Humour Redneck Dictionary

I came across this thought I would share. This is the redneck dictionary.

BARD - verb. Past tense of the infinitive "to borrow."
Usage: "My brother bard my pickup truck."

JAWJUH - noun. A highly flammable state just north of Florida.
Usage: "My brother from Jawjah bard my pickup truck."

MUNTS - noun. A calendar division.
Usage: "My brother from Jawjuh bard my pickup truck, and I aint herd from him in munts."

IGNERT - adjective. Not smart. See "Auburn Alumni."
Usage: "Them N-C-TWO-A boys sure are ignert!"

RANCH - noun. A tool.
Usage: "I think I left my ranch in the back of that pickup truck my brother from Jawjuh
bard a few munts ago."

ALL - noun. A petroleum-based lubricant.
Usage: "I sure hope my brother from Jawjuh puts all in my pickup truck."

FAR - noun. A conflagration.
Usage: "If my brother from Jawjuh doesn't change the all in my pickup truck, that things
gonna catch far."

BAHS - noun. A supervisor.
Usage: "If you don't stop reading these Southern words and git back to work, your bahs is
gonna far you!"

TAR - noun. A rubber wheel.
Usage: "Gee, I hope that brother of mine from Jawjuh doesn't git a flat tar in my pickup
truck."

TIRE - noun. A tall monument.
Usage: "Lord willing and the creeks don't rise, I sure do hope to see that Eiffel Tire in
Paris sometime."

HOT - noun. A blood-pumping organ.
HOD - adverb. Not easy.
Usage: "A broken hot is hod to fix."

RETARD - Verb. To stop working.
Usage: "My granpaw retard at age 65."

TARRED - adverb. Exhausted.
Usage: "I just flew in from Hot-lanta, and boy my arms are tarred."

RATS - noun. Entitled power or privilege.
Usage: "We Southerners are willing to fight for out rats."

LOT - adjective. Luminescent.
Usage: "I dream of Jeanie in the lot-brown hair."

FARN - adjective. Not local.
Usage: "I cudnt unnerstand a wurd he sed ... must be from some farn country."

DID - adjective. Not alive.
Usage: "He's did, Jim."

EAR - noun. A colorless, odorless gas (unless you are in LA).
Usage: "He can't breathe ... give 'em some ear!"

BOB WAR - noun. A sharp, twisted cable.
Usage: "Boy, stay away from that bob war fence."

JU-HERE - a question.
Usage: "Juhere that former Dallas Cowboys' coach Jimmy Johnson recently toured the
University of Alabama?"

HAZE - a contraction.
Usage: "Is Bubba smart?" "Nah ... haze ignert."

SEED - verb, past tense.
VIEW - contraction: verb and pronoun.
Usage: "I ain't never seed New York City ... view?"

HEAVY DEW - phrase. A request for action.
Usage: "Kin I heavy dew me a favor?"

GUMMIT - Noun. An often-closed bureaucratic institution.
Usage: "Great ... ANOTHER gummit shutdown!

 

these are good Ive heard of few of them before.

 

Wow, didn't even know that existed. It's great to understand people! Still, I think learning THAT is gonna be harder than learing japanese

Git'R done!

-Seishin

 

XD... Wow, that's just odd. Some of those words looked familiar to me, others didn't. I couldn't imagine talking like that. Life would be so hard to understand... ._.

Er, Git'R Done! Gah I couldn't resist. :anime:

 

*Gasp* they forgot yall and aint... For shame, makin' fun of the South and not including those. I can't believe it. If you're gonna make fun of Bama, do it right. The writen word lacks the subtle nuances found in the Southern dialect.
Oh and Seishin... you're from Florida. Florida isn't part of the South; It has it's own little culture.

 

"Bala-Amba, Cap'tal's Mont-gum-reh. Yeah."

I second that Florida is it's own little religion.

I love it Basher.

~W

 

For you poor Northern folks who either can't figure out what some redneck is sayin' to ya, are for some reason curious about the attrociousness that makes up stereotypical Southern dialect, or just want to further laugh at the seeming (and probably proven) stupidity of the South.... I found a much more complete Dictionary... The Southern Word Homepage.

 

Yikes, ah durn didn't thank thar'd be THAT much uvvit. Right scary, t'almos' is, gawrsh.

 

Yam liv'n in Missera we dun tallk tew southern.

It is bad when the Missouri Governer calls Miss-zer-E , Miss-zer-uh on TV. I don't think that I talk bad, although some friends and I will be talking and start making fun of our selfs for our "southern words". Haha

But nice basher.