Debate Child abuse

A debate topic if I ever saw one.

Child Abuse hard to define but here is an idea. Child Abuse- Non-accidental physical injury or emotional disturbance. So by this definition spanking is child abuse.

I know we have heard reports on this and people say that you don’t need to spank. I do believe you don’t need to spank either as long as it life isn’t threaten. I don’t see spanking as child abuse. Spanking doesn’t leave marks or redness. If it does to me that is hitting. So lets debate.

 

I agree as long as the parent don't hit the kid to hard to where it leaves marks or break something. People will still say that is child abuse weather or not there is red marks they say that it will damamge the child mentaly. Also they say the parents shouldn't spanks there kids just ground them form doing something that they like to do. For me I think that is not a good idea because then the kid will try to be more sneaky and do it again and try not to be caught same with spanking but they will learn not to do it again and they will know the consinquences if they do it again or something else that they are not sposed to.

 

theres actually a fine line between Discipline and Child abuse. i believe in disicpine to some extint.
and anyway. im some cases Discipline doesn't work. i know for me it didn't. it just made me want to do things ten times worse the what i'd originally done.

Never discipline a child when you are angry. If you injure a child, you have gone too far. And just because your parents did it, it doesn’t mean that is the way it should be done.

DISCIPLINE is made to help children control and change their behavior.

ABUSE on the other hand. is characterized by its orientation toward expressing the negative feelings of parents. While it may result in positively changing the kids behavior, often the improvement is temporary and followed by a later acting out of the hatred, revenge and hostility they have learned from their parents. To avoid further abuse, children may lie, run away or exhibit other forms of avoiding responsibility. Abuse tends to damage the self-esteem of both the parents and the children.

I don't ever plan on physically disciplining my nephew there are other ways to get your point across.

 

I was spanked as a child.. it was when i was acting up and being bad.. Now when i was spanked it was only really to get me to cry, and get scared.. Never to abuse me..

You have to relate spanking to the old.. Thats hot dont touch.. Until a kid burns his fingers he/she wont know what hot means.. But when he/she does they know ok if i touch that it will hurt.. Same as spanking.. Ok if mom/dad say NO STOP and i keep going then Ouch this will hurt..

So if spanking is used like that then by all means use it.. But if your spanking a kid to take out your own frustrations then you should not have a child..

 

You really need to start setting up boundries from the begining, so as to teach the child that if you do something bad your going to be punished, otherwise the child s going to think its ok, and as they get older the problem gets worse until that child is walking all over their parents.
When i say "your going to be punished" i don't nessicarly mean a spanking. The setting up of proper rules and punishments (e.g. taking away their toys or not letting them watch t.v.) are forms of punishment without spanking. I sometimes think that a spanking is nessicary for children that really start to become out of control.
However, the problem is when to know your going to far, as their are people that have very little regard as to where this boundry lies. This, i think, is the main problem with the case, that people still go to far.

 

I think that spanking a Child is okay, as long as your not actually meaning to seriously hurt the child, and doing it to show them what happens when you act out of line..
I think that when a parent spanks a kid it will teach them well Hey, I don't want to do that again or else I will get spanked, and it makes them think before they do things from that point on..
Example...

My cousin Ethean, is 4... and he is a pain in the butt. He will wine and throw a fit to get people to pay attention and all his parents do is say Stop It. It doesn't help at all... well one day Kelly my aunt left Ethan at our house while she went to the stor, because she couldn't control him in there.. at my house he was screaming and crying his head off for no reason at all.. he has stayed at our house so many times while his mom had left or whatever that it wouldn't be a problem.. Well my dad told him to stop crying or he was going to spank him, and Ethean didn't stop and just got louder and then my dad stood up and spanked his butt and told him to stop. After that Ethean stoped and was fine for the rest of the time he was at our house.

From seeing stuff like this and knowing from my past tha spanking does work.. well on most kids. It makes you worry a little bit every time you do something bad because if your caught you might get spanked..

The only down side to spanking to me is.. It stops you from telling the truth if you do something wrong for the fear of being spanked.

 

Spanking is needed when talking doesn't cut it. I beleive in giving a child two warnings one is used up when he does it and the second is well a serious talk after that then spanking is needed cause the child is refusing to listen to you so then spanking is needed

 

I guess a few spankings to set your kid straight are ok. But when it goes overboard, its really cruel and pointless.
I mean, the kid will learn not to do it if you set him straight and show him boundaries at an early age.
I really dont think there's a need to hit your kid that hard...ever.

- Kaiyon

 

spanking is good for limited use only
I was
though more often than not it was a cuff to the back side of the head for me, not a hard one, jist hard enough to knock me off balance and hafta stop doing what I was doing so I didn't tip over
so yeah
I don't think ocational spanks are abuse, now i it's done for every little thing than yes it is
but it shouldn't be the defualt punishment

 

Considering I'm lazy, I figured I would quote what I posted in this 'physical discipline' thread. That topic in the psych department matches what you're asking to an extent: But, doesn't ask when discipline becomes abuse...

Edit: makes you realize how difficult parenting is. You have to be right in the middle between being an abusive power mongerer and a parent who lets their child do whatever he or she wants.

 

okay.... how come it's only the girls that get in trouble for that!

every parent has different means of displine for there children... how you go about it can result in how your kid grows up.

 

My dad worked in DHR(Department of Human Resources)* for the state of Alabama. I think if it leave bruises then perhaps, but spanking does not generally constitute abuse. My dad would take children form mothers who were more interested in drugs or disabled children from families who couldn't afford (or didn't want) to take care of them. It's not like he ever took a child from a family for spanking. Beating a child is another thing, as is neglegence. If you really want to know call DHR... of course they might look at ya funny.



*note this does not make me an expert... hopefully your local social workers are though.

 

Sounds a bit like Children's Aid Society. In his situation I wouldn't do much either in the case of spanking. As long as it doesn't get to the point where the child is spanked severely for every single bad thing s/he does. In a lot of cases parents resort to spanking because it's the fastest way to punish their child. So I would ask the parents if their work life is too stressful, maybe there is a problem in that aspect. Or maybe there are other things taking up their time, which an organization in the community could help them with.

If I did see that the child was in a bad physical state, I would give the family two choices: counselling to try to end the abuse, or the child taken away. The second choice would be tough for a social worker to do, but if it's in the best interest of the child then it must be done. I would personally try to persuade them to do the counselling, you never know if the kid will end up even worse off if moved to a new family. They would have developed a difficult personality from the abuse that some wouldn't understand or, sadly, tolerate.

 

Denis Leary said it best...

"My parents used to beat the **** out of me and looking back on it, I'm glad they did. And I'm looking forward to beating the **** out of my kids, too. For no reason whatsoever."

 

I heard that canada is way stricker then the USA. Once your child is tooken away it can be adopted. I would so fight that. Well that is what happen to my moms friend. I think it had to do with drinking. She lost 3 out of 4 children.

Right now one of my dearest and oldest family friends (It goes back 3 generations) child has been tooken away. The childs mother was found with an illegal substance. It was her older brothers fault. He is in far worse trouble then her. Anyway she can't get the child back unless she goes into treatment and moves out of her parents house. That is the only way for her parents to get the child. I think it is sad. She has lost a child to SIDS. It sucks and I want to help as much as I can. My sister tried to get the child but instead they arrested the whole family all but one actually.

See I think child neglect and child abuse go hand in hand. When they think child abuse is going on and they can't prove it they use child neglect to get the child out of the home. I can see that sometimes this is a good thing. But a few times it is bad.

Anyway the family is fighting it. They didn't know their son had an illegal substance. It isn't like they go and ask everyone before you come in no illegal substance is allowed so please leave it if you are carrying anything.

I think that child neglect and child abuse or so horribly written. I think we have all heard stories about how a parent spanked a child in public and got child abuse. I don't know for sure but I think things are kind of getting better. Parents should have the right to discipline their children without worry as long as they don't leave any marks. Chairs don't always work. Yelling won't.

 

I am sooooo against Child abuse. I think it is totally wrong in everyway. I have heard of reports of parents strangling their child and whipping it. I am totally disgusted by those kinds of people. When I'm of age, I want to have about 5 or 6 kids. I'd love them all dearly, no matter how many times they'd drive me up the wall. If I wanted to discipline my child, I would give them two warnings...then put them in time out if needed. If they continue this habit...I would ground them and/or take whatever is precious to them away.

That is terrible what they do in Canada! Omg...if my child was taken away...I would sooo be torn apart. I would fight for them till on end, but I would be so torn apart inside that I would want to live itself, but would have to for my own children's lives.

-Kryshana

 

I don't think anyone here is in favor of child abuse. The topic should've been named "Spanking = abuse?" or something.

Spanking is recommended for early children that are too stubborn. If it doesn't convince the child someting's wrong, at least it'll convice he'll get spanked if he does it again. Of course it must complement education and everything.

I remember that my parents told me I was very disobedient when young, so they spanked me, and i never disobeyed again Good thing I don't remember

In any case, I'd recommend all parents to attend "parenting courses" or something, there's so much that has to be known about raising children.

 

I was spanked when I was a kid it was because i did something that was very bad don't remember what it was though but i learned quickly not to do it again or I made sure I did not get caught which was a little to near impossible but if I have kids I don't know if I will spank them or not only time will tell