just as crazy and depressed as they were. No matter how hard it is.

It sounds rude, but abuse is hard. Then again I say, it's easier to live in the past then to move on and smile even though your childhood was ****.

 

It's always interesting just how easily people can speak of such events... mm.

 

I know a few things of all people. - Sasuke - knows what he's talking about. I find it weird that i'm able to come out and say it. It took me a year into BJP before I admitted what was going on to a member. (he knows who he is)

Why not make this a open discussion on abuse?

 

i do it cuse i know ill ever meet any of you, and if push come to shuve i would just change my name oR something. when i talk to you guys its like im realy siting next to you in a soft chair and drinking coffee or tea with you. i fill like if we all did get to gather we would all get along. and talking about it now after so long helps the pain go away, even now with mike and every thing