Recreation funny stuff

another. wish I could put more than one in a post

 

lol

that picture is a good laugh. so is the toilet one. funny sh1t.

 

crap. that 'three is a good number' post was supposed to have a pic attatched hehe. trying again

 

jokes

these jke are "bad jokes" so dont look if you are either:
a, under 15
b, dont like sex jokes
or c, tight asses

A man is in a hotel lobby. He wants to ask the clerk a question.
As he turns to go to the front desk, he accidentally bumps into a woman beside him and as he does, his elbow goes into her breast. They are both startled and he says,
"Ma'am, if your heart is as soft as your breast, I know you'll forgive me."
She replies, "If your penis is as hard as your elbow, I'm in room 1221."

Bill worked in a pickle factory. He had been employed there for a
number of years when he came home one day to confess to his wife that
He had a terrible compulsion. He had an urge to stick his penis into the pickle slicer. His wife suggested that he should see a sex therapist to talk about it, but Bill indicated that he'd be too embarrassed. He vowed to overcome the compulsion on his own.
One day a few weeks later, Bill came home absolutely ashen. His wife could see at once that something was seriously wrong.
"What's wrong, Bill?" she asked.
"Do you remember that I told you how I had this tremendous urge?
to put my penis into the pickle slicer?"
"Oh, Bill, you didn't."
"Yes, I did."
"My God, Bill, what happened?"
"I got fired."
"No, Bill. I mean, what happened with the pickle slicer?"
"Oh...she got fired too."

A small chap goes into an elevator. When in he notices a very big dude
standing next to him.
The big dude looks down upon the small chap and says: "7 foottall, 350
Pounds, 20 inch ****, 3 pound left ball, 3 pound right ball, Turner Brown"
The small chap faints!!
The big dude picks up the small chap and brings him to, slapping his face and shaking him and asks the small chap; "What's wrong?"
The small chap says; "Excuse me but what did you say?"
The big dude looks down and says "7 foot tall, 350 pounds, 20 inch ****, 3 pound left ball, 3 pound right ball, my name is Turner Brown." The small chap says; "Thank god: I thought you said 'Turn around.

There was this couple who had been married for 50 years. They were sitting at the breakfast table one morning when the old gentleman said
To his wife, "Just think, honey, we've been married for 50 years."
"Yeah," she replied, "Just think, fifty years ago we were sitting here at this breakfast table together."
"I know," the old man said, "We were probably sitting here naked as
Jaybirds fifty years ago."
"Well," Granny snickered, "What do you say...should we get
Naked?" Where upon the two stripped to the buff and sat down at the table.
"You know, honey," the little old lady breathlessly replied," My nipples
Are as hot for you today as they were fifty years ago."
"I wouldn't be surprised," replied Gramps. "One's in your coffee and the other is in your oatmeal!!!!

Three guys: a Canadian, Osama bin Laden, and Uncle Sam are out walking together one day. They come across a lantern and a genie pops out of it.
"I will give each of you each one wish. That's three wishes total," says the genie.
The Canadian says, "I'm a farmer, my dad was a farmer, and my son will also farm. I want the land to be forever fertile in Canada."
With a blink of the genie's eye, *POOF* the land in Canada was forever made fertile for farming.
Bin Laden was amazed, so he said, "I want a wall around Afghanistan, so that no infidels, Jews, or Americans can come into our precious state."
Again, with a blink of the genie's eye, *POOF* there was a huge wall around Afghanistan.
"Uncle Sam" (A former civil engineer), asks, "I'm very curious. Please tell me more about this wall."
The Genie explains, "Well, it's about 15,000 feet high, 500 feet thick, and completely surrounds the country; nothing can get in or out - it's virtually impenetrable."
Uncle Sam says, "Fill it with water."

Osama bin Laden and one of his followers were riding on a camel when they stopped at a small town. Bin Laden gets off the camel and lifts up its tail and looks at the camel's butt, just then a guy comes over and says, "What are you doing?"
Osama replies, "About 2 miles back I heard someone say, 'Hey, look at the two assholes on that camel.'"

 

funny picture

funny pictre, open with internet explorer or netscpe.

 

anyone else?

anyone else got any funny pics or jokes?

 

Watch out windows, you've got competition!