Humour The 10 Commandments

The Ten Commandments
According to my Television

1. Thou shalt not resist booze
2. Thou shalt not disparage money
3. Thou shalt not refuse sexual relations, as sexual relations are the only important thing in the whole wide world ever.
4. Thou shalt never be average in the looks department. (ugly is right out)
5. Thou shalt never deny the existance of some sort of god or something.
6. Thou shalt never fail to defend your friends and family (those similar to you) regardless of the facts.
7. Thou shalt never fail to attack your enemies (those dissimilar to you) regardless of the facts.
8. Thou shalt have a whole mess of spawn (min:2)
9. Thou shalt never be alone.
10. America rocks!!

 

lol too true.

 

...

Apparently we watch very different shows. Go watch Babylon 5.

 

Greatest commandments ever...except i would like to add Canada as well to the tenth one...Come on, you're Canadian Raven, you should have put that from the start *shakes head*

 

I'm still trying to find the humor in this.

Might need a high-powered microscope.

Anyone feel like helping out here?

Or, wait, was I supposed to fake laugh?

HAHAHAHAHALOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL!!!1!1!1!!!!!1!!one!!!!11!!eleven!1!!!1!!onetyone!1!!!

So funny...

Not.

 

dude u've gone crazy.*starts run out*

 

Hahahahahahahahahahaha. :anime:

That's funny.

....

Oh! You were serious!?.........Oh god,I'm so sorry.........

-BC

 

...Have you watched any of it? If you had, you'd note that it contradicts every single one of Ravens "commandments". In addition, the writing is top notch.

Watch, I'll do it right now... keep in mind I've only seen the first 3 seasons.

Season One - Garibaldi resists giving in to an old addiction.
Season Three - Dr Franklin struggles to get over his stims addiction.

Season Two - The Night Watch is established, offering money as its key reward. Garibaldi refuses as it seems suspicious.

Season Two - Garibaldi passes on free and easy sex, craving a relationship more fulfilling.

Garibaldi is average height and balding. Vir Cotto is overweight. Londo Molari is old and somewhat husky.

Season One - Dr Franklin refuses to respect a patients religious beliefs.

Season Three - Talia Winters turns out to be a hostile sleeper agent. Despite how horrible it is and what a good friend she was, they get rid of her.
Pretty much all of Babylon 5 - Londo Molari treats Vir Cotto, pretty much his only friend, like utter crap.
Season Three - Sheridans wife, long thought to be dead, returns. However, Sheridan discovers she is corrupted and turns from her.
Season Three - Babylon 5 breaks away from the Earth Alliance.

Season Three - Despite many oppurtunities for retribution when they become part of the security force, the Narns on B5, who had their homeworld bombarded by the Centauri, do not harass the Centauri.
Season Two - The oppurtunity to attack the enemy is presented, it is not taken due to stragetic need to remain silent.

Londo has three wives and no children. Sheridan had a wife and no children with her.

Season Three - Franklin goes on walkabout; ends up alone for an extended period of time.
All through B5 - Characters spend time alone.

Not applicable; but lets substitute the Earth Alliance which is similar enough in nearly all regards. B5 ends up breaking away.



See? I'm not even trying. Theres plenty more, I just tossed out 1-3 examples per point. Now shut up and go watch.

 

Ummmm....Neph, thats one show. Look at all of the reality tv shows these days, for many of the examples. Not only those shows but many others. Many sitcoms (not all, but many) have these characters who are incredible beautiful, however they are also stupid and seem to follow those 10 commandments. example: Friends

Amon Sena if you don't think its funny then don't post, otherwise its just spam. :anger2:

 

Oh,I had no doubt that you knew what you were talking about. I was just laughing because Babylon 5 is a cheesy sci-fi show that I wouldn't be caught dead watching.

In fact,I have seen a few episodes.I haven't stopped vomitting since.

Plus,the fact that you took the liberty of typing all that out just makes you look like an enthusiastic fanboy with way too much time on your hands.

-BC

 

Why? How is it cheesy? Did you ever see the season two finale? Or are you just talking out your ***?

Like...?

Oh no, someones accusing me of being a fanboy when I illustrate you can find tv that doesn't follow said commandments! Heaven forbid I prove my point in a forum where you are supposed to prove your point!


Anyway Raven, if you think that B5 is the only show that doesn't follow your commandments, here are some more - Twin Peaks, Stargate SG-1, Robotech, Judge Judy, Reboot, MASH, Dilbert, Farscape, Junkyard Wars, Little House on the Prairie, the X-Files... I could go on but as you can see, there is plenty of TV that doesn't go for the lowest common denominator. If you can't find it, that's simply because you're too lazy to seek out some decent programming.

 

You know,like when your body is so disgusted that it expells partially digested food? Ever heard of it?

First of all,pointing out that you can find things on TV that don't follow those commandments wasn't even necessary.Observe:

He said according to his television. Not yours. Seeing as how he doesn't watch any of those shows,I wouldn't expect his "commandments" to look any different.

And in terms of proving your point,my points were that I don't like Babylon 5 (which I think I strongly illustrated earlier.......),and that you made yourself look like a geek.

Which I would like to reiterate now .......

Look at all the shows in bold.......

Now.......just watching one of these shows occasionally doesn't warrant total geekdom.However, the fact that you have all the actions of every character and every episode memorized,makes you look like the average Trekkie.

That's all I was trying to say.No need to be so.......aggresive about it.

-BC

 

Chill out you guys, it was just a harmless attempt at humor.

While I agree wholeheartedly on the first part, I must add that there are quite a few people who would say the same to you for your knowledge on anime .

 

Glad to see that someone agrees with me.Thank you.

Although I know some random anime news,it hardly makes me a fanboy.I mean,watching anime,you're bound to pick up some random tidbits.

I haven't memorized each and every individual detail about each episode. Anime is just a hobby.I don't have a seperate area of my brain for which pair of fake ears Spock wore in episode 231 of Star trek,or whatever. See my point?

Anyways,this has been blown way too far out of proportion.In order to stay on topic,I'll have to kindly ask Neph to send his retort (and if I know him like I think I do...there will be a response) to me via PM.

-BC

 

WHY did you "vomit"?

But if it only works for him, why would he bother trying to give it to the public? Part of humor is that is has to be accessible to the public, not just him.

How does genre indicate quality?

"all the actions of every character and every episode memorized" Yeah right. I named general things, some of which were major plot points? I bet you could describe things that happen in anime shows you watch; does that make you a geek?

 

Just like with any other show. Granted, if you can't tell me some of the story of some episodes or some shows, all it shows me is that you weren't paying attention.

Which I didn't. Watch it and you'll note I was naming plotpoints of entire episodes or even seasons.

And I do? I still don't see how being able to point out major plot points equates to knowing every single piece of trivia (especially about an un-related show).

Nah. If you want me to do so, then be kind in all parts of your post, not just one.

 

Because I didn't like the show. Plain and simple. It's just not my thing. Accept it already.

That's definitely not true. Just because you don't watch those show doesn't mean everyone else doesn't. Comedy doesn't have to cater to a certain denomination. He was targeting the people who do,in fact,watch those shows. I believe a couple of those people posted and they seemed to enjoy it.

It doesn't. I was just pointing out that the fact that you watch these shows, much like many Trekkie fanboys out there, certainly makes you look like the type.

It doesn't prove it,but it doesn't hurt to point it out either.

Geek (gEk) - noun - a person often of intellectual bent often disapproved of.

So,no it doesn't make me a geek. I like watching anime and I do know a few things.I would say that just makes me knowledgeable. Doesn't mean I point those things out to someone in order to make things difficult or just to annoy someone,as you often do. I would say quite a few people would say they disapprove of that..............

Like you said when you pointed those things out to Raven:

So if you did try,you probably would have gone off into a rant about which pair of shoes some character wore most often throughout Season 1 or something like that.

Oh,well excuse the hell out of me for using an un-related show. My point was that there are quite a few things suggesting that you are a fanboy. I can just tell you're the type of guy who spends hours in chatrooms at 4 AM talking about why George Lucas messed up big time when he made the last 2 Star Wars movies. As if it were life and death.

Well,ok. If you insist. If you think you alone have the right to be an *******,then I too can be one. Just don't blame me when the mods come along complaining that this is a flame-war. At least I'm trying to keep things civil and get them back to the original topic.

-BC

 

.....



could a mod please close this thread :sad:

 

What you call "civil", in this context, is commonly known as Flame Bait, Blue Crow. You have been warned.

--MT