The Corn is a Popping, Don't Bother Knocking

Quick! Name three staple foodstuffs you commonly see in the office workplace! Coffee, donuts, and... popcorn?

Yes, popcorn has become the new thing to much on while working at the office. It's an odd trend that started in mid-December last year while I was absent at home sick. I don't know what brought on the impromptu first bag of popping corn, but it apparently got the workers through a horrendus 23 straight hour work block.

It was actually a bit humourous the first time I came in to see a few boxes of Orville Redenbacher's microwave popcorn around the developer's desk area. My first reaction was, "I'm not having any."

Not because I don't like popcorn. And certainly not because I don't like eating - I love to eat. Rather because of an embrassing incident midway through last year. ^^;

We have Iron Man's microwave. I swear this thing is the industrial strength version of the popular fast-cooking appliance. I say Iron Man because the thing looks like a small tank parked in the office kitchen - it's that cold, unfeeling, and heavy duty looking. I guess the point to get across is that this thing nukes harder than your standard model. If your microwave dinner says "ready in 10 minutes", I wouldn't go a second over 5, or you'll be eating a square of charcoal.

But back to the incident. There had been some microwave popcorn just sitting there idly in the kitchen cupboard for at least a year. I decided that entitled me to it, since it had been unclaimed so long. I had forgot the rule of thumb when dealing with Iron Man's microwave that day. Looking at the package, it listed 2 - 5 minutes until popping slowed down, so I thumbed in 3 minutes and decided to go to the restroom down the hall while it was heating up.

I come back right before the buzzer, open the door and WHOOSH - smoke just comes billowing out. I grab the fold of the package and am taking it out at the same time realizing the bag has caught flame. That right, my popcorn was on fire. I rip it out quickly, drop the whole thing in the sink and drown in under tap water. Of course, the tale was not yet over. That whole billow of smoke made its way into the building ventilation system, and out into the nearby hallway. It wasn't pretty. You could see the extra thickness all down the hallway, and smell it too. One coworker came in commenting that it smelled like somebody burnt their steak.

So I was reluctant to repeat the episode. I told the guys around me that I would eat it if they were going to prepare it, but that I wouldn't tempt fate with that evil microwave again. Needless to say, they went ahead and did it, actually burning it at the two minute mark (sans flames), but eventually arriving at the magic 1:40 that we all use. Yes, we all. I ended up using Iron Man's machine again after I saw there were no casualties at the under 2 minute mark.

Since then, popcorn has become a staple around here. We always seem to have five or so different boxes of various flavours (butter, light butter, cheese, sweet, honey) hanging around, and one or two of us not only use it as an afternoon snack, but sometimes even for breakfast in a pinch.

It would be the prefect scenario, if only we worked in showbiz.