Creative Writing Is it any good?

Okay. This is a very strange story I just started writing for some reason. I think it started with a wierd dream. Please try and ignore the mistakes and please comment on it. Well, here it is I guess. It's only the first part, but I'll be working on it some more soon (maybe).

 

It's interesting that you mention it's from a dream. Otherwise it seems like one of those stories where a character has potential for greatness but would rather not pursue it. It's an okay story, but you could improve the beginning in several ways. Younger readers wouldn't be so critical about your story, and would probably enjoy every bit of it, but try to imagine some questions which more mature readers might ask. Like "If there are fight schools, does that mean that all the violent people go there?" And if she's going to the number one fight school, it must mean that there's something really remarkable about her (so far it seems that she only has an extreme temper, since her fighting is controlled by her rage). People might also ask "Why is she sent to a fight school rather than a psychiatrist or an anger-management class?" You might want to add into the beginning, like in the scene with her parents, some kind of mention of how those conventional methods don't work with her, thus they send her to a fight school as an alternative.

So far I imagine the fight schools as very strict places, filled with students with extreme tempers like her. Somehow I feel that your character has to be even more nuts, like instead of simply hurting the guy in your story, maybe have him nearly killed. Anyways, that's how your story seems so far. When you add more to it, we'll get a better vision of what your ideas are.

 

Well, it is very early in the story. I'll add to it when I get some time, but I'll answer some of your questions here and plus, I can come back later and see what I said.
She doesn't go to a psychiatrist because she has already been and it didn't help. She's kind of in a rebellion of sorts because her real parents dumped her off and she doesn't let herself get attatched to anyone except her friends. She origionally wanted to go to a fighting school, but one near where she lives. They just granted her request as a last resort and are hoping that it will help her. They've tried to change her by love, but she has seen a hard life and absolutely disspises her adoptive parents.
Now one might ask why I made a story with a girl who has such a hard life and might think I have a life like that. I don't, it's just that all my stories have something in common: people with hard lives on their own and such.

But thank you so much for actually reading it. I ask for people to read my stories to find out if it is good because, frankly, I think everything I do isn't any good. I'm just strange like that.