Crying + Praying = Healing

I feel much better now. See, for a long time this crazy idea began to get into my mind - that God didn't care if I suffered. Because I was a sinner, my prayers were worthless to the Lord.

Finally I couldn't take it anymore, I felt like telling all of this to Jesus, and I ended up crying. And in my mind, I think that Jesus wanted to tell me that my suffering is important for him. Important not in the sense that he'd want me to suffer - but important in the sense that he DOES care.

How many times have you cried alone, with nobody to comfort you?
Well, God is there - to help you.

Now, for those who don't know me, please don't judge me as "yet-another-bible-thumper-that-preaches- accept-jesus-or-else" type of christian, because I'm not. Because a) I'm a catholic, and thus I don't judge others with different religion, and b) Because I understand you guys. I've suffered too.

Anyway, I was complaining to Jesus about all what I had to suffer these years - stress, the obligation of "submitting to God's will". I really don't know how or why it happened, but I became more and more depressive. Why? Because I thought that NOBODY loved me. Specially God, whom I needed the most.

In my mind, there was this conflict of viewpoints. I've done so much for Him - or at least tried, but also, that didn't matter, because I shouldn't be prideful - so how will I earn God's love? What is God waiting for to help me in my suffering?

I ended up complaining of all of this to God - it doesn't matter whether you're right or wrong, you HAVE the right to complain.

This was what I learned in prayer - maybe you guys don't believe me, maybe you think I'm crazy or that I finally snapped. I just know that Jesus made me understand this - I (and my suffering) am so important for him, that he died for me. And he didn't die so that I could go to heaven and la-la-la. He died for me so I wouldn't have to suffer. Jesus' goal is to help us be happy, and we can't be happy without love.

The moment I realized that, I began to cry, and I felt as if some kind of shell around my heart would break. And finally I feel loved by God again.

The change was so evident... I played a song on winamp a few minutes ago, and I really enjoyed it. I enjoyed it freely... i felt happy.

I just wanted to share this with you guys, you have the right to complain to God - you have the right to ask him why, you have the right to cry and even demand help from him. Not because "he owes you", but because He owes HIMSELF. It's for his love that he will help you.

God bless, and I love you all

 

*Smiles* Though not a

*Smiles* Though not a Christian, I know what it's like to feel that God doesn't care. But through every crisis of my life, I prayed. I prayed for some guidance, or some help to show me the way..And you know something? It works. God is listening, he's in you and if you let him help you, he will.

And you know what Luvweaver? He loves you. He always has and always will. And wanna know something? I love you too. Why? Because you're such a strong individual, unafraid to express your beliefs with us all. It takes alot to openly speak your mind on such things, and for that, you truly are amazing.

God bless you. <3

-Katherine

 

I'm glad...

I'm glad to see someone else has seen the big picture.

Some of the most liberating moments of self realization come through prayer and reflection. It's nice to see you've found what you were seeking.

Strange, as I was reading this a certain song on my winamp queue came up. Ironically enough it was "Vater Unser Part II (Psalm 23)" by E Nomine. I'm not sure if you would like any of thier other works but "Vater Unser Part II (Psalm 23)", not to be confused with the simple "Vater Unser" another work by them, really fit the tone of your entry. Vater Unser is german for "Our Father", incase you didn't know. The song has a strong, religious tone about it.

God bless you too, man.

~W

 

Thanks

But you see... this isn't something that requires much courage once you get to know God. See, it's not about "me AND religion". God's existence covers the entire world, you can't ignore God in the universe, He's part of our spiritual reality. It's just matter of living this reality as a whole and not just the surface of it.

Anyway, thanks for the support