RPG Requests RPG Request: Battle of the Realms

For us humans today, there’s only three kinds of places one can go to: Earth, Heaven, or Hell... It is said that when you die, you go to the Nexus. Then nexus is a very small arena that had two portals, one portal led to heaven, and one portal led to hell. When people died, it was up to their souls to see to it were they would spend the rest of their life. If one’s sould was pure enough, he or she could go through Heaven’s portal. But if a person was evil, their souls couldn’t be able to pass through heaven’s portal, and they had no choice but to go through the portal that leads through hell.
Unknown to humans, Earth was nothing but a realm, a realm buuilt on technology, power, greed. Some even say that Earth is sometimes worse than hell itself. But on the year 8997, the human kind would unfortunately pay for all their sins. On the year 2000, scientists around the world came to the conclusion that one day, the Earth would not be able to hold its habitans. Going back to 8997, the Sun could not hold it anymore. As it was predicted long ago, the sun had finally burned out. The sun was now a shineless star, and the Earth was turned into a very dark place. The human kind had a lot of technology on their hands that could help them survive without a sun, but it would cost money, and lots of it. This was an outrage for only few people were rich enough to only parts of this tecnology. Earth was once again blinded by greed. Town by Town, State by State, humans just kept dying. Without a sun, there is no plants, nor cultivation. Without those, the humans had but two choices, to die of starvation, or to die of suffocation. It took no more thatn 7 days for the entire population of the earth to die. Earth was now a souless place.
Once that happened, Heaven’s God, and Hell’s God had no choice but together, make the entire human universe exist no more. From now on, there would only be two place, Heaven and Hell. They thought it was over, finally the Human race can sleep in peace. Unfortunately, they were wrong. Since so many people, animals, and other living things died, neither Heaven or Hell could hold up to that many souls in one time. So the Gods agreed to do one thing, and that was to look for two humans each, so new realms could be created, and they each had a God to keep the balance. The new Realms were built, and old ones were changed. Heaven was cahnged into Edenia, and was ruled by the same god as heaven. Hell was changed into the Nether ealm, Ruled by Lucifer. The first new realm was the Chaos realm, where only chaos was accepted, and you could never die. To counter it, there was the order Realm, were only complete order was accepted. Any kind of unorganization would cause a person to be put in jail for many years and be trialed for execution. The third new Realm was the Realm of Dispair. The realm of dispair was different than the Nethe realm, this place was more evil. On Nether, the habitants lived in a cold and dark place, and their souls were to wonder around for eternity. But Dispair was different. People there would get tortured for an eternity, withouth diying, without eating, and without stoping. The last new realm was The Realm of Dreams. In this realm, one’s desires would be fullfiled, unless they interfere with anyone elses life. And so it was that the six realms were chosen, but God’s for the new ones weren’t. Still, Lucifer and Edenia’s god decided to let the people in the realms, so they wouldn’t stay in the Nexus for long. One by one, they took their path. Some liked their path, some didn’t.
Once Every one was gone, Lucifer and Edenia decided to lock the Realms up, so no one could ever escape and cause havoc around realms they aren’t supposed to be in. And they decided to put they keys to the realms (The keys look like amulets) on the one unrechable place, the Nexus itself. Once they finished their task, they parted ways, to choose their new gods. It was all over, or so they thought. It seems they missed one person in the Nexus. A man named Alexander was left in the Nexus by himself. Alexander was a very evil person when the world existed, he was supposed to go to the Realm of Dispair, but he stayed in neutral. Then, he saw the Keys to the Realms there in the Nexus. For a long time he studied them, and learned their secrets that the two Gods did not want anyone to know.
By themselves, the Keys only have the power to open the gates of the Realms, but together, these things could do anything they wanted to. It took him a thousand years, but Alexander finally managed to absorb their power. Now the Keys were usless. Thus he thought to himself that there was only one thing left to do: Kill Edenia and Lucifer. He went to both realms and battled both of the Gods. Lucifer and Edenia put up a good fight, but the force of Alexander with the Keys was to strong, they were both defeated. Once his task was done, he could rule all six of the realms. But unknown to him, In both the Nether and Edenia Realms, the new Gods were being chosen, and their soldiers were being trained. When to reacruits learned about Alexander’s powers, they decided it was time to finally choose the 6 new Gods that would lead the new soldiers into battle with Alexander. Who will be chosen as a God of a Realm? Will there be anyone brave enough to stand up to the mighty powers of Alexander? If so, who will it be?
To be led into battle, whoever chose to fight had to first be trained, or prove themselves worthy of fihting without training on a camp set up in the Order Realm. There, is where the Gods will be chosen. Will the power of all the realms be strong enough to stand up to Alexander?

HOW IT STARTS: When Alexander learned about the realms uniting, he conjured up lots of powers from the Keys and built himself 6 armies. This means that to get to Alexander, they first need to get through the Army of the Six Realms.

(NOTE: Soldiers can be one of the following: Sorceres, Wizards, Warriors, or Elites [ people that fight with human weaponry].[If I forgot a kind of soldier that should be chosen, feel free to tell me and I will add it.] Also there is only 7 pre-made character in this here RPG.That is Alexander and the Gods.But keep in mind that people must take the place of the Gods. Once all the soldiers are chosen, the Gods will lead each of their armies any way they like. But this doesn’t mean that soldiers don’t get to have a say in what they do either.)

Point: If you are a God, you want to be a God of one of the realms, please make sure that you can login many times a day so you can be up to date with everything. Also, if you get chosen for Alexander's role, it is very likely that you might get to kill somebody.

 

Dear SakataKentaro,

There are a few reasons why I'm rejecting your RPG. The ideas are all right, but they need polishing. Your presentation lacks clarity and your lack of paragraphing is harsh on the eyes. Furthermore, you should try to keep your ideas a little more linear and simple. Chances are, the RPG will become more complex on its own as it progresses- you don't have to give away the entire plot right at the beginning. If it were accepted, you could nudge the story in the right direction as it was played.

Thanks very much for your idea, and you will be allowed to try again next month if you want me to accept it. Otherwise, one of the other moderators may want it.

--MT

 

I completely agree with Meaikoh, especially on these two points: The presentation and the lack of paragraphing. Please work on that when/if you decide to grace us with a new RPG request next month.

Furthermore, please try not to include predefined characters. These are obstacles to imagination.

 

Thank you for repliying to me so quickly (both of you), I appreaciate your comments and hopefuly i will fix my errors and tweak the story a little bit (like take out the gods and Alexander), but i don't quite understad the part where you said that i lack of paragraphing. Maybe i'm just don't but i don't get it, so can you please tell me what tat means in english so maybe i'll know what to do?
Nevertheless, thank you again for taking your time on reading the RPG!!

 

Dear Sakata,

When we speak of paragraphing, we mean that when you begin a new idea, you must begin a new paragraph, and when you begin a new paragraph, you must either indent or leave a line break. This makes the text easier to read.

Look, I just made a new paragraph to show you how! This paragraph is about how I made a paragraph so that you would know what I meant.

--MT