Manga Ring Project Chapter 1

Okay I told you all I did put chapter 1 into panels.

kOgepan wrote chapter 1 click here. To view it.

Here it is panelized. (If that is a word. Well BMS it is now )
Funny thing is that it only took like one hour while I was working. Hehe

1. Minato sleeping. He is up right in his chair.
2. Minato drooling. His eyes are closed.
3. Minato awake wiping off drool.
4. Minato checks to see if no one saw. Thinks, 'Good no one saw.'
5. Minato yawns and covers mouth.
6. Minato head with teacher at projector. See chalkboard in background.
7. Teacher talking, "Today class. We will be going over the legend of Lugata."
Minato thinks, 'Not this crap again.'
8. Teacher talking, "Lugata got rid of her husband, Ein, by baking him a cake that turned him into a seed."
Minato thinks, 'PLEASE HELP ME.'
9. Teacher talking, "She was after all the goddess of Food and Delicious Delights."
Minato thinks, 'Have mercy on us you old crock.'
10. Teacher talking, "Unfortinately one of Ein's woman got a hold of the seed..."
Minato's head hits the desk. BAM
11. Teacher looking at Minato. "Is there a problem, Minato?"
Minato talking "No sir not at all."
12. Teacher talking, "Let's continue then."
Minato thinks. '..."
13. Minato leaving class.
14. Minato in hallway. Satomi calls his name "MINATO."
15. Satomi jumps on Minato hugging him. Satomi talking, "I'm so excited about walking home, Minato-san."
16. Minato on ground and Satomi is sitting on him. "Satomi, I can't walk like this."
Satomi talks, "Oh, I'm so sorry."
17. Satomi and Minato outside school.
18. Satomi looks at watch. She asks, "What is the date today?"
"February 27th, why?" Minato said
19. Satomi says, "I am late for gymnastics class."
Minato says, "Bye, Satomi."
20. Satomi alone. She thinks, 'Looks like I'll have to break up with Minato tonight.'
21. BOX reading IN THE DEPTHS OF THE SEA
22. A red seed in a jar at the bottom of the sea. Says "Come to me."
23. A ship casting net.
24. Net in ocean.
25. Jar with seed in net.
26. Net back in boat.
27. Boat at shore with seed in box.
28. Owner selling merchandise (box with seed in it) to buyer. Buyer is by vechile.
29. Buyer in vechile that has sign on it Drunken Dragon's Flaming Wok.
30. Buyer gives box to cook.
31. Cook takes out seed adds to sushi.
32. Sushi with red seed on buffet.
33. BOX reading STREETS OF TOKYO
34. Minato walking along. He thinks, 'Man, I am hungry."
35. Minato sees sign. Sign reads Drunken Dragon's Flaming Wok.
36. Minato going inside.


I think the only thing I left out was going to get the candy. My opinion is that it would make it to long.

I did add in Satomi wanting to break up with Minato. Suzu suggested this.

Need chapter 1's title. BMS said Upset Stomach. I like it or should it be the title for chapter 2?

Anyone else with ideas to name it?

 

Wonderful! Now it will be easier to draw the scenes for the manga ^_^ thanks Basher19! As for the title I think it it would be perfect for the second chapter.

Some titles I came up with:

A seed's life
The legend

 

About panels 22 -30
I think in Koge version, it was a fish that ate the seed and was caught by a fisherman's net. I think it's more acceptable in terms with a restaruant chef cooking. I do not think a cook would use a seed placed in a jar caught by a fishing net and serves it as food. But that's just me :sweat:

 

I ws thinking that the chef thought the seed was some seasoning considering. The owner or who ever brought ovet the box.

So how about for line 30.

Cook takes out seed and says, "He/she must have picked out some seasoning for me to use."

Basher

 

I like Seraphim's idea. It sound like Lugata placed a curse on him. Everytime Ein is eaten by an animal organism he posses it body and literally climbing up the food chain pyramid until he reaches the top with Minato body.
Seed > Plankton > Tuna Fish > Minato

That means Minato has to eat a whole fish and Tuna isn't that small of a fish.
How about Shrimp? Shrimp Sushi? Hearing? Cod? When minato orders sushi then the chef uses a the whole possed fish to make sushi for minato.

 

I think it's a good idea if the fish is possessed and the sushi chef prepared the whole fish for Minato. Let's say he ordered sushi with a specific kind of fish instead of one of those yummy variety plates. If the seed is red, and kinda...dissolved into the fish, then the best fish for the job might be salmon.

 

Hmmm. How about when Ein is calling the boat a big fish hears it too?
So it would go something like this.

25. Fish swims and eats jar. Ein "Oh Boy."
26. Fish has a red mark on it. Ein says "Just my luck. I am now a fish. Lugata will pay for this."
27. Fish is capatured.
28. Net back in boat.
29. Boat at shore with special fish in box or wrapped in paper or cooler. Ein can say "get me out of here."
30. Owner selling merchandise to buyer. Buyer is by vechile. Which has the restaurant name on it.

We could also add dialouge as Ein as a fish making it funnier. Considering he is a fish and can't talk his powers could be useless.

I know fish eat werid things. So eating a jar wouldn't be out of character.

Unless the seed wasn't in a jar and was really really small plankton couldn't eat it.

So line 32 and before will have to be changed.

Here it is:
31. Buyer gives fish to cook.
32. Cook takes out fish and grabs knife.
33. Just Fish.
34. Knife.
35. Ein is now sushi. "LUGATA!!" on a plate awaiting Minato.
36. BOX reading STREETS OF TOKYO
37. Minato walking along. He thinks, 'Man, I am hungry."
38. Minato sees sign. Sign reads Drunken Dragon's Flaming Wok.
39. Minato going inside.

I think it would be great to add in something about Ein and the cook. I'll think about it. It would make it a perfect time for some comedy. After all how many times does one of the main characters get chopped up?

Oh yeah. Should the fish be in a box? wrapped in newspaper? or in a cooler? I think cooler cause he is still alive at this point.

Basher

 

Here's some title suggestions.

'A Fishy Day'
'The Sushi of Quintessence'

Or something like that.

 

I like this one better. If I had to choose between them.

How about 'Deep sea trouble' or 'Out of the sea' or 'Sushi surprise'

Added a few lines in.

27. Fish is capatured. "You worthless humans will pay for this."
28. Net back in boat.
29. Boat at shore with special fish in box or wrapped in paper or cooler. Ein can say "Get me out of here."
30. Owner selling merchandise to buyer. Buyer is by vechile. Which has the restaurant name on it.
31. Buyer gives fish to cook.
32. Cook takes out fish and grabs knife. "What's that thing for?"
33. Just Fish. "Oh boy." Another bubble "Help me."
34. Knife.
35. Ein is now sushi. "LUGATA!!" on a plate awaiting Minato.
36. BOX reading STREETS OF TOKYO
37. Minato walking along. He thinks, 'Man, I am hungry."
38. Minato sees sign. Sign reads Drunken Dragon's Flaming Wok.
39. Minato going inside.

 

Well, being a greater demon, he probably wouldn't be affected much. Though you could say that his limbs would be in several different places, which would be funny if, say, the tail suddenly started moving in an attempt to make the fish flop.

 

I like Seraphim's explanation of it...It does seem a lot more logical than just somehow having the seed...there.

I think it works out very well.

--MT

 

Very true. It looks like I will have to redue a few things to work it in. How about when Ein calls the fish it breaks open the bottle? Then the seed gets stock on a gill or something. Ein can control the fish still considering he is on the fish. I think he will have to embed the seed on the fish. Otherwise the seed could fall off considering most fish are washed before they are sliced. It would still make sense that Ein controls the fish. What does everyone else think?

By the way what will the name be for chapter 1?

 

How about after the jar is thrown into the sea, it's chomped by a sharp (causing it to break open). The seed flows out from between the shark's teeth, then gets eaten by a fish. Cuz glass is pretty hard, and probably the strongest thing under the sea is a nice, big set of shark jaws.

 

Sorry seraphix but I think that is going to overboard. It would be better to keep it simple.

 

Valant Rapitor mentioned "Fishy day". I think it sounds nice

 

So is 'Fishy Day' decided? I did like it. Maybe BMS can change the title.

Hey I know some Manga don't have chapters. Maybe we could do that. Hikaru no Go has Game 1 and etc. Just a thought.

Everyone okay with the panels. I don't think it would be a good idea to get to complicated. I'll need to reread and see what is going on again.