Psychology Monogamy - human nature or social condition?

Just want to know what everyone thinks on this subject. My friend's parents are getting divorced because her mother caught him cheating, and I have several friends who have cheated or have been cheated on. Thankfully, I've never experienced either, but I'm just wondering whether you guys think it's unnatural for human beings to be monogamous or if that's the way it's meant to be and those who do have multiple partners are just weak/greedy/evil or whatever!
Just want to know what everyone thinks :anime:

~kitty~ :catgirl:

 

I have no problem if it is consentual, and the person with multiple spouses or partners can support them.

If you make a commitment to one person though, you should stick by your decision.

 

Oh, it's definitely a cultural thing. There are plenty of cultures remaining in the world where a man can take multiple wives - and even a few where a woman can take multiple husbands (there was a segment on one such culture on the National Geographic channel just a few nights ago, too).

Humans, as complex beings capable of passing on our beliefs and values, have a variety of ways of living that are natural to us. Humans in different environments and with different histories are going to shape their values accordingly.

I think that it's human nature for a man to want multiple women - because in nature, males are typically designed with the capacity and desire to fertilize as many eggs as possible, passing on their DNA with as many different females as they can to maximize their chances of keeping their genes in the population. Likewise, I suppose that women tend to want a man who will pay attention to their needs and dote on them, because this demonstrates good fathering capability. However, humans aren't just flat evolutionary instinct, so culture fills in the gaps.

I think that, in most modernized societies, having multiple partners at once without the consent of everyone involved shows a decided lack in taste and good judgement. It's normal, I think, for people to have the desire for more than one partner - if you see two attractive individuals, wouldn't it be nice to have both? However, it's generally inappropriate.

Of course, there are couples who routinely enjoy liasons with other couples or individuals and are happy that way.

I suppose I don't care one way or another about polygamy. Monogamy is appropriate to a modernized society where one doesn't need to maximize the number of children one can produce. *shrug*

 

Well I think that part of monogomy is not spreading diseases. STDs, you know?

Anyway, I have no problem either way. But I'm probably gonna end up monogomous...if even that.

 

Well, awareness of how STDs are transmitted is a fairly recent thing. Granted, they're probably tied in with old beliefs that unfaithful spouses would be punished - people would see the connection between promiscuity and illness, and take that as a divine message to stay with their husband or wife. (Much like the belief in some cultures that pork should not be eaten - this is because pigs and humans can share a number of diseases, and so pork was considered "dirty" back in the day, before people understood about bacteria and viruses, and cross-species transmission.)

But at the same time, if all your relationships are within the same group of healthy individuals, STDs shouldn't be a concern. If you're a man with three wives, none of you has an STD, and no one is sleeping around outside of the marriage, it's not a problem.

 

I've often thought about this myself, but I never really came to a logical conclusion. Ah well, here goes.

Honestly I think it's almost a man's human nature to want multiple partners (or even a woman's though that's considerably more rare). Physical attraction isn't something you have any control over; it's hormones. There's nothing wrong with healthy physical attraction, and the offending spouse can't honestly be blamed for it, because, truthfully, they have no power over their hormones.

HOWEVER (and this is just my opinion), there's a difference between feeling physical attraction and acting on it. If the spouse truly loves their wife/husband, then the oath they pledged to each other will remain sacred, unless it's a consensual decision, and even then I speculate that the couple in question may not be as devoted to one another as they originally thought. But that's really an American viewpoint (not neccasarily American, but any society where mongamy is a common practice), for there ARE plenty of socities where polygamy is perfectly natural and not at all frowned upon.

This may sound ridiculously sappy, but I think that if a couple is truly devoted enough to one another, they'll have no desire to "cheat". (Well they might have desire, but they certainly won't even consider acting upon it).

 

I beleive it is in human nature to get board of the same thing over and over again. Though im young and still dont know what its like to have a life partner.

 

I think it's both human nature and a social condition. We live in a culture where polygamy is pretty much considered a social taboo but in other cultures polygamy is considered a natural way of life.

I think it's common for both men and women to feel attracted to someone else while in a relationship but if they truly care about the person they're with then they should be able to keep an attraction to another under control.

Im going to sound very closed-minded but I dont think I would be comfortable with being with a man who has other partners. I believe in one man, one woman in a relationship. I dont and will not share with other girls. If a guy wants to have a relationship with me but also has another girl, he'll have to make a choice.

 

While I wouldn't say I favor the "one man, one woman" idea - I think love is a little bit too complex for that - I'll agree that the idea of being part of a harem would NOT appeal to me. I also wouldn't want to be an only wife with multiple husbands. I think it's more appropriate to today's culture in developed countries to have only one partner - simply because having multiple spouses doesn't have the same benefits for us that it might in other cultures. Having many spouses can be more effective in some societies, but in ours, it seems like more of an invitation for trouble. Most of us are very used to the idea that we shouldn't have to share a lover.

 

Although I usually don't condone such activity, I would say from a neutral point of view that monogamy is wholy a social thing. If you take animals (after all, humans are animals), there are very, very few species on the planet that stick to one partner for most of their life. I can't agree more with what Dilandau has already said, and if I were to give my opinions on the subject, it would only be repeating what she already offered. :sweat2:

But case in point, I think it's mostly a social taboo to have more than one partner, although I myself am too selfish to willingly share a lover or wife/husband. So there you go.

 

well im confused first of all but if i think what i think shes thinkin :glazed: well i have never cheated on my girlfreind but i can tell u this relationship is mainly trust without trust there can be no relationship