some where....

I'm pissed off... I'll call you when I know why.
Screw love, screw life. They can have their happiness.
I don't feel like saying good bye. Stop telling me about some one who loves me and I don't love them and how it's breaking their heart. Why can't they tell me? Oh because they don't want to hurt, me is that it? Well I wish you would stop telling me... because it hurts me to know that they can't tell me.

Tomorrow is today and there is nothing you can do about it.

Maybe because you can't see it, it isn't there. But that isn't true is it? Is the pain I feel not real because there are no scars on my wrist for you to see? Are the tears I shed not real because no one ever sees them? I hide them to keep others safe. I don't want to be a burden on others, and yet I am any way. Maybe it isn't so much that I don't desire sympathy... for to say that would be a lie. It would be more that I don't want to show who I am... or maybe I think that my pain... my suffering is for foolish reasons. What right do I have to feel sorry for myself. There are people starving... there are people suffering from cancer, AIDS, terminal illnesses... there are people getting blow to pieces by road side bombs... PEOPLE ARE DIEING AND SUFFERING SO MUCH MORE THAN I... HOW DARE I CRY!!! Ugh I can't stand it. I am so priveleged and yet I whine and complain. I hate myself for that...
Maybe some one can understand...

Edit:
I hate myself...
for hurting others...
for being loveable... STOP LOVING ME!!! I'm not good enough for you. Why? Why do people care? I don't get it... no matter how much they say it, there are times when I feel their words are impossible to believe. They say life isn't worth living if you don't have love... It wasn't my choice was it?
I'm not completely depressed I promise... it's more like the sound of a water fall in the background. Happiness can not be found. Dam rhyming.
There was this blue bird. $699 for the bird... the bird that was biting my fingers... but not hard... he seemed to like the salt on my sweaty hands. I didn't want to leave him... but... I had to go. I wonder if he is lonely. lonely like me. I no longer want fish. They would die, it would be my fault, and then I would be lonely again. Sigh.

 

You cry because even though you haven't seen both ends of spectrum, you still know what sadness is. You don't know what real pain and misery is yet you know it exists. Just because you haven't felt emotions as intense as those you see on TV doesn't mean you're not allowed to shed tears everyonce and a while. There are too many Americans who never shed any tears at all. They're the ones who begin to forget those who truly suffer, first. They're the ones who lose sight of the things that really matter in the world.

Y'shouldn't be ashamed of your tears. How dare you cry? You have every right to. It keeps you in touch with your heart. It prevents you from becoming one of 'those' people. They're the reason why you can still feel such pity for those who's tears really do carry the weight of the world in them.

There's nothing to be ashamed of in that.