Creative Writing Science Fiction.

I couldn't think of a better name for this topic, since I've just begun to write my own science fiction story and I haven't thought of a title yet. With that said, it's nowhere near complete and there isn't much I want to give away about it except that it does not involve any odd-looking aliens (though extra terrestrials will be involved), nor does it include time travel/wars with giant robots/star-wars-esque laser weapons. Oh yes, and it begins on Earth (after the small introduction, which isn't addressed as of now but will come into play later on in the story).

This is my first effort at a rather serious sci-fi story, and honest critique is most welcome (but if you are going to critique, please be serious about it. Don't just skim over and think "gee, look at all that"). THANK YOU to those that care.

As of now, it's only about two pages. Paragraphs are broken by lines since my indentations don't register with the boards.

Tell me what you guys think!

Please?

-Odin

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It would hardly be fair to call this race of extra-terrestrials “alien,” for in all aspects conceivable to the casual observer’s eye they wouldn’t appear any different from the average human. In fact, if that observer knew that their bodies’ internal structures, functions, chemical balances, and logic patterns were quite the same as that of humans, he or she would not be able to tell the difference at all. The essential fact was, however, that they were not.


* * *

“How is the project proceeding, Goldman?” asked the Director.

Goldman stood at attention, answering, “Extremely well, sir.”

“Good,” responded the Director, who motioned for Goldman to take a seat. He did so, and handed his report to the Director. “I expect that things will be completed in approximately fifty years?”

“That’s correct, sir.”

“Have you decided on your successor?”

“Yes, sir.”

“Who will it be?”

Goldman withdrew an envelope from his briefcase, handing it with as much formality as he could muster. The Director opened the envelope, revealing the name and other standard information that needed to be provided for a successor. He managed to stifle a small gasp.

“Jason Scott?” whispered the director, as he laid the envelope and its contents down onto his desk.

With the progression of science, religion did not falter. At least, it did not become as extinct as many had speculated. There were some who were under the school of thought, however, that believers in any such “higher-powers,” be it Brahman, God, or whatever it/they were named, were less capable of working in certain scientific fields. Their argument was that it would inhibit their judgment, and observer bias could affect the laboratory’s progress in an undesirable manner. While religious tolerance certainly existed within many parties, it did not sit well with a select few.

Scott was a so-called “believer,” which did not sit so well with the Director.
Goldman knew of the Director’s position on the matter, but that did not concern him. He sat comfortably in his chair and tapped his foot to a silent beat. “Is there a problem, sir?”

“You are a typical scientist like myself,” said the Director, “so I must trust your judgment. I cannot change your decision as it is, since you have spearheaded this project and Dr. Scott does not have any records in his history that would lead me to doubt this quality.” He hastily put Goldman’s report and papers into his own files, indicating that the meeting was over.

“Thank you, Director,” said Goldman as he got up to leave.

Goldman went into his own office. A nameplate rested on his desk: “Robert T. Goldman, Algo Laboratories,” it read. Thousands of laboratories were set up around the United States, each with its own specific purpose. The original purpose of this one was to observe certain phenomenon surrounding the Algo star system. Its current project, however, involved a joint effort between other national and international laboratories for one single purpose: interstellar space travel and observation. Goddard laboratories provided the original funding for the project, but Goldman was the real motivator to persuade the Director that they should join. Thus, it was Goldman’s responsibility to carry out the laboratory’s duties concerning this project. The Director was simply an overseer of the various projects of his lab, and it was his job to ensure that things would get done, and get done on time.

Goldman rocked back in his chair, letting his thoughts carry him away as the sun died down in the distance. “Five more years,” he said to himself, “and I’ll be done with this.” He was past the prime of his abilities, and while his motivation towards the project was as high as it was since day one, he had to pass on his job to somebody more capable to continue his work. “That’s the problem with long term projects,” he thought, “you can’t see them to the end yourself. You have to trust that the future generation is willing to continue; you must have faith in the future.” Faith. That was something he put into his work, and that was another reason that he selected Jason Scott to take over where he will soon leave. Not only did Scott have faith in the project, he held a deeper motivation - a faith in his god and a faith in humanity that would never allow him to give the project up up. Goldman never gave the notion of some “creator” a second thought, but he found that Scott’s beliefs somehow motivated him in a way unlike his other peers and students.

The waning sunlight transformed Goldman’s hair from grey to mixed hues of orange and red. The beams played off of the metal on his desk, reflecting waves of glistening color on the wall. After making one last note in his mind to pick up some milk, Goldman drove home under the stars of his dreams and the future.


* * *

“You must understand the immensity of the thing,” Goldman said. “We are already quite capable of flying to the moon and back as often as we please. Mars is not even that big of a deal. We have sent probes far beyond the confines of our solar system, providing us with more information than our ancestors could have ever dreamed of. Sending a set of sensors and cameras millions and millions of miles away from Earth is one thing; sending a set of astronauts that same distance is quite another. We are not simply looking for some new intelligent life; our goal is not to simply explore distant galaxies. I want to see how far we can GO. Space is a mountain with no clear peak - there is no final destination that we know of. I wish to climb up, up, and up, to bring humanity closer to the Universe that bore it. There are no known limits. There are no known restraints. We’ve already broken through the sky - I want to break through space.”

These were the words that Scott will always remember. His passion
motivated him as a student, and they still pushed him to this very day. Goldman’s death had been a quiet one. The burial was quick, and he was the only one who remained at the grave in silent prayer.


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hmm. Well, I read the whole thing Odin. heh. Um, I liked the imagery you used. The way you described how the sun was in his hair, on the wall, how the name plate was on the desk, etc. It gave me a setting for the characters in my head. I liked the wording of the sentences, it was mapped well. I especially liked how you put down he had to pick up milk. Made him seem like less of a huge genius and more human. Um, one thing that bugged me was this:be it Brahman, God, or whatever it/they were named It's the slash. I know that's kinda weird of me to pick that out. But just to say, I like the writer to be sure of what they're writing, so using one word would probably make it look more professional. The story has piqued my interest, and I'm not a big sci-fi reading fan Odin. Very good job. I liked how you mixed religion and science, two very contrasting subjects. I'd love to see how it works out.

 

K0ge, you're so awesome (I don't know how long this post's been up with 0 replies!).

Thanks for the input, you two. I'm going to change "it/they" to just "they." I had originally put "it/they" because I thought it would adequetly represent monotheism and polytheism, but then I realized that you're right, k0ge - it just doesn't work with the sentence as well. "They" will work just as well to mean any higher power (or powers), so I hope the reader still gets the sense that a variety of religions still exist in my tale's society.

There's always room for improvement!

All current progress on this story is slow at best. I'm working on (er, nearly completing) a script for a decent length movie to continue the "Jedi Academy" antics of Odin and Artemis. I hope to do some filming for that over my spring break, though I'm not sure when everyone will be available for the shooting (it's actually going to have a ::gasp:: plot).

A lot of science fiction seems to dismiss religion very heavily, and I thought I would experiment with some possibilities - I'm glad it's gone over relatively well so far. Granted, as the story progresses, the beliefs of the protagonist will probably play a larger role, as will the role of the "aliens" that are mentioned in the very beginning (a hint of things to come: the phenomena that took place in the Algo star system were caused by the aforementioned aliens). Details of the "project" will also be needed so I can flesh out the circumstances surrounding the characters. Unfortunately, I'm no expert at space technology, so I may have to do a decent amount of research on this one.

Anyway . . . yeah. The story's on an indefinite haitus but more input will be most welcome.
-Odin