What is going on...?

I'm real emo right now..Jessica and all my friends from school (W.S. Neal) said that i've been pushing them away..Just because Jessica asked me where i got the cuts from my arm from..i didn't answer. then I told her she was a fucked up friend for telling Jina I cheated on her when we were dating.. i had every right. They said i'm miserable and I won't let anyone else help or tell anyone. I'm always looking for a way out and I block everyone else in the process..you want to know why?? I DON'T TRUST YOU FREGGIN PEOPLe~?? DO YOU KNOW WHY I DON'T? BECAUSE THEY'RE STUPID!! THEY NEVER LISTEN!!?? ALL THEY WANT TO DO IS TALK ABOUT THEIR PROBLEMS??Jina has absolutely nothing to be emo about, her mother loves her, her stepdad rules now. And she's beautiful..I don't have a dad, my mom is abusive..my sister and me fight over everything..and when i mean fight we do it bad..BAD.and i hate to admit it, but im jealous of her..everything thinks shes so pretty and never says anything to me..!! WHY!!?? Why am i so different??? Is it because im queer? Is it because i dress weird?? WHAT the hell is going on.. I haven't ever wrote a entry expressing my true feelings or how bad i feel sometimes. Ive always smiled and bared it. I may have said i was angry but I wasn't..I was hurt as hell..They said they're not gonna talk to me untill i learn to accept other peoples love. WHAT THE HELL IS THATS SUPPOSED TO MEAN?? YOU FREGGIN IDIOTS!!?? Its so gay..why do people have to be so dramatic? Is it that bad that mabye I don't like to tell people whats on my mind..you know what? I do tell one person and another thing that happens to be a memory of another person. my dad's tombstone and my best friend Mike..he means so much to me. I told him about all this and i know he was like WTF? because i tell him everything...god i had girls..I HATE THEM!! especially whores like Jina. They can all kiss my ass, back to the old loner days..im sitting here crying. Its not fair guys..

I love my Mike, i'll never let him go just for being here with me during this time..

Love,
the emO Dealer ( For one time in her life)