Creative Writing Reality's Justice

This is my first post as far as writing goes on M2A, yet please be as critical as possible. I don't like being seen as a sort of person who can't take criticism. Yet if you TRULY find it good, tell me so.

Reality's Justice:

What is this?
Life is a challenge?
If I put my mind to it,
I can do anything I want.
I shall spread my will to my goals,
and I will look back on frustrated faces that couldn't.
There is nothing that can stand in my way,
and all it would take is one touch from me, and it will be done.
The clouds of the sky will brush against my cheeks.
The earth will be torn assunder merely because I exist.
The light I will beckon forth,
and the darkness I will shun with a gesture.

What is this?
A madman with a toy?
Does he truly think he can harm ME with a such a wierd looking mechanism?
I am invincible, invulnerable, immortal!
What a strange, loud bang that toy makes...

What is this?
Red liquid coming from my mouth.
Red liquid coming from a hole on me I have never seen before.
I didn't tell it to come out.
I didn't want it to spill.
I didn't will it to come forth.
So why is it coming out???

What is this?
Darkness coming to my eyes.
I will you to go away darkness.
What?
You still advance around me?
I SAID LEAVE!
Why can't I move??
Why do I hurt??
Why... won't... the dark..ness.....leave......



Well? what do you think? Feedback, please!

 

hmm

hmmmmmm bravo...u got talent in some....sort of...way...reminds me when i got dumped by my 1st girlfriend :'( :bleed:

 

Basically, this is saying that whomever allows their imagination to take them too far, they will be brought back down to earth, and it will usually be in the most discomforting ways. Hence, reality has justice upon those who can't differentiate imagination from the real world. I wish someone would have told me about context and grammatical errors lol, but that's ok.