Debate Child abuse

exactly
spank/slap in low does = good dipline
over use = bad
I used to be spanked and now I'm 1/2 way looking after almost complete strangers' kids while drinkning w/my best friend so you can see how pysical displine works in the long rung

 

But there are few peolpe who will say that spanking in low does will cause the kid to have mental damage and they might become violent towards other people

 

hrm.. there has to be balance in parenting... but how a person turns out is really mostly up to the person... there's very very few things that will consistently affect how a child acts as an adult. arrogance and greed are really the only things i see as consistently coming from a certain source. (usually giving the child everything he/she wants and searing the idea that he/she is "special" into the child's brain..)

 

My friend Johnathan is like that. i've never met anyone else like him. he's got serious anger problems. and his dad still hits him to make him stop throwing things. it only makes it worse.

 

See, this is why I would be too intimidated to go into Children's Aid Society here in Canada. I would get a mask whenever I go out just in case I see a person who I've had to take their children into custody. I know of a social worker who worked with Children's Aid... she worked with one family who's father was in the Hell's Angels. The father was a complete $#& towards the daughter and was abusive, so his daughter had to be taken in. What ended up happening was that the whole Hell's Angels gang was after this social worker, even though she did what was necessary to protect the child.

So really, if a parent is a threat to his or her child then it doesn't matter how the parents feel, what matters is the child's safety. Yes it does happen that a social worker may misjudge whether a child is abused, and the family gets seperated. In those cases they could get into serious trouble for malpractice. Their case notes would have to be taken and the methods they used to judge abuse put into question. There may be a tendency to say "good! They deserve that!" But what's really heartbreaking is when the family is actually guilty, but the court says that they aren't, and the abuse/neglect continues.

 

who ever said childabuse enforcement is rough up here in Canada, wow, its no differnat from the states
though more suited to the job, less buy offs presure and such
I know lots of people who should have their kids taken away if you go by "posessing illegal subtance" that ones total bull, unless the parents is just stoned 24/7 then its not a excuse, same with drinking, unless the "abuse" is exessive then theres usualy no troubles
but anyways, just a bit of info

 

It really is a case-by-case scenario. Some kids are spanked and are better for it, others may be more emotionally fragile for whatever reason and develop complexes. Like in my family, I was spanked fairly regularly for acting up, whereas my brothers (who both have autism-spectrum disorders) are hardly ever spanked, because it would leave such a lasting impression. And not the "oh I'd better not do that again" impression hoped for, but the "my parents hate me" impression.

On a side note, saying it isn't abuse if there are no marks or broken bones may not be such a good idea. You can still do some pretty nasty physical damage without marking someone.

 

Very true. Sometimes mental damage is far worser then physical damage. I wonder how that works in. It would have to be some type of child abuse.

 

Did anyone hear about that kid? I hate to say I've forgotten his name... but I've forgotten his name. He was left in a basement and ignored by his grandparents or something. He starved to death, weighing only 21 lbs, and he was only 3'8". He was 5 years old, and he weighed about as much as a 10 month old baby, and was as tall as a 2 year old.

I don't understand what kind of person could do that to a child. I don't understand how they can live with themselves, knowing that they're guilty of such cruelty, of torturing such an innocent life. How do they even live with themselves?

As for me, I was rarely spanked. It happened, but never with any regularity or even any real strength behind it. I can't say I remember everything about how I was brought up, but I don't think it would be bragging to say I'm very glad of it, and I'm proud of who I am because of the way I lived as a child.

 

Yeah they better watch out I'm gonna knife them in the back BECAUSE MY DAD SPANKED ME. Something tells me if a kid grows up and "becomes" violent over a low dose of spanking, they were violent to begin with.

 

In low doses, I agree. Although there are always extenuating circumstances, I believe Autism was mentioned earlier, as one of them. But yeah.

It's not so much the frequency, though, as the deservedness, I think. Punish over something piddling and unimportant, and you're teaching your child to be a perfectionist, really. Sending them the message that they have to be perfect. But being too lax about punishments... well just look at most kids these days. Too many live without the proper level of discipline and order, and they suffer for it.

 

I said they might become violent i didn't say they will if the kid grew up to be violent then they may have been spanked in low doses and they built upon that which may cause them to be violent to others if the other person made them made

 

I was spanked in low doses, but I'm (mostly) a pacifist. I hate violence outside of video games and will do almost anything to avoid a fight. That doesn't mean I won't if I'm forced into it, but only if I have no other options.

I think there would have to be something wrong with the kid if he learned to be violent from the occasional spanking, especially if it's always done with good reason and properly followed up.

 

I think a trigger could happen. What I mean is that a time in someone’s life was bad could be spanking or whatever everything just piles up. All of a sudden that person is crazy or has a nervous break down because something else happened, the trigger. Going into it would show where it all started. Maybe even with child abuse. People are sensitive creatures. If things keep on happening to them at some point they might not be able to take it anymore. Some people cry, hurt themselves, have breakdowns, or take it out on others to ease the pain.

Children are hurt mentally by child abuse. They could feel unloved, their something wrong with them, or etc. Parents or guardians are supposed to be their protector/guider in life. Once that is broken it harms the kid a lot especially when they see other kids with their parents.

Children of child abuse are victims. Victims could have gone to therapy and are considered fine. But something reminds them of that incident (the trigger) and bam they are all sad again.

Life is hard and some people can’t deal. Sometimes it isn’t their fault. There could be something mentally wrong with them.