Creative Writing Read my story and tell what you think...

Hey guys...this is my first-ever post on this message board...
Anyway, Im writing a story. Well, its not really a story, more like a trilogy of sorts...

After you're through...tell me what you think...

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The stories take place in a futuristic/post-victorian reality...
People live there lives without worry (monsters are a thing of the past...)

In this world, there is only one human empire. This empire is nestled in between what people of this world called solar-rifts. More on that later. Humans live in the planet-city of Seraphtim. As it's name implies, it spands almost the whole planet. This city has everything a city needs. (Think the colonies in Gundam)

Humanity is however..not the dominant civilization on this planet. Far into the sky, live "The Angels". A race of uber-powerful beings who are believed to be fallen-gods by the humans( hence their name) The Angels believe in a strange system of beliefs and disciplines that forbid them to use their abilities to their max.

The Angels live, train, and die in a giant monolith called "The Gate"
This"Gate"is believed to be the portal to another plain of existance by the humans.

The Angels also believe in something called "The Circle". The Circle is what makes everything stable in the universe...
It is also the device that tells the Angels when to attack the humans.

Every century or so, the Angels send an angel to completely level the human civilization. This Angel destroys the city but spares the current leader, some militants, laborers, and the children...


That is the prologue of book-one
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The first part of the trilogy deals with Klein, the angel chosen to destroy the humans.


Mid-Journey into his mission...he meets a human family. He becomes attached to this family. He then witnesses human life at its greatness and splendor. He suddenly experiences a change-of-heart and becomes the first Angel to defect towards the human side...

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Book Two takes place !3 years after Klein's betrayal...



The Grand-Kaiser of the Angels learns of Klein's defection. He sends a new Angel, Slade to destroy Klein and to finish the job...
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Book Three basically follows Slade as he tries to defeat Klein...


so, what do you guys think?....
I think it's a pretty cool concept...maybe I can even make it an RPG or something...

 

its a pretty cool story dude...........and who knows maybe you could turn it into a rpg. well thats it for my post, only am supoosed to just say my opinion

 

I must admit, I like the idea for your story.

Now you just have to write it! Having an idea is one thing, and being able to create a believable world and story within your context is another. To be perfectly honest, I would prefer that most of what you say in your prologue is revealed within the context of the story, showing your world and its workings to the reader, rather than spelling everything out in the beginning.

But that's just my opinion.
-Odin

 

Yeah! What he said......LOL

 

Cool...but it sounds like it could be done in two books. But I have no idea what you're planning to fill in later, so go for it!

 

Maybe it could be done in one.(if it was a 531 1/2 page book) As for now Im trying to break my wirters block.

 

Hmmmm....perhaps....

By the way...this is the original poster.

As a matter of fact..I will shorten it to two books. Thanks...I thought that my story kind of sucked...so I posted on here to see what you guys thought...

Turns out I was wrong

 

Wow^^

Cool storybase, when are u going to start posting some more of it?^^