Gotta Cowboy Up.. And start dealing with reality

It just doesn't happen. You know, the whole, 'Running away from reality bullshit that we all seem to be set on doing because we're really terrible people and terrible people can't face the truth', which may or may not be the case, But I'm thinking in my case, it's true. It's like.. My hands hold two things. One's a stone, which is solid and easy to carry and fairly simple to keep up with. The other holds a feather, which I've been busting my ass not to squish, tear up or ruffle, so my palm is open and it is constantly in danger of blowing away.

I love the feather far more than the stone, because the stone is a device made to keep me grounded and the feather is one with the ability to soar. I want to fly more then I want to give in to being exactly what I made myself out to be.

Been taking more photos than before, mostly to ease my mind since for some odd reason, I like being able to sort through tons of shots of the same person to find the exact one that seems to fit them perfectly. It's pretty silly unto itself.

I looked back to that tear stained blog I did a few days back and almost cried again. One because I had fucking terrible grammar [which I blame on crying, and me being a bitch] and two, because the wording in it was pretty accurate. Accurate enough to bring me clearly close to tears. I'll live though, which is good since she isn't.

Yeah, can't say I know entirely what to do this summer.. or the following year since I have it off. And you know how that goes. A year off means I'm going to take as many photos as possible, travel a bit then maybe I'll settle in for a while and wait it out.

Thank goodness my parents have money. Otherwise being as indecisive as I am would lead me to probably send them into backruptcy. *looks that over to see if she is coherently spelling, then decides probably not and moves on.*

I wish more people on boards lived closer. Human contact would be nice, I fucking admit it. ;-; I don't know what it is about the fucks that live here, but I really am starting to hate them. yeah.. Hate fucking Connecticut. And the thing is, I get offers to stay with people often enough.. I just wouldn't leave connecticut so soon. Has nice stuff up here I'd regret not seeing more after I leave for good. So, I'll settle and wait since I have my entire life ahead of me and for once, I'm pretty planless. No force required, no need to lie to myself. I'm not exactly mapping my future out at this moment and God knows, I don't have to. Doesn't make me any less of a person. [/rant]

Anyway, yeah. I feel pretty good for someone stressed but the stress isn't exactly a big deal and I know it as well as anyone. So I'll get over it and move on. :3

Yeah, I'm moving on.