Debate Celibacy?

Yah, so I got to thinking: I wonder what peoples ideas are on when appropriate times in thier life to have sex?
And even though celibacy kind of implies that thier be no sex...still. Do you think that say, high-schoolers should be going out and getting laid, or waiting till they've settled down with someone?

Just a thought.

 

Well I'd say that it's not right for anyone under a certain age to have sex. But thats a lot easier said then done. We have singers that act like stippers and make it look like it's all ok to act like that. Then we have ads every where that are using sex as a way of selling stuff. In fact theres probably very few companies that don't use sex as something to sell their product.
With all these things going on around them it's hard for young kids not take notice of them. So their thoughts are going to turn to sex.
That said i don't think that somebody that young should go out and have sex. It's difficult to say when somebody should be allowed to have sex. Maybe it depends on how mature they are and if they know all the consquences of what could happen. THought i still kind of think that somebody shpould only have sex with one another if they are sure thats who they love and not just for sport.

 

woah

im surprised that this conversation hasnt been closed yet, but yeah i kinda agree with kain that there shouldnt be age but kids see iton tv ad thin its ok, but teenage pregnancys r a bigissue you, butmy final deciosion is, no age lmit but use to or more proctectio

 

1.) Depends on your religion and/or how your family feels
2.) Should definitely be old enough to support kids
3.) Should be out of high school, if not college.
And Kain is right, it's hard to avoid all the sexuality the media throws out at kids these days... it's like brainwash. No matter what you do your still going to see teenage mothers, and it's really sad, seeing how most of them put their kids up for adoption. Have some will power and wait, people.

 

Well... different people mature at different times. I know 16-year-olds who are more ready for a mature, sexual relationship than some acquaintances of mine who are twenty or older. Basically, it's appropriate to have sex when:

- You're in a mutually consensual relationship with good communication, where both partners are responsible, willing, and ready to accept the risks and take what measures they can to be safe.
- You personally feel ready to have sex, and are not being pressured.
- You understand all the health issues, you're educated about your body and it's physiology, and you've found methods of protection that both you and your partner are comfortable with, *OR* you and your partner are ready to have a child.

I think that issues like whether or not the person is married or still in school are just personal choices. I don't have any problem with pre-marital sex, although I do feel that a mutual understanding and commitment are required of both partners to have a healthy relationship.

What I don't support is sex or abstinence purely because of pressure (either the person is being coerced to have sex to live up to perceptions of maturity or desirability, or they want to be intimate with a partner but feel they can't, even if they're old enough, mature enough, and responsible enough - say, because their parents would disapprove of their lifestyle choice). I don't approve of children - that is, young teens and those who are not mature in their thinking and behavior, regardless of age - having sex. Irresponsible and unprotected sex fit in there.

Now, in regard to teens "going out and getting laid" - casual sex is fine, so long as it's done responsibly and no one is under any illusions that it implies a relationship. However, teenagers generally aren't mature. I think that 16 is generally old enough to form a committed relationship with a similarly-aged individual, but a committed relationship may or may not involve sex. On the whole, I don't think teens should be sexually active, because most of them don't know what the hell they're doing - and those who do are usually smart enough to realize they don't NEED to have sex to have a stimulating relationship.

 

some good points there dilandu

technically there is a set limit from when you can start having sex.. it's when the woman gets her first period. any other age limit apart from that is purely enforced and maintained by society (your country's laws, religion.. blah blah blah). i'm not saying I would sleep with a 14 year old who just started... but it's only natural

myself I'm 21 and I'm in no rush, it isn't that big an issue in my life. What I do not like is people abstaining from sex for what I feel are.. ill thought out reasons.
1) not until I meet mr/ms. right
2) not until I get married..
etc etc
I feel people shouldn't set something like this in stone, it's just sex. people attach too much importance to it and at the same time, it is taboo so we are wary of discussing it. so there is alot of confusion and moral outrage (the whole janet jackson thing).

anyway, I think celibacy is fine. it's up to any person to decide for themselves, but I think it should be a personal decision and you should leave yourself open to the possibility.. not just put it on a high shelf so you can't reach it until you 'grow up' and get married.
sex isn't dirty.



(edit)

also, a large.. large part of the single teenage mother problem is lack of a good education regards sex. people keep shying away from the issue, and preaching abstinence like it's going to help. if you want to reduce the number of single mothers, just.. give out condoms. make them easier to access for the kids.. if they're going to have sex.. they're going to have sex. at the very least we can hope that they are protected.

 

It all depends on the person and the opinions. People should do what they want but should as well be careful on what they do.

 

How does that set a limit, though? Just because someone's body is starting to have real reproductive function doesn't mean anything. Some women don't start until well into their late teens - and some actually start as young as nine or ten. Clearly, there's a big difference between having a menstrual cycle and being ready for sex. Besides, the girls who start when they're very young aren't even physically ready for a pregnancy - their body wouldn't take the strain of carrying the fetus, let along giving birth.

Definitely. I'm 20 - will be 21 this June - and y'know... I'll have sex when I damned well please, because I feel that I'm a responsible adult who's ready for it on all levels. However, it hasn't happened yet. ^_^

So true. If a person makes a conscious, reasoned opinion that they wish to abstain until such a time that they've met a requirement they've set for themselves - a certain age, being in a stable relationship, being married, etc - fine. Good for them. If, however, they're abstaining because they've had it drilled into their heads that sex is evil and nasty and only for procreation... I think that's sad. Sensual contact and intercourse are not only ways to make a baby - they're also potentially a wonderful expression of commitment and love. Sex and sexual intimacy can reaffirm bonds of trust and love between dedicated partners.

And for anyone who who's counting calories, sex is also great excercise. ~_^

 

scientists also discovered that women who swallow lose weight easier..

just.. planting seeds

planting seeds..

oh, and dilandau.. fine.. just go ahead and pick out the only flaw in my otherwise perfect argument

 

Yeah, men wish. XD

However, the chemicals released by the brain at the moment of orgasm DO help combat depression. (And my friends wonder how I maintain my cheery outlook on life... not. XD)

No problem. ^.^v

Actually, in that vein, the menstrual cycle is also starting years earlier than it used to in modernized countries. A hundred+ years ago, most women didn't start until their late teens - 16 or 17, which is about when most teens start to be more ready to deal with sex. Now, the average is closer to 12. It has to do with better nutrition. So, girls who are less psychologically capable of parenting are able to become pregnant much sooner than they used to.

 

hrm.. i thoght most arranged marriages 100+ years ago were done around the age or 14-15 and children were always expected soon..

also, that swallowing thing is true.. read it on some news website a year or three ago.. scientists did a test and all ..

i just want to know how they tested it..

 

I think most of the West believes in the mindset that sex should have hardly any laws attached to it - The idea is that the government should stay out of the bedroom as much as possible. There are exceptions, of course, like rape and incest, but most Western countries trust their citizens to have sex when they feel ready. Of course, that might be what's leading to the growing income gap and teen motherhood, but that's another debate.

For most of high school I was just cautious and tried to be mature about it like everyone else around here. I lost my virginity at 16 to a girl I had been dating since junior high (We've broken up since but are still friends), so we both felt that by using protection and all that jazz, we could handle the added baggage that sex brings along. Of course, many kids can't, and that's where the trouble begins.

 

erm.. billy... aren't there a load of states in the US that it is illegal to have sex with a man in?

and what about swingers.. and erm.. non-monogomous relationships..

crap.. multigomous?

 

The word is "polygamous". Just wanted to let you know.

As far as the debate itself is concerned, I really don't care. My personal preference was celibacy, but that doesn't mean people can't do as they choose. It's their body, and it's their responsibility. If they get an STD or get pregnant, it's their problem, not mine.

 

You mean homosexual sex? No, those draconian laws were finally gotten rid of last year by the Supreme Court.

 

I think sex is something that should not be taken lightly. If you need to do it make sure it's with that special someone. Dont give up your virginity to just anyone. Remember, it's ok not to have sex, there are other ways of showing someone you care. If you do have pre-marital sex make sure you use protection.

As for myself, Im 20, still a virgin and I want my first time to be with someone special.

 

Why?

I have to say that personally, I don't plan on having sex until after I'm married.

Well, my reasoning for it is that first off, I doubt anyone would ever want to do something like that with me, and second off, it would take a while for me to be comfortable with doing something like that....maybe I'm just a :catgirl: .

[berry]changing that word to just your kitty icon is much better...^^[/berry]

 

I'm 17 and a virgin, but I probably won't wait until I'm married to have sex. My first time will however, not be with someone random or meaningless. It'll be with someone who leaves me without a doubt that they're the person I want to be with in that way.

No offence to anyone here, but I find the idea of waiting for sex until marriage kind of...silly. I respect everyone's opinions of course, I mean I once wanted to wait until i was married, but as I got older I realised how much sex is a part of life and definatley how much it is a part of intimate realtionships. Imagine waiting till your wedding night and finding that you are not sexually compatible with your 'life' partner.

I think that sex is taken too lightly in a lot of ways (like in advertising that you people have mentioned), but also too seriously as well. Sex is not some huge milestone that will neccessarily change your life or
turn it in a different direction (although of course it can). Being ready for sex isn't a matter of age, it's about what state of mind a person is in. Don't get me wrong, I respect people who choose to be celibate, but I see sex and all sexual activity as part of human nature and life in general. When it feels right it feels right. :shy:

 

I think that if neither of them ever had sex before marriage then they wouldn't know who they are compatible with, they wouldn't be too critical of each other's performance based on (non-existing) past experiences.

Anyways, I'm a virgin and plan to be until I get married(if I do get married). There's too much risk involved with STDs and pregnancy, and I view it as a sacred bond between two people, that shouldn't be taken lightly. I'm partly a non-conformist too when it comes to things like that.