Debate Does "love at first sight" exist?

I enjoy my XBox a lot. And my computer is as close as it comes when it comes to love for an object. But am I going to suffer heartbreak if my computer craps out? No. Mild disappointment and extreme annoyance, yes, but that's all. The phrase we are debating about is referring to people in a romantic relationship. I don't care what other definitions of love say, because 1) that's not the sort of love being referenced 2) arguably that's still just infatuation they feel. Take shopping. You might see something you REALLY want but then you step back and realise it's not that wise a purchase decision. You just broke an infatuation, not love.

Look at a pet. You might think it's utterly adorable, and you buy it. You have it a week and say you love it to bits. Then it goes crazy, shreds your curtains and uses your entire house as its toilet. And keeps doing it. Your love will last about as long as your patience.

Given that I said love was not inherent later on... what I -was-saying is that such instincts can lead to love. Maybe I wasn't clear on that.

Do you have any idea how many types of insects, microscopic organisms both one celled and non, fish and non-caring reptiles there are? Ants do not feed grubs thinking "Billy should be full tonight"; they feed that grub thinking "FOR THE COLONY!"

An opening sonnet is not the play itself; it is just an opening sonnet. And if the rest of the play is not written, it remains a sonnet forever. Similarly, infatuation is not love itself; it is a first step towards love.

In fact, my sonnet comparison is flawed. Infatuation is more like a movie trailer. You catch a glimpse of some cool stuff, but it's not the actual film.

It's possible to fall out of love. Even genuine romantic relationships fail because of stress, money problems, severe difference of opinion, unsatisfying sexual life, etc... People change. As they do, so do their views of others and others views of them.

And I know of a woman whose mother disowned her and bought a gun in case said woman tries to get near. The motherly bonds of love were broken. Love is NOT limitless; that's idealistic prose and is not true when taken literally.

No you didn't. You illustrated a case where you felt that you loved the baby you'd already been carrying for nine months (nine months in which your body hormones were prepping for playing the role of mother). Your bit about the sperm donar, I doubt can actually be chalked up to love. Pride and paternal instincts? Yes, but not love.

 

I think the pillow reference would be categorized more as "nostalgic value" then love, simply because (and I may be outside my boundaries when I say this) you only "love" it because of memories/events attatched to it. This is typically why most (and I say most loosely here..) people try to preserve some of their childhood toys and other assorted memorbilia - to go back down memory lane. I don't really think that qualifies as love, though, especially not love at first sight. After all, the first time you saw the pillow, it was just a pillow, right?

 

hum.........I don't know

Well, it really depends on what kind of love it is.......so are you talking about a random person "loving" another person for their looks?....honestly, I don't get "love" yeah sure we all have love ones in our lifes but it's a whole different thing to what you mean.....in fact yeah i know i haven't experience any "love" with anyone and yes, i know that you are probably thinking that i'm just still too young or maybe stupid and don't know what i'm talking or understand..but seriously i have seen so many people in my life that think they are in love with the person that they are seeing...sure maybe for a while....they might think that their in love....but then out of the blue they both...seprate...even with marriage people now and days just get dovroice...all for nothing or for stupid reasons....so i just can't understand that at all.......well this is my opinoin, I belive that "love at first sight" is not true it's just all make belive in the mind......sorry to say this to everyone that do belive in love at first sight....there are many reason why i hate it and don't belive in it... :dizzy2:

 

Or perhaps they think "He's adorable, but I really can't deal with this. I don't have the time to train you a lot and money to keep repairing everything. Sorry bud, off you go."

Uh, I said that instincts pushed you strongly toward love, but that it wasn't necessary... notice how I also brought up abusive parents?

Well mammals are not the only animals on Earth. Deal with it.

You might take a girl out on a date and find out she's horrid. No real love lost.

I don't care if you don't like it.

You know, your debate might work better if you didn't toss around what amounts to a catchphrase. Love does have limits, both in who you find worthy of love and how far your love might go. If you're the only one who "gets it" then maybe we aren't the ones who have a problem. Maybe you aren't communicating your idea very well.

Actually, given how earlier in the debate I mentioned that there are abusive parents who don't love their kids, and that instincts only strongly pushed you... oh, never mind. Although thank you for conceding[/I] that parents are not obliged to love.

Not entirely; they have a very strong pull and while you can override them, it does take a lot of effort. (Or perhaps you never considered that abusive parents fell out of love perhaps?)

Because of an instinct to get rid of the weak.

Well, lots of people have already said that. We all feel you were infatuated at first sight, THEN as time went on you grew to love him.

Posts where I mention instinct doesn't NECESSARILY lead to love:
http://www.boards.jp/forums/showpost.php?p=218586&postcount=17
http://www.boards.jp/forums/showpost.php?p=218670&postcount=21

Basher, I'm giving you a warning right now - drop the condescending act and please try to read more. Additionally, say what you mean. If you mean mammals, say mammals.

 

i think it exist but it's not the appearance it depends on! i think u better think it a collection of things and appearance is on of it. but for me..a thing that catch ur interests on a girl is unknown!! COS's theories! ;P