Creative Writing The Hills of Wah-Rye

Prologue

Her feet pound on the slippery ground, and the night closes in. They are following, always following. And they would do to her what they had done to her Mother. A sob was wrenched again from her throat, yet no tears came as she ran for her very life. The tracks left on her cheeks were ones derived from fear, hate, and tragedy.
The breath is now heaving from her lungs, and she knows she won't be able to continue. She must hide. The forest, which by day had been magical and safe, now seemed like a prison. She heard them chanting. Always chanting. She is desperate now, and she stops to double over. Sweat drips from her brow, and her hair is drenched in it. The cloak she wears is torn and bloody, smelling of soot and death. She knows they can smell her fear.
There is a sound. Her head whips up, her eyes are wide. The bushes rustle. She prepares to fight. To fight and die.
But who steps out, but a boy. He is older than she, and of a different race. He looks human...but there is something odd about him, something powerful. There is a bow strapped over his left shoulder and his face is almost as dirty as hers, yet his is deliberate. He holds out his hand.
"Come with me. Please." His musical voice rushes over her like cool water, pleading. And yet, he could be the enemy. She heard their chanting getting louder, closer. Who to trust? There is always a lesser evil. Her Mother had said that. She closes her eyes a moment. A precious moment, as she realizes she may be in her last. No. She had to rely upon herself. She was the only person who could save herself. She began to run from the mysterious boy. She had to get out of this forest, out of their ring of power.
Suddenly, she felt light headed, and there was a starburst pain inside her head. Then...nothing.


yup, so that's the start I guess. If there's interest, I'll keep going. Please tell me it made some sense. :shy3:
~peace

 

Wow! I wanna know what happens next... was she running from something? well obviously...but seriously what was she hiding from?? good stuff .... more more more more more!

 

Intruiging, k0ge. Do go on.

 

It's interesting enough. It was an odd choice to write it in the present tense, but not a bad one. I presume there'll be plenty of flashback and the like?

 

I'm an odd kinda person DL. In a good way (I hope) I think I'll finish this on my computer and post it...or something. It needs editing, etc. lol. Thanks for the comments guys.

 

Innovation is GOOD, k0ge! Present tense can be hard to pull off but when done well, its really neat and interesting. I remember the third book in some series called "Matt" was done that way, and the story, which would have been HIDEOUSLY boring elsewise, kept my attention. What can I say, the real-time effect adds to suspense.




P.S. The story was about some goofy kid, his crush/girlfriend, and his attempts to capture her heart. Also the culmination was an overnight trip to a museum. The way it was written made me read with wrapt attention, even when it was describing two non-main character kids screwing around in a planetarium. It was only FLAVOR text and I remember it!

 

ho ho ho K0ge 0wnage