Psychology Sex: A Discussion

Since the dawn of time, concerns of fertility have filled humanity's mind. Venuses can be found in every culture and land, symbols of birth, growth, and sexuality. Since those days the views on sex have changed many times.

It is the natural instinct to procreate, to continue the species. There is lust and love as well.

To some it is a sacred art, and to some others a way to gain power. In history the Greeks, Romans, Egyptians, Indians, Chinese, Japanese, and many more; all have religions, groups, or other sectors devoted to using sex. They used it to reach to the heavens, to try for immortality, and most common, pleasure.

It has been reviled, and condemned as an act of evil. It has been taught as something embarassing, and wrong. To some it is merely a necessary act, but a vulgar one. Loss of virginity is often seen as a black mark.

And to some others it is a game of pleasure, something to play with. It is used to manipulate people, show love, or control.

So, how do you see sex?

 

I still think you should title it "Let's talk about sex."

But to answer the question: my personal feelings on sex are that it is something that should be shared by a husband and wife only, or at least two married people.

 

Ah, yes. To any future arguments on the unnaturalness of homosexuality, you have not met my cousins' dog. The most funny thing is that they have been trying to breed him for so long. Alas, he hasn't the least clue what to do with a lady dog, but he perks right up when my dog comes to "play". My poor baby, it usually takes my cousins' dog at least two hours to figure it out.

So dogs are most definitely part of the natural world(as are humans), and he is without a doubt gay. :anime:

Oh, and I should post my views on the matter. I think of it as something sacred and special that is for people who love each other to share. Good God! I sound like my mom.

 

Sex is many things, depending on the people involved. It can be an expression of love and devotion between two people, one which transends our common boundaries - or it can be a cheap thrill, a way of manipulation, or an act of domination. It can also be the simple expression of our desire to procreate.

I don't buy into the idea that people should be married before they have sex. If they're planning to have unprotected sex, then yes, this should be done only in a stable relationship where both parties share a mutual trust and are ready to begin a family. However, "marriage" is a concept that varies greatly by culture, and is NOT a single-definition term. I think that saying "sex should occur within the bounds of a relationship based on respect, love, and trust" more accurately incapsulates the issue.

After all, why should marriage be the only criterion for intercourse? I think maturity is a far more important requirement. Think about countries in which there are arranged marriages. Those marriages are not necessarily based on any of the qualities in a relationship which make it a healthy one.

On the other hand, is there really something inherently wrong with having casual sex? If it's done responsibly - if both or all parties involved use protection, are honest with each other and capable of making a mature decision to have sex, and no one is being misled, how is that wrong? There are examples in nature where animals of higher intelligence have sex for pleasure, bonding, and stress relief. Enjoying sex is not purely a "human flaw."

 

Ah, yes. I was wondering when this would show up on one of the forums. Can't say I wasn't expecting it ^_^.

Honestly, I think people make a much bigger deal out of it then it's meant to be. At the dawn of time, sex was used only as a functional system of reproduction, and to this day that's still it's main purpose, though it's evolved majorly into something that it was never meant to be.

I used to say that the media needed something to turn "evil", therefore making it "cool" in the eyes of numerous teenagers and use it as an advertisement campaign to make money. I wasn't neccasarily serious when I said that, but *shrug*, you never know.

Honestly I still think that sex is an act of reproduction and not much more. Sure we're born with hormones and other such crap, but I think the media and society is partially responsible to the "horrible evil turn" that sex has been taking. Many adults see it as something vile that kids shouldn't even know the definition of, though I still don't see how it's that much of a big deal. It's not "evil", nor is it "good". It's just a part of life, and a neccasary part of life for the evolution of humans.

As for the sex before marraige thing; I don't think it should really matter. Some people marry on impulse after dating for a month and aren't nearly as close as a couple that's been together for years but would rather take it slow. Marraige is a legal document, but it certainly isn't an accurate measure of love, trust, or any of the other neccasary elements in a relationship that one would deem worthy to "progress to the next level".

And as Dilandau said, sex for pleasure isn't a horribly vile act either, it's just that society has implanted that into our heads. As long as those who actually want to are careful, I don't really see the harm.

 

If you're gonna have sex ONLY for having kids, you could be missing out on the universe's oldest and most basic pleasure. "Sex is the joy of the universe," someone said (probably not originally by my professor). Sex is supposed to feel good, and if we were all not so smart like lower creatures, that pleasure let's us know that it's the "right thing to do" with each other. Sort of nature's directions for reproduction--follow your crotch, not your heart. On another note, sure we ALSO want a great, compatible partner to love and be devoted to, but overall I don't think the dual combination of love and sex has been stressed enough in society's education, media, and culture. Mostly, they're seen as separate things. We always watch movies where two characters, who couldn't have realistically fallen deeply in love after less than a week and/or 5 conversations, suddenly have hot, passionate sex on impulse. And then we have masses of fans who "love" a celebrity, masses of people who like loveless erotica cuz they crave sexual stimulation, and many other things in society that puts walls between love and sex. Damn it gets nuts these days!

I'm sure that people would most enjoy sex with "someone they truly love," but finding a partner just right for everything is hard to do. We gotta remind ourselves of the 50% divorce rate (coin toss for love), as well as all the people we know who have 3-6 partners a year (each of which they claim to love much more than the previous). And so falling in love or getting married first is, like some of you mentioned, not a perfect measure of when to have sex. Men might wait until after marriage if their girlfriend insists, but that's like reducing marriage to simply a countdown for sex, rather than a celebration of love or a commitment of feelings/compatibility. And without that compatibility, but WITH sex, we end up with babies raised by single parents, as well as angry people who regretted having sex with "that jerk" or "that b***h" with whom they thought they "loved" in the first place. I have older cousins and friends who went through that.

Personally, I think the highest form of intimate affection with someone of your sexual preference is sex. Symbolically speaking, there's waving at someone, initial contact (touching them), and finally hugging em (which makes two bodies as close as possible). Yet to have affection beyond that, you could by getting so close that your bodies overlap (get so close that one goes INTO the other). Might seem like sex is just for intimate (physical) pleasure, and of course reproduction. Where love/marriage fits in, these days it's hard to tell. Some people marry without love; they marry for convenience. For example, they get married for creating a family (dependents), for financial benefits. Popular quote among male workers (single and married) at this place nearby is "The only thing marriage is good for, is tax purposes." And my friend whose parents got divorced and remarried, told me that her mom said she didn't love her new husband at all--instead she said "you'll understand when you get older." Yup, some people don't need love with everything else.

 

yes. sex has been twisted by religion media and very strict and i mean VERY strict morals. What people take it as a bad sinful act is the most natural thing in the world. "Casual sex" is common even in the animal kingdom, but because of our intelligance, we have created boundaries and walls to the limit of these instincts. Terms like ***** and "hoe", which really pisses me off because a "hoe" is a garden tool, have evolved from religion because of fear and insecurity that we are just animals with bigger brains. ^_^ Media has twisted sex to look like a rebellion act to piss people off, or, something that is the same as changing your socks everyday. it is nice to wait for marriage, but its also nice if you do it responssibly and carefully with someone you're serious about. With all the STD's in the world, sex has to be handled with care and not carelessness.

um....*looks back at rant* just forget i said anything ^_^;;

 

Sex is fun, why deprive folk of it due to prudes perspectives. if both participents want it then damn well get in there, except of course if it's such as under agers or incest.

As for STD's... get yourself checked & if the signs are clear, go to it. If not then rubber up & tell the other person. Though for me i always wear one... dont want kids.

 

I'm not exactly sure how sexual reproduction fits into philosophy, it's something I'm researching right now and surprisingly there have been works on it. But, I will say that it is kind of cool that Plato was one of the earliest known feminists. He realized that it was a waste for them to be stuck at home, they should be used, just as men were, for the benefit of the community. Even in Plato's Republic there was a point where Socrates said that they should even be able to go into wrestling matches against men(which at the time wrestlers fought with no clothes on!).

Sex is also part of the appetite that we, as humans, are naturally required to fulfill, according to Freud this would be more or less part of the Id. Yet, to become just individuals we must have the temperance to allow our spirit and mind to control this appetite. Which is quite a huge task. As for myself I know that this would be difficult, which is why I try not to get into situations where I could be tempted.

LOL, Jiraiya would smack me

Edit: Moved to the Recreation forum. There are too many aspects to sex to leave it in a topic specific forum. (Ie. psychological, biological, theological, philosophical, etc.)

 

Hooooooooookay!

• On "casual sex" in nature: Dolphins are, I believe, the only animals to have sex for pleasure besides humans. Everything else is trying to reproduce.
• On sex before marriage: What people do in their bedroom is their business. If someone makes love with their dearest, wonderful. If someone goes out and takes on three people at once, wonderful. As long as its consensual and between legal adults, its THEIR business entirely and none of my own.
• On self-control: I've had the offer for sex and other things several times, each time would have been completely free, but I turned down the stuff which just wasn't morally right (for example, a girl WAY too drunk. Another example is one particularly zealous fan. Coincidentally there hasn't been a single offer of sex which was morally satisfactory. ). If I -just cant wait- to blow my load, thats what the five finger shuffle is for.

As far as I'm concerned? This is just my attitude, but I don't think I'm really into the one night stand dealy. Again, I've had the offer come up quite a few times, once even from a girl who had a boyfriend, but I dunno. I'd like it to be special, y'know? To be able to snuggle with them after and chit-chat (be it as deep as philosophy or as shallow as... uhhh what to make her for breakfast the next morning); and then in the morning make them breakfast.

My friend Jason all this year kept telling me not to worry about sex, and that he wished he had waited for his first to be with someone special. And he has 4 years of age over me, so he does have a fair bit more experience (in most things). So I figure I might as well wait and see.

...

[/End Pointless Ramble]

 

Hmm...I never heard that before. I've heard that goats are the only animals that have sex for pleasure, that's one of the reasons why they were oftentimes associated with the satanism.

 

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sexual_intercourse

"It is said that dolphins, bonobos, and humans are the only animals that have sex for pleasure."

 

Bonbos are a kind of monkey, actually genetically closer to humans than regular monkies. They do whatever kind of pairing, too, male/female, male/male, female/female.

NOW- sex is...

An act of love- Two people must be truly in love to fully enjoy sex. Or, at least be very attracted to each other if it's just a one night stand.

Not simply male/female- This 'homosexuality is the devil' is complete and utter B.S. If God didn't want homosexuality, there would never have been homosexuality between humans or animals in the first place. (And yes, other animals do get it on with the same gender too.)

Not merely for procreation, or against God's will- There is actually a poster in my school with images of porn stars, children in bathtubs and teen mothers, that says "Sex is Against God's Will". If this were so, we wouldn't have been given genitalia, but instead sex would have lasted about 5 seconds or so. Yes, sex is for procreating (good idea to replace a bit of the human population, no?) but for pleasure as well. Condoms are a great idea, and not evil, becuase they have most likely saved lives, helped teenagers make a good choice, and save young girls from having to drop out of school, have a baby and ruin her life.

Just not for married mommies and daddies, and only when they want another child- Teenagers would have a big off/on switch in the back of their neck- just turn on the switch when you want them to have sex! Sex is a normal part of life, and not for when you get married. Guess what? The woman's 'virginity' is a THIN PIECE OF SKIN! NOTHING MORE! Girls are more likely to tear that skin from horseback riding, inserting a tampon or doing gymnastics than from having sex! What's the big deal? The average person has sex roughly once a week or so (if they're married), and holy, that would be a LOT of kids (although it takes 9 months for a baby to develop, which would still be a LOT of kids.) Guess what, kids? Mommy and Daddy most likely have their tubes tied or use condoms! OH NO!!!!!! SAVING MONEY BY NOT CONSTANTLY HAVING KIDS IS THE WORK OF THE DEVIL!!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

NOT EVIL!- As long as there is trust, safewords (if you're doing... that sorta stuff), love and full consent, there's nothing wrong with sex. At all. In fact, it's an act of love, and since God is pleased by acts of love, God must love it when two people have sex as a sign of love for each other and pleasure! OMGWTFLOLBBQ!!!11one

GET IT? THESE. ARE. THE. FACTS.

 

We-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-ell, SOMEONE sounds a little testy.

And... of COURSE God must love it when two people have sex. He gets to watch, the bloody, sick, filthy pervert that he is.

I think it was the book Choke... about sex addicts...

"Whenever someone says 'I love you', that's not what they mean. What they really mean is 'I love this'."

Just felt like saying something...

 

Actually, that argument is rather weak. You can do a lot of bad things in the name of love.

 

...For the sake of tossing a little something else into this thread, just which acts come under the umbrella term "sex"?

Are we talking about conventional sex, meaning the insertion of genitalia into a bodily orifice that's south of the border? (Since homosexual intercourse has already cropped up in this thread, I didn't want to restrict "conventional" sex to vaginal intercourse. I think we can all agree that sodomy does indeed constitute sex, whatever our personal feelings on it may be.)

Then there's oral sex... Common sense would tell you that it MUST be sex, since it's called oral sex, but it's amazing how many people will claim that they're still virgins afterwards.

What about penetration with a foreign object? Is that sex? Or insertion of, say, fingers or a tongue?

What about masturbation? It IS sexual, but generally only involves one person.

And phonesex - does that count?

I can think of a few other examples, but I'll spare your innocent minds.

I'm just trying to point out that before you even start to think about what sex MEANS, you have to decide what acts can be considered sexual.

...And yeah, dolphins and bonobos have sex for pleasure, stress relief, and bonding, as well as for procreation - just like people do. Even the immature ones will "play" at sex. I think it says something that recreational sex is only seen in animals of higher intelligence, eh?

 

Sex, sin, etc...

OK.

I have this personal opinion on sex.

The sexual act is something sacred because you give yourself to another person.

From that you could wonder: If having sex is an, indeed, holy and sacred act, what responsibilities does it bring?

(I'm not going to answer that, i'll leave it to you to think about... :sweat: )

About the guy who said: "If God didn't want homosexuality, he would have made us everyone straight". I think you should go to the homosexuality debate, i said my stuff about that. But in simple answers: God didn't want evil, so why are some people evil?

Anyway.

Since when I was very young, I always thought that my first time would have to be beautiful, special, and I should do it with someone who really loved me and I loved her. But... if the first time should be special, shouldn't also the second, and third, and nth time?

Maybe so many problems in our society is that we have stopped considering sex as something beautiful and god-given gift, but rather as some way to have pleasure? (i.e. today i want to... a) Watch a movie b) play videogames c) get laid)

And IMHO, society has degraded sex (porn being just one example of it), and people have stopped pursuing the ideal of having a spouse and loving her "till death us part". Why? Oh, because the marital relationship has been degraded too. And so has family, yadda yadda yadda...

I don't know you guys, but I still think sex should always be beautiful and special.