I ruined someone's day!

Two people actually. Can't say I've ever felt better. I'm no sadist, but it's nice to be able to use the enemies own tools against them and give back some of the BS I'm forced to deal with daily.

The first one involved a shipyard worker who wanted some tools moved out of a tray for radcon concerns. He said that his bosses had a problem with them being in there and that I needed to move them. I looked at the tools in the try, looked up at him and said "No, I'm not moving those." To which he seemed surprised. The man was a twenty year master chief who retired from the Navy and began working in the shipyard. He wasn't used to blue shirts like me telling him no. He cocked his head, frowned, and asked why. My reply was simple. I told him that those tools were instrumental in locking in pressure and fluids into the reactor plant in the case of a loss of all AC or possible pump failure. If those tools weren't staged where they were and something like that happened, I would be unable to immediately isolate the core and maintain pressure. By the time I'd have pulled the tools out and gotten my hands on them it would be too late and we would have violated some serious strat pressure and temperature curves- Possibly rendering the entire core vessel useless for the remainder of the life of the ship.

He didn't seem to buy it. Their radcon manual said differently. Huffing himself up he pointed to the tools and pointed at me and said that shipyard radcon stated that those tools needed to be removed from the tray, they were not authorized to be there, and that he was 'telling' me to put them away.

Looking up to him I shook my head, pointed at the tools and pointed at him and said that those tools were authorized, because my chain of command authorized them and that I'm not doing god-dammed thing he tells me to because the only person who can order me to do sh*t was the Watch Officer, so if he had a problem he could take it up with her, and that until then I was done talking to him.

Now, most of the time a lowly blueshirt does not tell a Master Chief "I'm done talking to you." at any point at all in his career. However this guy wasn't a master chief any more. He was a civilian. It was the first time in a long time when my chain of command actually backed me up and told him to get bent- those tools would not move.

So that was cool. Me, a lowly watch stander, spitting on a twenty year career MC civilian that had crossed the line. You could practically see my ego inflating.

But that wasn't it! Oh no, I wasn't done there.

Crossing the hangar bay this morning I was wearing a Foul Weather Jacket the happened to cover up my ranking insignia on my shoulder. At the shipyard we wear hardhats and normally there's a rank insignia on those as well, however because I just got promoted from a third class petty officer to a second class petty officer I removed the old rank sticker and had yet to stick a new one on, so it appeared that I was a lowly seaman (E-3) rather than a Petty Officer Second Class (E-5). Normally that's no biggie. Sh*t happens and people understand that.

Well while crossing through the hangar bay today, sporting my neeto-cool Foul Weather Jacket, I hear the infamous "Shipmate! Shipmate!" For those of you who do not know you don't call anyone 'shipmate' unless you intend on ruining their day.

Think of the worse name you can imagine calling someone. Got it? Now imagine walking along and you see someone who has a uniform 'problem' or a shave 'problem' so in order to get their attention you stop and call out "Hey. [insert explicative]." That's what calling someone 'shipmate' really means out in the real Navy.

So I hear the infamous "Shipmate, shipmate." and I stop and turn thinking 'Sweet Jesus, here it goes again. I know I shaved... and I got a haircut last week. What the hell...'.

Well this little guy walks up to me with one of those know it all smirks on his face. Looking up at his helmet I see the ranking insignia of a Petty Officer Third Class, the rank I just got promoted from.

'Great... What the hell does this guy want?'

"Excuse me Shipmate." He says. "But you're not allowed to wear your safety glasses attached to your helmet like that."

Apparently it's a sin to wear your glasses attached to your helmet because by doing so you cannot lose said glasses or misplace them, they fit perfectly over your eyes, and it is convenience to the owner of both. Therefore Safety department came out and decided to tell everyone that they don't want to see that any more. Well Safety is a pretty fuggin' useless department in the first place and my Chain of Command doesn't have any problems with wearing our PPE (personal protective equipment) like that that so I simply shrugged him off.

"Noted." I said as I turned and began to walk away. I guess he didn't like that.

"Shipmate, excuse me!" He said approaching from behind. "You need to fix that right now."

"Yeah, sure." I said shrugging him off. I thought he would have picked up the message that I didn't really care what he had to say, my own LCPO was fine with me wearing my gear like it was, but this kid seemed more intent on throwing rank around. Stepping in front of me he cuts me off and raises a finger.

"Excuse me, is that how you talk to a Petty Officer in your department? Where do you work?"

At this point it finally hits me that this screwb doesn't realize that I out rank him, all my identifying ranking insignias are covered up or removed. In the military saying "Yeah" to those who outrank you is a sign of insubordination and disrespect, but he doesn't know that I'm a second class under this heavy coat I'm wearing. Now at this point I could have been nice and polite, the better man, and simply said "Excuse me, but I am a Petty Officer Second Class and you are overstepping your bounds."

...But I decided to have fun with this. Safety had been busting my balls the entire gulf deployment and it was high time for some retribution.

"Yeah." I repeated once again. "It is." And unzipping my coat I began to pull it off, showing off my left shoulder and my rank for the whole world to receive. "I'm in Reactor Department."

The look on his face was classic. It was one of those "Oh my god, what have I done." looks. I couldn't tell if the color drained out of his face, it was cold as hell and he was pale enough, but the way his eyes widened was classic. Standing tall and puffing out my chest in my own 'authorative manner' (which probably looked really foolish at the time, now that I think about it. However since the kid was crapping his pants at the moment he probably didn't notice... at least if he did he didn't show it) I look at this guy and say-

"Is that how you talk to a Petty Officer in your department, shipmate?"

"Uh, Petty Officer, I apologize. I didn't realize-"

"What department are you in?"

"Safety department, Petty Officer."

At this point the fanfare in my head simply went off. All the trumpets and confetti began to ring out and rain down. I suspected this kid was in that evil department but I wasn't sure. This right here just became the high point in my day, and it was only nine in the morning!

"Safety, huh?" Now, if I had been thinking at the time I would have pulled out one of those same "You're a Petty Officer in the Navy, this kind of behavior is not tolerated, yaa-dee-yaa" line that's been fed to me on more than one occasion. But I wasn't, so I simply jumped to the grand finale. Pulling out a pad of paper from my pocket I flipped it open and whipped out a pen.

"Who's your LPO? Your LCPO?" Dutifully this kid revealed their names as I nodded, taking them down. His name was already on his uniform but I decided to ask him what it was anyway. I even asked him how to spell it.

Closing the note book tucked it away and nodded.

"I see. Stand by."

And turning I began to walk away once again. You see this kid thought I was really going to report him to his higherups- Not something I would have done even if I wanted to. I didn't want to go anywhere near the Safety Office because THEY would yell at me about my helmet and glasses and I wouldn't be able to luck out like this time. I had no wish to wander into the Lion's Den. This was more than enough for me. Sure enough that kid probably spent the rest of the day and part of the next sweating afraid I actually turned him in. Many times a kid will tell their chiefs what happened before someone like me can hand their name over so that they could soften the blow they're about to receive. I could only hope he did that, effectively turning himself in for me.

If he didn't it's no sweat. It was just nice to be able to deal some of the pain and BS back to those who had no problems raining it upon me while we were underway. Hehe, poor little Safety Screwb. The look on his face was like a golden treasure that I magically unlocked. Normally I'll give others the same courtesy they give me, but since this guy decided to be an *sshole I figured it was high time I returned the favor.

Every once and a while, when you're mired in all the garbage and hypocrisy, lady luck smiles upon you and says 'Here you go. I hope you enjoy this.'

Yay for me. Hehe.

~W

 

Yeah and every once and a while when I'm supposed to be doing school work my muse hits me(with an 18 wheeler) and says, "what the hell do you think you're doing.... here draw this." Of course the end results varies... this time it looks like a wingless griffen, a Jackakeet(my own invention), a pink winged fox, and some blue critter that was suposed to be a hooved predator. You only thought "Jackabee says" was scary.

 

What about a Liger? You draw Ligers too? Half Lions, half tigers, bred for thier skills in magic! :3