Creative Writing An angels tears

The veil of night takes all demands,
As you hold death in those withering hands.
Each breath you breathe, each tear you cry,
Reminds you that this is the reason she had to die.

You sobs come straight from the heart,
Why did this have to start?
An endless charade of lies and deciet,
How did you survive this tremendous feat.

Demons are what you blame,
Simply because you can't stand the shame.
The things you done, killings you've seen,
It is really like a neverending dream,

Yet this will end it all,
This is going to be your downfall,
The thing that is the heart to all your fears,
Here at last are the angels tears.

Your world goes black, as you lose it all
The shrieking laughter of a haunting call,
You die here on the cement floor,
As you come to the opening of hells door.

It has no rhyme or reason but it's all I could think of at the moment,I'm in the middle of a writers rut currently...

 

WOW! That was sooo breath-taking! You're an awesome poet! Wow...*speechless*... you should enter your poems in contests or try to publish them! I mean it! ^_^

-Kryshana

 

Sometimes a writer should not make a post,
What is inspired to some is cliche to most,
I'd like if you tried to break from the mold,
Tons of "gothic" poems quickly get old,
and your credibility becomes toast.

 

And you say I'm a crappy poet???

 

No; I say you're cliche. Additionally, your sig image is too big. Please change it, thanks.

(Although the fact that you can't recognize that I was writing in lymeric structure is amusing)

Edit: Let me rephrase this.

A pity you can't take a ribbing, a joke,
Of some horrible drug, you must have had a toke,
Not all will love your writing,
Don't take it as a prelude to fighting,
Or your chicken you may as well choke.

 

OK I have to admit, that was pretty creative...but I do know what a lymeric is even though I didn't put it on the post.And I didn't realize my sig is too big so I'll go and change that.I'm just being an ass right now, I'm not usually like this...Yes I do need to get over the fact that not everyone will like my writing...sorry about being a big b*tch.

 

And so you should be. Attitudes like the one you exhibited earlier will not serve you in the professional world or the creative community.

 

Neph, you should write something if you are tired of the depressing poems... surely you who can write in the style of lymeric could write for us a poem. =D come on Neph or do you only write poetic critiques?

 

he critiques because hes good at it, not to mention sometimes it's funny.

anyway lol

write a poem neph. show them how not to be a cliche.

 

I'll write when I feel like it; you can't rush or force writing if you want it to be any good.

 

Neph eates all emo people and bad poetry. NOT that this is bad, hmm some times your poems all seem sorta the same. I guess your in the same mood all the time. *claps* im your fan, no worries!^_^

 

well art is very personal, and some people just dont like some sort of art. That happens all the time. As long as you are happy about it! Even if it looks the same (and I can not judge that), so what? But ofcourse if you post it out here you cant expect that people will not say their own opinion.

I must say the the rhyme seems a bit simple, somehow. I mean not that complicated, yet there are some meaningfull words in it.