Recreation Did you ever...?

Way to go! I know that feeling. I tried breaking some jerk-classmate's leg with the ol' knee kick my brother taught me. Luckly he turned and I ended up getting the back of his leg

My parents had me shrink when I was about nine or so. I don't remember why (never bothered to ask), but the verdict: I'm wayyyy to much into detail and exactitude. The lady had me draw a bike while she observed. I went on for half an hour with the spokes, the gears, the brakes, the nibs for the air, the shine of the sun, the shadows and all that stuff. I still have this today. Drawing a picture of a person takes me one whole friggin day! God forbid if you want me to do a good pen and ink piece. Talk about wanting perfect. I guess its not bad, just I do feel really jelouse when I see someone who I know, do better then me at something that I am really good at.

I do get really agressive when someone makes fun of me, badgers me, taunts or anything like that. I feel like I have to go after him or else I will never let myself live it down. My older brother noticed this and had me go with him to an Al-Anon meeting since he would feel the same way. Needless to say, its works really well at getting me to relax my angry attitude. It's free therapy.

 

When i was little i was pretty quiet and really defensive and distant. They sent me to a counselor/pyschiatrist to "open me up"...which was a bunch of crap because i didn't talk the whole time and it was a total waste of money. All she did was talk while i sat there forced to listen. Finally at the end she gave up and said, "I think she is just not very trusting of people and she'll open up once she gets older"...all i could say was, "A child could have told you that...you are a complete waste of my time..." and i walked out. Of course i am not so mean anymore lol but i came back and she didn't even recognized me. I apologized for being so cruel to her but she really didn't help me at all...not even a little bit lol

 

Hmm...not yet, but on the other hand, not many know how i am on the inside. i put on a facade of happiness, but it's only cause it comes natural. Oh well, someone's bound to figure that out sooner or later.

Edit: Well, actually, i'm more hateful and cold than sad. It's not a good thing, and i have no control over it, but i have a tendency to regard everything with indifference, i.e., on i didn't feel anything at all on 9/11, although it's painful to admit it. And that pretty much leads to the depression, although i would never cut my slef or commit suicide....i'm too much of a coward, and plus, it would hurt to many people(at least i'd like to think people would care if that happened...)

 

I've never had to go to a psyciatrist.... I must be perfect! PERFECT! *goes insane*
Secretly, myabe I do need a psyciatrist.... but no one will ever know.... :O

 

lol my parents kept it from all of my relatives because they didn't want anyone to think i was a "troubled child" hahah...i guess they expected me to grow out of it the whole time...jsut quicker and before my relatives realized i wasn't just trying to be polite and quiet but that i really disliked everyone and didn't trust anyone either heh

 

LMAO Star Wars cards I have to hear this story.

I hate to bring this up but has anyone gotten so sad that they have hurt them selfs I mean I have I know I shouldnt and I am tring to stop. Well I need some help about that too my parents are like dont do it and that is it I think they gave up on me a long time ago

 

Oh yeah. Forgot to post it. ><;;

I do have depression. However, due to my circumstances, it will be another year or two before I post anything else. Then, *maybe* I will tell more.

Normally, I'm a depressive, cynical, jaded, sunuva*****, but when I have depression, you can tell. :sweat:

-_-;;
Self-injury is pointless. It leads you down a spiral into your own self-loathing and madness.

 

People keep telling me I need a psyciatrist. Sometimes as a joke, sometimes seriously, sometimes I can't tell.
and...lets just say they don't like me to have scissors anymore......

 

i haven't ever tried to hurt myself...its not something good to do because it doesn't really solve anything. Its just a temperary solvent to problems. My friend used to cut herself and she used to lie to me about it like she accidently cut herself adn its not healing. I finally found it out and i gave her a yelling for it. Even tho i made her cry she doesn't do it anymore and that is a good thing...plus no matter what people say it looks like it hurts like heck!!

 

I've had physical therapy! lol. ^_^

 

I did that and sometimes still do. I used to go after my sisters and "attack" them when they would poke at me to get off the computer or something. i would have fists and just go right for 'em. but about 3 weeks ago i just stopped and sat on the ground with my sister telling me to calm down and i just sat there in tears(from all that rage) and i just breathed hard and i got up and walked to my room. why i did this was because i was just about to turn around and grab a pencile and only Christ knows what i was gunna do with that....and i got scared and thought that maybe i was gunna jab it in to my sister....but i dont like doing that whole attcking thing anymore so what i do is bite myself...i used to do that to get out all the anger out so wouldnt hurt anyone. i just bite down as hard as i can and sometimes i began to bleed from biting so hard or it would just become a very bad bruis. but i didnt care how much it hurt...just i didnt want to hurt anyone anyone around me....so i guess that answers Quistis' question...i just bite myself i guess.....:shy3:

 

!!

i never have. but sometimes i wish i had a shrink that i could tell things to.