Creative Writing lethargic: a rambling

There is a day and a night. they pass by as normal. another normal day and normal night go on as usual. i look around at the thing i put around myself, half aware of what i see. i stand in the middle and feel tired. it's as though, the world is a camera spinning around me, and there's just enough of the dawn coming in through the blinds on the windows to light it perfectly orange. i shuffle to the couch and stare. i glare at me feet. they shuffled, and so i shuffled. my glare pierces my shuffling feet. how dare they do that.

i'm so very tired again. every day and night, i feel my energy slip away. the couch is so appealing, the bed too. i sleep at my normal times to get ready for my normal days and nights. everytime i try and mix it up, it's simply more of the same. and on my existance goes.

during one normal day, i realized, the orange is getting muddier. was it darkening or was it absessing? i stare at my blinds. i know the sun is there; the light is coming in. that's what the sun's light is.

right?

i turn and face the blinds, their slits a dark orange glow before me. i want to move them and see why they light is changing everyday. i want to open them. i want to see out into the new day, as normal as the rest. i want to see that i'm not missing anything and am not needed yet again today or tonight. i want to.

i really do.

but, the light is always like that. why should i care about it? the scraping that it does to get inside this room isn't anything to be concerned with. all the noise it uses to try and compel me out into it will never bother me. they've always been there anyways.

oh, but how the glow tempts me still. will i be mad at me for wanting to; for touching them; for finding out? just one touch of the blind won't hurt me, right? my rebelious feet shuffle slowly to the window, covered in orange. my hand reaches out. it touches the blinds softly, slightly brushing them at first. my eyes are blinded by the dull glow from the spaces at first, blocking out all sight of what lay beyond. slowly, i spread them apart to see what is causing the darkness.

there were people looking at me. there were so many people. the light was bright and white. the noises made slowing beeps near my ears. why is my body aching like this? what's making that dripping? why is my wrist cold? why is the air so sharp? why is that woman crying? why am i so damn tired? the light hurts, the sound hurts, the cold hurts, my body hurts.

i let go of the blinds. i slowly reach over to them, and turn them closed, the orange letting go into darkness.

 

spur of the moment thought, with meaning brought in near the end = you hit it dead on actually. it just kinda, led itself that way.

and where is my other one on here? >.>;

and my writing is always abstract when i am not fully thinking on it. it turns out neat though that way. more, i get a random emotion in my head, i wasn't feeling great for some reason, then as i type, got this picture in my head, and it ran with itself. fun fun.

 

and just think, some people sit and plan out their stories.
bah!
lol and thank you, for not having really writen anything in a very very very long while, hopefully this will help me write more and lead into me actually, you know, drawing again >.>