Recreation Nephilim_X's Guide to Posting

1. Only the Mods and Admins are worth anything. These people can ban you. Befriend them. Subtley implant your values into them, and turn them into your puppets.

2. Newbies are good for one thing: ABUSE. You should, at the very least, give them a good poking. You'll notice in the past I've actually deployed a poking tank and a horde of laughing children.

The best is yet to come, including a T-1000.

3. Morals are optional. Remember, Machiavelli was a pretty cold hearted bastard when he wrote The Prince. And he was also successful. Coincidence? No.

4. Idiots are lower than your fecal matter and aren't even worthy of picking through your trash. If they can't use logic, or even some basic spelling and grammar, they are your oyster. Crack their shells and take the pearls.

5. You are the best person on the boards. Remember, everyones opinions, even the mods and admins, are insignificant. They are the candle to your star.

6. Everything's funnier when someone gets hurt.

7. Crybabies have no place in your world. Everyone has a down day or two, but if a person seems to get upset and suicidally depressed over the slightest, most insignificant things (like something in a video game), then you don't need to care. It helps to have a mantra. I, for example, say "Nephie hears ya, Nephie doesn't care."

8. Use bizarre catchphrases to instill a group mentality. Granted, my most recent attempt, "Fur das kapital", backfired somewhat. Do not be discouraged, most attempts are never even sigworthy.

9. Play Devil's Advocate. Not only will you learn how to debate well, you'll make sure that both sides are equally represented. Even if you don't believe in what you're defending.

10. Have a good sense of humor. In other words, relax.



For the weak minded I would like to point out that the vast, vast, VAST majority of this post is in jest.

 

A great summary,Neph.I couldn't have summed it up better.I avoided the newbie bash by stealthly slipping into the forums and posting everywhere.I didn't,however,post a newbie thread,because that would only announce it to everyone.It's just dumb,people.So unless you actually want to be bashed,try to do as I did.The sense of humor line is very important as well.There are a bunch of people here with senses of humor that are more dry than Russian Vodka.Just take it with a grain of salt,and laugh.It's no big deal.We're all friends here.Unless you insult us or the mods *cough*itwasme*cough*.Then you are as far from being our friend as possible. Of course,it also helps to have razor sharp wit like me.So if it comes time to be picked on,you are at least prepared.Then next time,those bastards will think twice.Thank you for your time.

-Blue Crow

 

*wipes a tear from his eye*

Judas... approves...

That was beautiful Neph... Beautiful...

- Ark

 

I'd have to go with the statement above

 

Izzy, I know its a joke, and you're just pretending to be a horrible horrible gestalt of all this boards most infamous trolls, but any more and... you'd have "accidents".

Additions.

11. Post count is not everything. A neat title, avatar, and signature finish it off.

12. Apparently, flirty jerks are adored. I mean, look at me. I should be the most reviled person on this board, especially given that I'm not too much like this in real life. Yet somehow I keep getting PMs asking for ASLs and giving me *KiSsEs*. From no less than 3 women this week. I'm quite serious. And no, I don't know them.

13. But have a soft, loving and wise side. That way they can't hate you without feeling guilty.

14. Ask for a source for any questionable statement. This one is serious. And no, "a friend" is not a valid source. Try a newspaper or tv news show (NAME IT!!!)

15. Don't screw with Megatron.

 

all i can do after reading nephs thread, is give a standing ovation. *applauds*. that seemed well thought out, and nicely written, easy on the eyes. id just like to add one little thought to the end of this post. everybody was a noobie at one point in time, but thought out posts, humor and friendliness, and the ability to say it was your fault completely automatically get my respect, and im sure other peoples respect. i think when you can do that, your not a noobie anymore.
that wasnt exatcly little, but who cares.
my two cents

 

*claps hands and wipes tear from the eye*

Absolute Wonderful My Dear Neph!

...Amazing, Beautiful! WONDERFUL!

*sniffle*

 

What you going to abuse me? i would like to see you try.
Otherwise its all pretty good.

 

I think you forgot one

16. Have a bunch of wanna be groupies who agree with every thing you say, praise your every word and generally kiss your *** at every opportunity.

 

so who are you trying to say is a wannabe groupie? id like to here this one. actually, id like to read this one

 

I guess you could call it an entourage.
Also see point number 10.

 

Simply follow my guidelines and the groupies will come.

As I have noted above, there seems to be some bizarre pheremone at work, or else I wouldn't be getting so many PMs from women (a fair chunk of them new) asking for ASL and giving me *KiSsIeS*.

Furthermore, the sheer number of other people who seem to follow me to an extent (for example, Alakai, user18, Blue_Crow are just three) is intriguing.

THEN theres the circle of "equals", like DrunkLeprechaun, Bunsie n k0ge.

Then theres the people who should -probably- look down or be equal but seem to look up, like That Guy!

 

And then theres the High Priest of Judas, always waiting for your back to turn Praise Judas!

- Ark

 

I'm a follower?I do my own thing!I'm dependant on no one! I just like to complement your ever hilarious comments,as apposed to Alakai just kissing your *** because he douesn't want to get flamed.Oh well,It's better than being looked down on.Although I am outraged to see that I am in the same list as Alakai.

 

heheh, all I gotta do is plant the seed and let it grow.
Mwahahah

 

Ok....lets see Nephilim_X, my motto: "Gods busy, may i help you." so devils advocate...check....send you posts ask for asl, did that a month ago.... so yah...... does that make me a follower? *blinks*

:catgirl:

 

*Beep*This is your pilot speaking.If you look out of the left side of the plane,you'll notice a bunch of gullable members.And If you take a quick glance out of the right side,you'll see a giant ego.Let's do a quick recap of saftey skills.In case of an emergency,remain calm and report to the nearest exit in an orderly manner.And remember that the things Blue Crow says should rarely be taken seriously.And if you happen to do so,please be aware of the ensuing hilarity.Now if you would be so kind to put your trays into their upright position,we are about to land.*Beep*

 

Damn. I should have just shut up.
Now everyones just hunky dory(first time I ever used that term) with it.
I guess I'll have to bide my time once more.