Humour Blonde Jokes

This is from scary movie :

theres 2 blond wacthing tv when one said: u know, the people say that if u wacht tv u get stupid.
the other one doesn;t pay attetion then the other said again: they say that if u watch tv the SILICONE disapear too.
then the too scream histerically.

 

so a blonde is driving down a country road and she sees a farmer in a feild with his cows. She pulls over and gets out so she asks if she can have one. the farmer says "if u can guess how many that i have u can take one." so after a long time she says "147" he says "thats is exactly right how did u know?" She says "lucky guess" so she is about to drive off when the farmer walks up and says "can i have my dog back?"

 

blonde joke

You want to know a way to drown a blonde u take a thing of nail polish and glue it to the bottom of a swimming pool.

 

How do you potty train a blonde?

Answer:Take them into a circular room and tell them to pee in the corner.

Pathetic thing is...I'm a blonde...

 

Dumb blonde jokes

just thought of this and well if it has been done before then close it up and bin it.

Since there are Soo many dumb blonde jokes why not post them up and rate them for each other on there humour.

to start it off i will with this one

Ever wonder WHY so many people CHOOSE to be blonde.......would make a great physiological study...
author unknown.

A gorgeous young redhead goes into the doctor's office and
says that her body hurts wherever she touches it.

"Impossible!" says the doctor. "Show me."

The redhead takes her finger, pushes on her left cheek and
screams; then she pushes her elbow and screams in
even more agony. She pushes her knee and screams; likewise she pushes her ankle and screams.

Everywhere she touches makes her scream.

The doctor says, "You're not really a redhead, are you?"

"Well, no" she says, "I'm actually a blonde."

"I thought so," the doctor says.

"Your finger is broken."

rate it

 

Can we tell jokes about people with dark skin, too? I don't see what seperates those from blonde jokes; it's both about people with a different coloured body part fulfilling a stereotype.

 

excuse me...im a red head/blonde here!!!lol, its ok, ive learned to deal with these kind of jokes, really i dont care,lol. I've heard that one quite a few times before..not with the red-head twist though.
-S

 

lol...nightmare...i've heard of that one! Omg...even though I'm a natural brunette...my friends and family ALL think that I should have been born a blonde or that the doctor dropped me on my head when I was born. *tear* I feel loved...not. lol. But I got one!

There is a double decker bus with two female soccer teams that had just won both of their games. On the bottom deck are the brunettes and the blondes are at the top deck. The Brunettes are having a fun time laughing, telling jokes (lol), and singing...but they notice that it's really quiet upstairs and a couple of them go up to see why. When they do, they notice all the girls are faced forwards and are grasping the seat in front of them for dear life, with a look of sheer terror on their faces. On of the brunettes asks a blonde what's wrong and the blonde lookes at her and yells out, "You guys have a bus driver...AND WE DONT!!!"

 

Now I know there was another one of these. I remember merging two of them a long time ago...

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Can't say I've heard any new ones though. At least not any that would be suitable around here. ^^

 

Got these out of an old Archie comic, I'm too lazy to actually bother coming up with the stuff myself.....

Q: What do you call it when a blonde dyes her hair brunette?
A: Artificial intelligence

Q: What do you call a blonde standing between two brunettes?
A: A mental block

Q: Why shouldn't blondes be allowed to go on coffee breaks?
A: Because it takes too long to retrain them

 

omg....Kagome's Arrow....those are sooo funny!!! OK! I got one...there was a brunette, redhead, and a blonde driving through the desert when suddenly, their car breaks down. The nearest auto shop was 50 miles away...so they each decided to walk there but had to bring one thing with them. The brunette says, "I'll bring food in case we get hungry!" The redhead says, "I'll bring water in case we get thirsty!" And then the blonde says, "I'll bring the car door, so in case if it gets hot...I'll roll down the window!!!"

Mwuahaha....I love that one!!!^^

-Krystine

 

LOL... my mom is a natural blonde...and omg does she act liek one sometimes, but i geuss i cant fully blame her though.... Anyways...I geuss i dont have any good blonde jokes right now, b/c they have all been told way too many timesa and it wouldnt make sense for me to repeat something everyone has heard before lol :anime:

 

Here are a few I thought that were funny.

A blonde and a brunette are skydiving.
The brunette jumps out the plane and pulls the cord -- nothing happens.
She pulls the emergency cord and still nothing.
The blonde finally jumps out of the plane and yells "Oh! So you wanna race, huh?"


A blonde goes into a nearby store and asks a clerk if she can buy the TV in the corner.
The clerk looks at her and says that he doesn't serve blondes, so she goes back home and dyes her hair black.
The next day she returns to the store and asks the same thing, and again, the clerk said he doesn't serve blondes.
Frustrated, the blonde goes home and dyes her hair yet again, to a shade of red.
Sure that a clerk would sell her the TV this time, she returns and asks a different clerk this time.
To her astonishment, this clerk also says that she doesn't serve blondes.
The blonde asks the clerk, "How in the world do you know I am a blonde?"
The clerk looks at her disgustedly and says,"That's not a TV -- it's a microwave!"


A blind guy on a bar stool shouts to the bartender, "Wanna hear a blonde joke?"
In a hushed voice, the guy next to him says, "Before you tell that joke, you should know something."
Our bartender IS blonde, the bouncer is blonde. I'm a 6' tall, 200 lb black belt. The guy sitting next to me is 6'2", weighs 225, and he's a rugby player. The fella to your right is 6'5" pushing 300 and he's a wrestler. Each one of US is blonde. Think about it, Mister. Do you still wanna tell that joke?"
The blind guy says, "Nah, not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times.

The last few I promise.

Q: A blond going to London on a plane, how can you steal her window seat?
A: Tell her the seats that are going to London are all in the middle row

Q: What is the blonde doing when she holds her hands tightly over her ears?
A: Trying to hold on to a thought.

Q: What do you call a blonde in an institution of higher learning?
A: A visitor.

 

Q: What do you call a Jewish black woman with blonde hair from Poland flying an airplane?
A: A pilot, you ignorant bigot.

 

Don't now it this has been posted yet but

THere's three blondes walking along soon they came along some tracks
1st blonde said they look like deer tracks
2nd one sasid that they look like cat tracks
3rd one said they look like bear tracks
15min later they are still arguing and got hit by a train