Recreation Ridiculous 911 Calls

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by Yasuko, Aug 27, 2003.

  1. Yasuko

    Yasuko I beg your pudding?

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    I got this in a forwarder... some of them are a little funny and some are not. Some sound like pranks.

    Real 911 Calls, believe or not

    Dispatcher: Nine-one-one What is your emergency?
    Caller: Someone broke into my house and took a bite out of my ham and cheese sandwich.
    Dispatcher: Excuse me?
    Caller: I made a ham and cheese sandwich and left it on the kitchen table and when I came back from the bathroom, someone had taken a bite out of it.
    Dispatcher: Was anything else taken?
    Caller: No, but this has happened to me before and I'm sick and tired of it.

    Dispatcher: Nine-one-one
    Caller: Hi, is this the police?
    Dispatcher: This is 911. Do you need police assistance?
    Caller: Well, I don't know who to call. Can you tell me how to cook a turkey? I've never cooked one before.

    Dispatcher: Nine-one-one What is the nature of your emergency?
    Caller: I'm trying to reach nine eleven but my phone doesn't have an eleven on it.
    Dispatcher: This is nine eleven.
    Caller: I thought you just said it was nine-one-one
    Dispatcher: Yes, ma'am nine-one-one and nine-eleven are the same thing.
    Caller: Honey, I may be old, but I'm not stupid.

    Dispatcher: Nine-one-one What's the nature of your emergency?
    Caller: My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes apart.
    Dispatcher: Is this her first child?
    Caller: No, you idiot! This is her husband

    Dispatcher: Nine-one-one
    Caller: Yeah, I'm having trouble breathing. I'm all out of breath. Darn...I think I'm going to pass out.
    Dispatcher: Sir, where are you calling from?
    Caller: I'm at a pay phone. North and Foster. Damn......
    Dispatcher: Sir, an ambulance is on the way. Are you an asthmatic?
    Caller: No
    Dispatcher: What where you doing before you started having trouble breathing?
    Caller: Running from the police.
    Dispatcher: Nine-one-one What is your emergency?
    Caller: I heard what sounded like gunshots coming from the brown house on the corner.
    Dispatcher: Do you have an address?
    Caller: No, I'm wearing a blouse and slacks,why?
     
    #1
    Yasuko, Aug 27, 2003
  2. Lady Shadow-san

    Lady Shadow-san New Member

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    I was the one who took the bite outta that ham and cheese sandwich... and maaaaaaaaaaan was it good!
    Just kiddin!

    Ha ha ha these are great!
     
    #2
    Lady Shadow-san, Aug 27, 2003
  3. Nakoruru

    Nakoruru New Member

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    Some of these are funny, but some are not, where did you get them? I think this one is cool.

    Dispatcher: Nine-one-one What's the nature of your emergency?
    Caller: My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes apart.
    Dispatcher: Is this her first child?
    Caller: No, you idiot! This is her husband
     
    #3
    Nakoruru, Aug 27, 2003
  4. Yasuko

    Yasuko I beg your pudding?

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    lol. I didn't think people would find them funny. And TT, it was in a forwarder! I like this one:

    Dispatcher: Nine-one-one What is the nature of your emergency?
    Caller: I'm trying to reach nine eleven but my phone doesn't have an eleven on it.
    Dispatcher: This is nine eleven.
    Caller: I thought you just said it was nine-one-one
    Dispatcher: Yes, ma'am nine-one-one and nine-eleven are the same thing.
    Caller: Honey, I may be old, but I'm not stupid.

    The ham and cheese one has to be a prank. Nobody is that dumb.
     
    #4
    Yasuko, Aug 27, 2003
  5. Ciel

    Ciel Unoa Freak
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    I got these from a book called 'What's the Number for 911'

    Caller: "Could you send the police to my house?"
    Call-taker: "What's wrong there?"
    Caller: "I called and someone answered the phone, but I'm not there."

    Caller: "Am I talking to a real person, or this a recording?"

    Caller (on realizing the police are on the way):
    "Get the keg outta here, dude!"

    Caller: "He's not breathing!"
    Call-taker: "Can you get the phone close to him?
    Caller: "WHY? You want to hear he's not breathing, too?"

    Complaint about a stolen mailbox:
    Call-taker: "What is your address?" Caller: "It's gone."

    Caller: "I'm scared, I just got a Ouija board for my birthday, and now there's writing on my wall and I can't get it off ... this thing is going back to K-Mart first thing in the morning!

    and here's some more:

    A thirteen-year-old boy called to report he had "stuff" coming from his navel. Paramedics examined the boy and all they found was belly-button lint.

    A lady called 911 because of a fight going on in a parking lot. When asked to describe the combatants, she said: "I'll try. There's one man, and he's dressed like Elvis. He's kicking another man who's laying on the ground and screaming 'You ain't nothing but a hound dog.'"

    A guy called to ask if they delivered dope. When the person answering told him it was the Sheriff's Department, he hung up.



    Get the keg outta here, dude! hahaha
     
    #5
    Ciel, Aug 27, 2003

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