Humour Amazingly Simple Home Remedies

If you are choking on an ice cube, don't panic ----
simply pour a cup of boiling water down your throat
and presto. The blockage will be almost instantly
removed.

Clumsy? Avoid cutting yourself while slicing
vegetables ---- by getting someone else to hold them
while you chop away.

Avoid arguments with the Mrs. about lifting the
toilet seat ---- by simply using the sink.

For high blood pressure sufferers: ---- simply cut
yourself and bleed for a few minutes, thus reducing
the pressure in your veins. Remember to use a timer.

If you have a bad cough, ---- take a large dose of
laxatives, then you will be afraid to cough.

Have a bad toothache? ---- Smash your thumb with a
hammer and you will forget about the toothache.

You only need two tools: WD-40 and Duct Tape. -----
If it doesn't move and should, use the WD-40. ---- If
it shouldn't move and does, use the duct tape.

Be really nice to your family and friends; ---- you
never know when you might need them to empty your
bedpan.

:anime: