Creative Writing Fallen angel

This poem isn't like my other ones because it dosen't rhyme, but I think that it's alright.It was kind of the first draft of phantom angel but it is different and longer.

The glow of the moon,the mist of the night,
You envelpe her into your satanic embrace,
Shadowing you face, head bowed low,
The heat of her body, the pulse of her blood,
Your head begins to swim in a hazy blur,
Your blood lust swiming to the surface of your mind.

She draws you ever nearer to her,
Your breath comes in short bursts,
She touches you velvet hair,
As your lips grace her neck,
The tip of your tounge caresess her skin,
She cries out in a passionate love,
You finger fun up her bare back,

The tips of you teeth peirce the soft flesh,
Her cry bores deep ino you soul,
But the blood of her life overcomes it all.
You feel her youth pour into you,
You shudder with pleasure as it courses through your veins,

She silently dies in you vampiric arms.
Her beauty gone, Her life wasted
You pull away and lay her down,
A lost life who gave all for the fallen angel of night

Meh. It's o.k but it was really hard to do because I naturally rhme in poems ,And for me, not rhyming is a lot harder and takes a lot longer.

 

we need to get married.. Liked it, but it just makes me think of Evanessece. "Whom" I rarely listen to. You have such talent. Yes your poems are rather dark and sometimes.. really weird, but poems express how you feel and frankly your just like me! Hah! Try to write something nice for us once. I mean like a love poem or something!

 

Yes but dark poems are so much more fun...

 

creppy and yet so much delightful. i would love to come into your dreams and feel your devotion insted of reading it...
but i'm enjoying anyhow. keep it up.

 

OK I'll try a love poem but I wouldn't expect much from it...You think I have talent?! I've had a lot of people tell me I was to creppy and weird to be able to write.But to hear someone say that I have talent means a lot *boost in self confidence*

 

that was very good.

i like the darkness of it. you have a real knack for putting words together. have you ever thought of trying to get these published in book form?

 

No I've never even dreamed of publishing my stuff. (well I might have dreamed once :anime: )I should say that I 've never thought of getting my poems published but I have a book that is being considered for publishment...Not bad for someone who's only 15.The book is titled "Midnight dream" and I have a few people who are helping me turn it into a book.But i'm not sure if I will ever get it finished. (writing a book is tough. I've been working on it for two years and I'm not even done with the first copy yet :dizzy2: )