Creative Writing Alice- Pictures of the Dead

Discussion in 'Written Arts' started by Locke, Jul 22, 2005.

  1. Locke

    Locke New Member

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    *well here i go with my lasted super-emo creation, dont worry i have plenty*

    Alice- Pictures of the Dead

    I sit there
    You have gone from me
    The Door at the end of the hall begs me
    To open it
    The answers are there
    Why I left you
    Why you died
    Why you died and tore my heart out
    Died and killed the black crows of the black gate
    The door uses no time to tell the people of the pain of the past

    The hospital is an eerie place
    Taken by the last of them
    All the hounds and demons of hell rest there
    Endlessly

    I remember your face and it turns my fear to terror
    I am so scared of you

    The bed in the corner is not alone
    It is not well
    Nor am I
    The man under the sheets moans for his
    Dearest
    Alice
    If only I could find this Alice
    I might be able to save myself and
    You

    I am alone with him
    He cries out and yet is the most silent I have ever heard someone be

    Meloncholy angels scream out your name
    I cannot hear them

    I am so scared of you
    I fear all the pain you caused me
    However that is not it
    I fear you
    Only you
    You alone
    The flowers are the only ones left

    I have never known your name
    You told me once but I was not listening
    I am listening now
    Tell me
    I hate you
    Your name brings all the world to an end

    The world has ended
    I know your name
    Your name
    Name

    Alice

    I moan your name in the dark alone with him in the corner
    The bed is my prison

    You love me but I dont love you

    ~Locke~
     
    #1
    Locke, Jul 22, 2005
  2. Peachy

    Peachy ☆liberal HMod☮

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    Dude Locke..that was freaking awesome, i was gonna post how much of a cocky bastard you were in the pic thread...but it changed my mimd..amazing lovely..good job! :D
     
    #2
    Peachy, Jul 22, 2005
  3. Locke

    Locke New Member

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    i was told by a friend i have a knack for writing.

    thank you, by the way
     
    #3
    Locke, Jul 22, 2005
  4. Nephilim_X

    Nephilim_X New Member

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    ...I'm sorry, but it's horrible. Poor flow, uninteresting subject material, extremely lame emo hyper exaggeration...
     
    #4
    Nephilim_X, Jul 22, 2005
  5. Hitokiri Tenma

    Hitokiri Tenma New Member

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    It's great, i love it. Keep up the good work.
     
    #5
    Hitokiri Tenma, Jul 22, 2005
  6. Cascade dream

    Cascade dream New Member

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    Well I think that you have done a wonderful job...It's really unique and I have to agree with ~Blue~(sorry about the mix up) "that was freakin' awesome" :D
     
    #6
    Cascade dream, Jul 24, 2005
  7. Peachy

    Peachy ☆liberal HMod☮

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    hey i dont mean to spam..but MY NAME IS BLUE!..ok well see your poetry is good..but lighten up on being so cocky all the time.
     
    #7
    Peachy, Jul 24, 2005
  8. Cascade dream

    Cascade dream New Member

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    Sorry I hd a friend tryping and she's really crappy with a computer... She just must have typed it in(SORRY) :blush2:
     
    #8
    Cascade dream, Jul 24, 2005

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