It's going to better tommorrow. Once again.

Man, I really love Incubus. They have to be the greatest besides KoRn. I'm really not into slowish sounding rock half the time, but it's the shit. Right now, I miss you - Incubus..Is in my head all the time. I dedicate it to my Aj. I'm so worried about him. He's been having anxiety attacks and that's not good if your wondering. All this college and dealing with my mom not wanting us to be together..or anyone else for that matter. It ain't easy. We're both RA's and we've both relapsed. I got drunk yesterday and was tripping off my ass for awhile. Then, you know..I woke up yesterday morning and thought of something.."This isn't as fun as it used to be" I get depressed instead of hyper and *cough* Yea, i've got a friend now that smokes weed. Her name's Kaela. I'm going to smoke weed. Almost EVERY RA smokes weed. Why? Because you can't get addicted to it unless you lace it and it keeps ME at least from wanting to do anything I used to. One high once in awhile isn't really as bad as it looks. I mean gawh I used to eat and breathe xanex and it's like now it's not in my head at all to do it..Wait. I'm lying. HELL YEAH it's in my mind all the time. I'd do anything to get that bubbly feeling and end up sleeping all day because I took more than two bars. It's getting even hard to talk about it. When someone mentions the name I kinda go off a little bit. Gawh the only bad thing about Kaela is she is trying to do other stuff..and i'm TRYING to convince her not to. Yet, there leaves that one thing. Not everyone gets addicted. So I can't convince her not to. I just hope to god she doesn't meet Tyler Cardwell's mom..I PRAY TO GOD! She'll be SHOVING it down her throat.

Damn coke and xanex..DAMN IT TO HELL! I'm so mad at myself all the time. Even though I don't want to be. I just feel sorry for my friends ya' know? Aj told me I can't keep living in the past, but Aj can't help me any more. I need to help him and help myself last for once . I sware he's my guardian angel..I love him.

Tommorrow will be better. ^^

-Love-
Peachy