Creative Writing feeling

im kinda not doing so well in my poem department. this is a poem i wrote. Please tell me if its too..wierdish


it feels wierd to feel this way
this need to have profection
to bring a life in this world
and be responsible for its protection

i never thought id ever be faced with this
this sudden news that made things change
everyone looks at me different now
and those questions make me feel strange

i dont know what im going to do
one mistake and im trapped here
all the things my mom wants to do now
makes me feel this constant fear

they cant take this away from me
ill put up that long hard fight
because when i drift into sleep on my bed
i have that feeling im doing something right

 

I like it. Makes me want to ask if you are pregnant.

You are doing fine Blue. Everyone has jitters about their writtings that is why we post here to learn.

 

Good. I like the rhyme you threw into this. It sounds better than most highschool poetry. You kept a steady 'pace' and the flow isn't bad at all. You kept it simple and as a result it moves well. Nice job.

~W

 

it feels wierd to feel this way
this need to have profection
to bring a life in this world
and be responsible for its protection
reflects that you are pregnant

i never thought id ever be faced with this
this sudden news that made things change
everyone looks at me different now
and those questions make me feel strange
you were shocked bewildered when you found out

i dont know what im going to do
one mistake and im trapped here
all the things my mom wants to do now
makes me feel this constant fear
your mom wants you to have a abortion er your not sure if you wont it or not and go though with it you will feel guilty something like that

they cant take this away from me
ill put up that long hard fight
because when i drift into sleep on my bed
i have that feeling im doing something right
you are going to keep the baby bring life into this world

well good for you
hopefully i read it right

 

nice poem, i like the way the poem flows.

 

Its great blue! Its also touching i like how you worked in a ryme but its not overdone. *got to ask* are you just trying to get a womans feelings about carring an accidental/or just child, or are you pregnant?

 

thanks everyone ^_^ i always love the comments people put, well everyone if you read my journal you know but i am if ya'll already don't know! gosh.. I feel weird. Well anyway the rest of you keep u[ the GOOD work with the rest of ya'lls poems and stories

 

Wow, don't i feel stupid, eh? lol. Let me be the probably only one to not know, and say CONGRATS! Maybe well start a new thread about it and make you feel more awkward! well, anyway,congrats!