Debate Online relationships- real or not?

I would like to debate wither or not online relationship (e-relationship, internet relationship, or whatever they go by) as in "dating" is considered real or not.

For those who don't know I really don't see how they could be real with out certain factors. It boils down to meeting the person a lot.

Let's look at this as logically and with out flaming.

So let’s debate.

 

Well it isn't really (Real) as you have said till you meet them. I beileve to many people are flipping out upon the internet with online realationships. Quite a few girls where I live have been raped or killed because of them just spilling everything. There name (As in full name) where they live, there age, all of it. I don't have anything against an online relaitionship, but those who get into them need to be carful just what they say and do. Web cam is the only real way to tell if they are who they say. The person they are speaking to is most likely not who they say they are, and this mostly go's for guys. (No offense to those who are honest online) If your going to get into one, atleast use some common sense wich god has given you and use your brain and don't beileve everything they say. I think there ok, as long as you use your head and are able to tell what someone is doing online. Like if they ask for your number, or your name. Stuff like that are clues that should show that this person is obviously trying to squeeze info about yourself out of you. Caution Caution Caution MUST be taken when on the internet.

 

I think they are as real as a relationship in real life. The internet is simply another mode of communication, the same as telephone, snail mail... the only thing is you don't see the person's face.

It is quite possible to fall in love with someone you've never met. Hell, I've done exactly that. Once you do meet the person, it's among the greatest joys you could possibly experience.

Obviously, caution must be observed, however, trust and love go hand in hand. Once you know someone very well, you can just kinda tell... and that should be even more true when you're in a relationship.

 

Can you form a healthy and promising relationship with someone you've never met before? Yes. I believe so.

I think if people can beleive in a God they've never seen, what gives us the right to doubt that they can love someone they've never met in person?

I think of it this way.. If I can talk to someone and it sparks a feeling in me, like I'm burning slowly on the inside and I enjoy it.. And I want to talk to them again, look forward to it and feel that way over a period of time, what do I care that I can't see them right away?

If all works out, I'll go ahead and go out of my way to be with that person, even move out of home and closer to them. It does take time though. Time to build and time to grow, etc. But that's fine because if you have the time, why fight it?

I guess I look at this from the point of someone who knows, not someone who can't connect with people they've never met. :3

I'm clingy, and attach easily because I can see the good in people, no matter how I'm talking with them. And yeah, maybe I'm naive and alittle risky to trust some, but I'm alright with that. If I get burned in the long run, I'll learn and move on.

And if I find that person who just makes me happy, and loves me, then I've done the right thing I suppose.

 

Do you realize your comparing god to online relationship? O.O

God is the answer to the question people had asked about how we got here. That is why you see God or a form of God springing up everywhere even though God has been disproved by evolution. Evolution has been proven in practice and with the pervious remains. Sad they still call it theory because people can’t see to the facts because they cling to their beliefs to much. I truly fear for them and their children. God is also a theory for God has never been proven.

The doubt is how we procreate. Humans have always been a species that needs physical contact. You can’t get physical contact on the internet. Instant messages, PMs, email, snail mail, webcams, and phone conversations are also no where near physical contact.

Is the heart that fickle?

Falling in love with a profile isn’t smart. Caution should be taken. For those who don’t look at all the people have been raped, sexually assaulted, murdered, and etc because they met someone in real life from the internet.

I have heard “I’ve met them via instant message and etc. And I love them.” You fallen for an image anyone can paint online. If anything its a simple crush unless your heart is that fickle. And then maybe they should fix themselves.

Whatever happened to not trusting strangers?

Now we have the internet that allows strangers to parade in our kitchens.

Don't get me wrong I like the internet. But with killers, people who rape, people who sexually assault, murders, and etc out there why would you let them get to know you online. No one would ask a “High Risk” Sex Offender to have tea with them inside their homes. Why would you give out your information on the internet?

 

LMAO oh man Basher thats good, wouldn't invite a sex offender for tea lol. True, and I very much see your point. However I know 3 couples, well my parents friends, who were once dating online. Now married with kids. Online realationships can go somewere, depending on the people. I never wanted to date anyone online, but I happened to meet someone who is very special to me online, and it kinda went from there. From friends, to good friends. To telling one another things we wouldn't normally tell people to what its at now.
I would much rather be with someone in real life than online. I agree with you Basher, that the human does desire physical contact, and the internet is not it.

 

Heh, in this day and age, everyone can be a stranger. But I can't ask everyone I meet for some I.D. or proof of who they are. It's not how I want to live.

Yes, we have rapists and predators online, but we have them offline too. Look around your neighborhood and I bet there's atleast one pedaphile, rapist, or criminal there.

You're right. We put faith in a figure that we have not seen or met. And as I look at it, you can do the same into a person you have not seen or met before. Faith is what drives humanity, makes us push ourselves and continue living.

Faith.. Yeah, I guess I have alot of it. I have alot in God, and alot in people. I can't have a pesimistic point of view on this because some of my closest friends are online. I've moved around all my life and leaving people behind hurts. But I keep in touch with them over the computer, and though I can't see them, I can say honestly that I care just as much about them as I did before. ;3

So, call me stupid. Call my heart fickle. Call me out and say what you want, but I'm happy with my life. And if that's so horrible, then what should I be?

 

Yourself! Dats who you should be! Theres nothing wrong with your fickle heart as you call it. You have a point of veiw, and if thats what you think and beileve, then you should keep on beileving in it. Were all different.

I think you had a good point Chance, no matter where we look, rapists, murderers are everywhere. Its basically kinda the same as talking to a stranger in real life.

 

The fact is it's a very small minority that the media oversensationalizes into big issues.

That said, nobody said internet relationships had to stay internet relationships. I've known of more than one occasion where someone has moved a great distance to be with someone they met online... and I know of several more where this is wished to be.

 

I was in an internet "relationship" way back when...though it really wasn't serious...it was more of a bubbly "puppy love" type thing. It was fun and sucky all at the same time. I'm a very touchy person. I like to be able to snuggle and hug, and hold hands and kiss, so it was only about half of a relationship for me. I mean I believe it is possible make a connection with someone online, but I also believe that to have a full relationship not only do you need the emotional and mental connection and what not, but you need to have that physical conenction aswell. I'm not saying it's all about being physical, but for me, it's one piece needed to complete the puzzle. I know everyone is different. Some people can make do with only verbal communication like the telephone or internet. I can't.

 

There is a very fine line between "not trusting strangers" and "being overly paranoid". You're crossing that line. You're comparing every single possible online relationship to the only hear of result; death and rape. Those are the ones that matter to the public, because our somber society has to be informed about such hazards. But when was the last time you heard on the news about how two people met on the internet, met in real life and went out together and lived with each other happily. Even if they ended up getting a divorce, say, two, three years down the line or decided they weren't right for each other. All the stupid MySpace 14 year old kids pulling the most idiotic moves because they think they're "responsible" gives you the right to dump on anything -good- that could come out of it, just because you only hear about the -bad- on the television? Yeah, I guess that's your right, since it's your opinion. It's also your right to be a closed-minded and opionated idiot and jerk-off. Infact, I'm enacting that right this very second. And people wonder what's wrong with America...

You said from the beginning that it boils down to meeting someone, and it does. But yet, all you seem to want to do is make that boiling overflow by saying only bad can come from it.

Now, you can delete my post for flaming.

 

You should think, thinking is the on most important thing in life, and very much apllies to online relationships. I appear not to with my bad spelling, however lol Its just I am not a very good typer at all. Well to some up me being in this thread. I think online relationships are good. But when in one, just use extreme caution. Just as if you were in real life, cause it really is more real than some of us realize.

 

Truthfully, the only idea Basher stresses is how badly a relationship can end up.. I can't be that pessimistic I suppose. I've noticed alot of close mindedness on this issue from both sides though, so I can't say I have the answer to it. I can only say this: The person I have intrest in, I met online. Do I trust him? Yes. Do I think it will be another stupid online, bullshit fling? Nah. I know better then to get into a fling. :3

 

And the fact is this is possible in real life as well. Not everyone you meet online is dishonest, and by the same token not everyone you meet IRL is honest. An online relationship is just as viable, in my opinion, as an offline relationship.

Of course, it does matter from person to person, I think.

 

Oversensationalize? First off that isn’t a word. The media is saying just like you should have been taught as a kid to not trust strangers even on line. Cases like this are springing up everywhere. So it is no longer a small minority.

And that’s how it becomes real. I wanted to debate the ones that have never met wither or not those could be considered real.

I am beginning to wonder if you have ever passed a reading class.

Now moving on.

*grumbles* I don’t post for a few days and then everyone assumes…

Anyway.

I like how those here chose to ignore this and it still stands instead they pounce on the later which was misinterpreted.

Get to know them online.

Information on the internet.

All, I did was say one thing about a warning. Take caution.


With all that said I’ll say it a little more clearly. Even now I see it as not being clear enough.

I would like to debate online relationship wither or not they are real for those who have NEVER met.

They fact that those live together should be considered real that gets pass the whole playing house thing.

Why single these out?

They met before held hands and etc. –Real
They live together. –Real

What do you know it is no longer then an "online" relationship only.

Even I have to say there are obvious factors that make them real.

So with all that said I will leave you all with this. I know I left it open to debate but that is what makes a debate fun.

Profiles online/people are like giving everyone the gift to paint. Which means anyone can paint an image of them selves online. Technically speaking then it’s like falling in love with an image not the actual person which makes it the most important part of a genuine relationship.

 

Okay, after reading this thread and thinking about it, I feel like people in general that are in love with another and people that are just on the internet have been insulted by some of you, I feel like that. Even if we are thinking about, choose not to think about it, or don't really know themselves, we take risks coming online anyway everyday and every time we get on. Posting anything about something you like is giving information about yourself. Sure its just a small thing but its still information. Even talking to people has its risks. PMs are a good example. One person and another talk and get to know each other or talk about something else all together. You don't really know the person at first and he/she could be any number of things, we all take risks on the internet either we know about it or not. Is it always safe to be online? Yes and no because only you have the power to give information about yourself away and other things as well. That is the only thing you're going to be able to protect yourself with against murders and the like on the internet. What ever you do with yourself on the internet is your own risk, either it be from just talking to someone, talking about things like this debate or from falling in love with someone. There will always be a risk to everything you do on the internet...and even in life.

 

Indeed you are right, Lance... and then the question becomes "Is the risk worth the potential gain?"

It then becomes a personal choice of whether to choose "yes" or "no."

 

Very true indeed.

And I guess we all choose "yes" because if we choose "no", would any of us be here now?

 

Only to a certain degree, however, because while you may not object to posting on a forum, you may object to meeting someone in person that you barely know, from that same forum... for example, if I were to meet you in person, I'd admittedly be somewhat wary.

On the subject of an online romance, however... I think it's pretty safe to say that once you've grown to trust someone enough to be in that kind of relationship with them, you'd be able to trust them enough to meet them in person, and that they'd be what they said they were. If not, then why are you in the relationship in the first place?

 

You all make good points, and I agree. Why are you in it you ask Rei (Its ok if I call you that right, your name is so long) Perhaps its that the person, is still loving and seeing the other person as they were online. And just can't see past the fact that there not? IDK, im starting to confuse myself lol