This is Now

this is now.
this is where i am.
this is where i'm going.
i'm picking up the mess i've made.
i'm sinking into isolation.
i cannot hold on.
i simply just can't bear the pain.

i want to live
i want to die
i wanna go somewhere that'll pacify.

i want the beauty
i want the grace
i've fallen from heaven
i've given the taste of betrayal
i've received nothing but denial

that was then
that was the past
that was the sadness
that was the eternal fantasy